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Is being a SAHM good enough?

Posted by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 8:49 PM
  • 31 Replies

I am wondering what everyones honest opinion is. My dh doesn't understand why I have no desire to go to school. We got married a year after I graduated high school and I never went to college. We have 3 children and my youngest went to school this year so I have spent the last 4-5 months being a stay at home mom without them home. He says he thought I would want to go to school and "do something with my life by now." The way I look at it is I am already doing something with my life. I am completely fulfilled being a SAHM. I don't feel like there is anything missing. I have no desire to do anything else. once upon a time that is what women did. They spent their lives taking care of their families.Now I have offered to get a job while the kids are in school but any job making less than $10 an hour is a waste of time in his opinion (since he makes enough to support us) and the area where we live you can't just get a job that pays that and still be home for the kids. It's just not happening. He wants me to go to school and get a degree. He says he doesn't care if I never work He just wants me to go to school and get a degree in something useful.

So what do you think is being a stay at home mom good enough?  Is a woman considered "doing nothing with her life" If she does not go to school to have a career?

by the way I am considering homeschooling next year and am concerned I will not be able to handle that on top of an education for myself.

** I want to add that I do have a Early childhood education Certificate that I recieved while in High school. I worked at a day care after school for 3 years and also was a substitute teacher for 2 years So I do have some experience in Education.

by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 8:49 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Bleacheddecay
by Bronze Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 10:08 PM
1 mom liked this

I think being a SAHM is enough.As long as you have a good sense of self worth, some time alone, some time with adult friends and date nights with your husband.  However, your husband clearly does not agree. Have you shared with him the cost of getting a college degree?!? It's not cheap.

Lindalou907
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 5:04 AM

Did his mom have a degree and work outside the home?

Lindalou907
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 5:05 AM

To answer your question, yes, of course it's enough. But it sounds like he won't respect you for your choice.

rosebud727
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 5:13 AM
1 mom liked this

Well, if you are happy with your choice then that is what matters. When the kids are grown and off to college, what do you see yourself doing then? Some mom's like to volunteer, some like myself return to the workforce and that's where my education helped me get a job. 

EbonyLove29
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 5:16 AM
4 moms liked this

Get your degree hun, just incase he tries to leave you and the kids. At least you'll have something to fall back on.

MamaFrankie
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 5:32 AM
1 mom liked this
I have to say being a sahm is NOT enough. Set an example for your children that education is a key factor in having a stable life. Doesn't have to be a college , go to a technical school even to have a certification in something to fall back on.

It sounds a lot like you're the one with a lot of excuses as to why not to get a degree. I want my kids to finish school and not have the mindset "it's okay to not have something to fall back on, because my s/o makes enough to support us.". Life isn't always wine &+ roses, things happen that throw bumps in our way and arleast furthering your education may help ease that struggle if god forbid your DH were to lose his job, or his hours get cut, or something happens where he physically can not work.

Never say never. I rather be over prepared then under prepped in life.
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snuggiewoogie
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 4:58 PM

 I am a SAHM and I think it's just fine! You do what you wanna do it's your life.... I enjoy being home with my daughter!

earthangel1967
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 10:35 PM
1 mom liked this

 I dont think every woman is called to be a sahm nor will every woman feel happy and fullfilled as one. BUT I do understand where you are coming from bc I had my first child at 19 on purpose, 2nd one  at 20 on purpose 3rd one at 24th on purpose and then 4th one at 27 which was a HUGE suprise, being a mom is all I ever wanted to be more than anything else ever. I even use to pretend my dolls were literally alive I wanted to be a mom so bad, I put my heart and soul into raising those kids with lots of energy creativity and passion, raising them will always be the most fullfilling and important thing I will ever do in this lifetime no matter what else I may ever do. I never regretted not having a career or out of the house job.

View Full Size ImageYVONNE

Bellum
by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 2:19 PM

I worked for several years before marrying and becoming a SAHM.  My husband and agreed that is best for now.  But I like that I am employable should something happen, or once the kids are older, I have some options for what I might like to do. When your kids are young, it is hard to imagine having the time to do anything else, but that might change as they get older.  I think it is good to have interests beyond your kids, and furthering your education is ONE way to do that.  

Redwall
by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 7:58 PM
1 mom liked this

Is a stay at home mom good enough?! This totally baffles me. My kids are 24 and 26 and still live at home (thank you, Lord, for the bad economy).  Both boys are able to save lots of money (we dont charge rent) and they still get good healthy meals.  I will never, ever consider this "doing nothing with my life" I worked full time as a legal secretary when my husband and I were first married and I loved it.  But all I really wanted to do was be a mom.  We homeschooled, my kids had hot lunches and we spent tons of family time together.  Anybody that says different doesn't know what it takes to be a stay at home person....

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