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The Park Bench The Park Bench

Question for parents of teens

Posted by on Aug. 31, 2012 at 11:10 AM
  • 8 Replies

My 14 year old nephew recently stole 20$ from a girl in his class. He claims he thought it belonged to another student and that is who he gave the money too. First off he always has a story for what he did wrong and has been getting into a lot of trouble recently. Second off the girl gave him a day to pay the money back before she was pressing charges against him. He has 3 younger brothers and his mom didn'thave the money to give him to pay it back, he got the money from his grandfather who was in the hospital the day this all went down - so he didn't get in trouble. His mom didn't actually do anything to him as she always tried to be their friends instead of the authority in the house.

My real question is this: If you had a child who stole money, and you didn't have the money to pay it back no matter how much you made them work for it, what would you do? I suggested that he hit up all his friends parents and do jobs for them - actually I stated I'd make him do jobs for 50cents each and have to tell them why he needed the money so bad. When I told my MIL(his grandmother) this she thought I was crazy. He's old enough to cut grass, clean a house, move furniture, babysit for a few hours or countless other tasks - heck he is great at basketball and could have gave a few lessons to get some of the money back. Why give him the money and not let him learn the lesson of how hard it is to make money? - So what do you all think?

by on Aug. 31, 2012 at 11:10 AM
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Replies (1-8):
CoeyG
by on Aug. 31, 2012 at 11:25 AM
2 moms liked this

No way would I give my child the money to pay back what he stole.  At 14 he knows that stealing is the wrong thing to do and that when caught one is punished.  Maybe if he had to face the consquences of his actions once in awhle he wouldn't be a theif at 14

soon2bmomof2grs
by on Aug. 31, 2012 at 12:05 PM

I agree. Thats why I think he should have had to work his 14 year old theif of a butt off to get the money back to give the girl. Let him see how hard it is to come up with that money in the time limit. Glad I'm not the only one who thinks giving him the money is crazy.

EireLass
by Silver Member on Aug. 31, 2012 at 1:09 PM

I would make him go to the kids parents and explain what he did and why, and ask them to give him an opportunity to work i toff in odd jobs around their home.

soon2bmomof2grs
by on Aug. 31, 2012 at 1:22 PM

That's a good idea as well. I think anything that would make him realize just what he did would be better than giving him the money.

rocky_mtn_mama
by on Aug. 31, 2012 at 7:16 PM

I agree with you.  If he's old enough to know it's wrong (which he is) then he's old enough to own up to it and work to make it right.  Asking money from his grandfather was definitely the wrong thing to do.

soon2bmomof2grs
by on Aug. 31, 2012 at 9:07 PM

BUMP!

MansfieldMama
by on Aug. 31, 2012 at 11:07 PM

I agree with you completely.  It doesn't matter if I had the money or not, he would have to work to earn the money to pay it back.  He has to learn there are consequences to his actions.

tinysmom160
by Bronze Member on Sep. 1, 2012 at 12:32 PM

Well, I am kind of a different mom first I would sit him down and talk to him why he did this and give him a change to come clean. Then I would explain how hard it is to make 20 dollars now days and how hard mom and dad works to make sure he has stuff and a place to live (with crying a little it works). Then I would make him write a letter to the girl and her parents telling them sorry. Then if grandpa gave him the 20 then he would work for grandpa to pay it back. Being around old people can teach him a lot. 

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