slightly used soulWhy sell your soul to the devil when you can sell it on eBay? That's what Lori N. of Albuquerque is attempting to do, and I must say I think it's an absolutely brilliant idea -- not to mention a bargain! Bids for Lori's "slightly used" human soul start at just $2,000!! (Shoot, I'd be surprised if I could give mine away.) Wonder if shipping is included?

In all seriousness, the backstory here is terribly sad: Lori's life was pretty much destroyed several years ago when the freelance writer was riding in a car hit by a drunk driver. She broke her leg, hip, and pelvis, suffered a stroke and a collapsed lung, and lost one of her breasts. It's been nearly impossible for her to work since. Her body is shattered, so Lori figures her soul (slightly used) is all she really has left to offer. "I'm near the end of my rope. I really am," she says. Cripes, can you blame her?!

In my opinion, Lori deserves to make a couple thousand bucks after what she's been through. Imagine how cool would it be if we could all be compensated for our crappy life experiences! I bet eBay would look a little something like this:

Human Heart

Item condition: All used up

Days left: 2d 04h

Starting bid: US $3,000.00

Previous owner wouldn't stop dragging item around, but could be like new again with a little TLC.

Hopes & Dreams

Item Condition: Dashed

Days left: 3d 21h

Starting bid: $5,000.00

Previously high hopes and big dreams, now trampled upon. Worth millions in original state.


Right? That would be awesome!! Then, at long last, life would actually be slightly fair. Kinda sorta. More profitable, anyway.

What would you sell on eBay if you could?