My dad and I have never had a very good relationship. He and my mom divorced when I was 5. He was always a part of my life and always paid his child support on time. If we needed something and my mom couldn't afford it, dad would buy it (shoes, coats, money for a doctor visit). When I turned 18 he stopped all financial support even though I was still in high school. When I started college, he absolutely would not help me with expenses.
On so many occasions he has helped my brothers financially, but never me. I have gotten upset / mad, but that only affects me. Inspite of our troubles, I still associate with my dad on holidays and we communicate occasionally via emails.
My mom passed away 1 1/2 years ago of a sudden heart attack. My mom was my best friend and it was very difficult. So I only have my Dad for a "parent" now.
All that said, my dad called me last night to tell me he has lymphoma (a type of cancer of the blood system). Since I am a lab tech he knew I would understand. He asked me to share with my brothers because I could answer any questions they would have easier than he could.
I told my younger brother last night. I expected high drama and dreaded making the call, but he took it quite well. Today I have to tell my older brother. His health is fragile as he has had 2 strokes. I hope he takes it as well. What is difficult is none of us have a great relationship with our father.
It's too bad it will take something like this to bring us closer. I told my dad i would go to the doctor with him so I can be more involved in this process. My dad's wife does not drive so most likely I will have to help when he starts his chemotherapy. The problem is I work 2 jobs already so I don't know how I will fit this in. I am pretty sure my brothers won't offer to help - but who knows?