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The Park Bench The Park Bench
I'm getting divorced from my husband of 20 years and I'm wondering if any mom out there has found love after there divorce I'm very scared to try again
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Aug. 7, 2012 at 9:35 AM
Replies (21-26):
ssgtgrl12
by on Aug. 8, 2012 at 11:34 AM
1 mom liked this

yes i agree..there is someone new for you out in this big world!!

Quoting StarryRain:

There is most certainly love after divorce. Be confident mama!
<3


welcomeamerican flag ribbon

dingysfamily
by Suzi on Aug. 8, 2012 at 2:26 PM

Oh yeah.  Both dh & I were divorced from our first spouses; I was married for 14.5 years, he for 13 (his ex told him she wanted a divorce on their 13th anniversary!).  We met while we were both awaiting our divorces (neither of use were looking however), never dated anyone else & married 2 1/2 years later.  We've been married now for 27 years, 4 months & 10 days ... and we are extremely happy I might add.  Just take each day as it comes and trust yourself. 

earthangel1967
by on Aug. 8, 2012 at 8:09 PM


Quoting dclark39:

Guess I'm feeling old but I'm only 39 but there are guys that are good friends but not one I would date I need to just take care of me and my kidsThanks:)


Quoting earthangel1967:

I purposely didnt date for the first year during the divorce but then I started online dating which I had an extremely positive expeirence with. I met so many attractive smart sweet guys just didnt fall in love with them and then I met the LOVE of my life  that way 2 yrs after my divorce. Neither he nor I even believed in soulmates until we met but we do now and its 9 yrs later and we are more in love all the time. My biggest advice is DONT find someone to complete you ... make sure you take time to feel WHOLE on your own first and then find someone to share that with that is also whole. Good luck : D


I was 34 when I started online dating. At the time I was NOT looking for a serious or exclusive relationship at all as a matter of fact I was only casually dating and made that clear as I was convinced I preferred being single and just being me and the 4 kids and figured I'd be happier that way even if I lived to be 100. It was an unexpected shock to me when I met my soulmate and fell in love. I'm 44 now (I dont feel old at all and am very happy and the kids are too.)

I dont think you should rush into anything, I think especially after a divorce its really healing and wise to take YOU time to focus on you and focus on the kids and if you feel ready to date sooner or later that is fine and if you dont that is fine too. But you arent too old is all I am saying. Not even close. They even have dating sites for those 50 and over. You are never too old to date IF dating is what you want.

PS when I did date and I highly reccomend this to any divorced person with kids, I did NOT let the guys I went on a date with meet my kids (I dont want them or my kids getting attached unless I know that the relationship is getting serious and is looking longterm it wouldnt be fair to the guy or to the kids) I met the guys in a public place for safety and didnt let them know where i lived to keep me and the kids safe, we never had any problems but I wasnt taking any chances.  I personally wanted my time with the 4 kids to be a priority so I went on some coffee dates to meet guys when the kids were at school and was home before they were or I had a babysitter AFTER THE KIDS WENT to bed so the kids didnt have to sacrifice any time with me for my date and I tucked them in before going. Because of this I never ran into any jealousy or resentment problems from any of the kids who were elementary to teens at the time.

  YVONNE

jessiesgirl88
by on Aug. 8, 2012 at 9:40 PM
oh yes there is definately love after divorce i got married at a very young age and after catching him cheating on me and becoming verbally abusive we didnt even make it threw 1 year of marriage and i was done i left him in january of 2008 i went on a few dates but just thought there was no more love for me out there but in august of 2008 i met the most amazing man we dated and when i realized he was the one i had enough money to file for divorce and im now engaged to that wonderful man and we are doing wonderful hope to get married next year and we'll be together 4 years on the 13th of this month just try taking it slow since your nervous like i was about finding love again give yourself time to heal and im confident you'll find love again
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dclark39
by on Aug. 8, 2012 at 10:06 PM
Thanks for the great advice I'm glad you found your soul mate;)


Quoting earthangel1967:



Quoting dclark39:

Guess I'm feeling old but I'm only 39 but there are guys that are good friends but not one I would date I need to just take care of me and my kidsThanks:)



Quoting earthangel1967:


I purposely didnt date for the first year during the divorce but then I started online dating which I had an extremely positive expeirence with. I met so many attractive smart sweet guys just didnt fall in love with them and then I met the LOVE of my life  that way 2 yrs after my divorce. Neither he nor I even believed in soulmates until we met but we do now and its 9 yrs later and we are more in love all the time. My biggest advice is DONT find someone to complete you ... make sure you take time to feel WHOLE on your own first and then find someone to share that with that is also whole. Good luck : D



I was 34 when I started online dating. At the time I was NOT looking for a serious or exclusive relationship at all as a matter of fact I was only casually dating and made that clear as I was convinced I preferred being single and just being me and the 4 kids and figured I'd be happier that way even if I lived to be 100. It was an unexpected shock to me when I met my soulmate and fell in love. I'm 44 now (I dont feel old at all and am very happy and the kids are too.)


I dont think you should rush into anything, I think especially after a divorce its really healing and wise to take YOU time to focus on you and focus on the kids and if you feel ready to date sooner or later that is fine and if you dont that is fine too. But you arent too old is all I am saying. Not even close. They even have dating sites for those 50 and over. You are never too old to date IF dating is what you want.


PS when I did date and I highly reccomend this to any divorced person with kids, I did NOT let the guys I went on a date with meet my kids (I dont want them or my kids getting attached unless I know that the relationship is getting serious and is looking longterm it wouldnt be fair to the guy or to the kids) I met the guys in a public place for safety and didnt let them know where i lived to keep me and the kids safe, we never had any problems but I wasnt taking any chances.  I personally wanted my time with the 4 kids to be a priority so I went on some coffee dates to meet guys when the kids were at school and was home before they were or I had a babysitter AFTER THE KIDS WENT to bed so the kids didnt have to sacrifice any time with me for my date and I tucked them in before going. Because of this I never ran into any jealousy or resentment problems from any of the kids who were elementary to teens at the time.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
dclark39
by on Aug. 8, 2012 at 10:07 PM
That's awesome I'm very happy for you both


Quoting dingysfamily:

Oh yeah.  Both dh & I were divorced from our first spouses; I was married for 14.5 years, he for 13 (his ex told him she wanted a divorce on their 13th anniversary!).  We met while we were both awaiting our divorces (neither of use were looking however), never dated anyone else & married 2 1/2 years later.  We've been married now for 27 years, 4 months & 10 days ... and we are extremely happy I might add.  Just take each day as it comes and trust yourself. 


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