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The Park Bench The Park Bench

Were these women out of line or not in your opinion?

Posted by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 9:39 PM
  • 21 Replies
I went to an independently-owned Mexican food family restaurant where my dad lives, with my two aunts who are visiting from out of state (my dad's health is declining to a rapid-progressing cardiovascular disease and is alone, my mom divorced him for another man 2 yrs ago), my brother his wife and my 4 y/o niece and 3 y/o nephew and my 4 y/o daughter and husband. Anyways the kids were doing pretty good but started to get a little rowdy as kids that age tend to get ( or kids any age lol, I work in junior high so I know how rowdy big kids can be too). There were other kids being loud etc., but I guess they in particular rubbed these two women in their 50s the wrong way. Anyways they were just kind of playing and started running behind our seats and I guess their seats, we stopped them but they would still get up and be kind of loud. I admit I was talking a lot to my aunts bc I rarely see them, as was my brother and his wife and my husband, and when they walked past us when they were done to use the restroom, they looked right at my dad who's obviously in a weakened condition as he is very thin with a greyish complexion and cane, and said, "too noisy, you guys". Why would they look right at my father? He happened to be right near the exit I guess as he wa son the end of the table but so was my aunt---I feel they said it to him bc he looked like the weakest who wouldn't say anything back---pretty pathetic of them if you ask me. Or maybe they thought he'd be more apologetic or understanding,b/c he's older or bc he's the patriarch oldest male. Anyways my brother actually got up and said something back to them, "This is a family restaurant, if you don't want to be around kids, don't come here. And don't have the nerve to say stuff to us about our kids. Got anything else to say?" They were naturally intimidated as he's 6'3 and buff. He was defending my dad but also our kin.I'm one to ignore stuff, probably b/c of my smaller stature but secretly I admired my brother for defending us. I resent them saying something b/c we were trying to have a nice meal with our family and some aunts whom we hardly see. And we weren't the ONLY ones with kids being "noisy". why'd they single us out? I guess cause we were nearest them. I admit I wasn't as disciplinary with my dd but that's b/c I was visiting my aunts. I feel they were rude and out of line. I know they were trying to enjoy their meal but still if they don't like it try to tune it out. I have been out as a person without kids and been on an adult/friend lunch date and been annoyed by loud kids and their families but I never confront them bc I think that's rude and I realize kids will be noisy sometimes it's just how they are.Also like my brother had said it's not a gourmet restaurant in the city, it's a family restaurant in a small town where my dad lives and there were plenty of other kids equally noisy. I have been out with my daughter acting just as 'noisy" at even nicer restaurants and no1 has said anything. Anyways when they walked out we all said "have a nice day" sarcasticlaly to them and I then said "learn to like life a little".
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 9:39 PM
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Replies (1-10):
lovegrandbaby
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 11:58 PM

I hear ya.  If people don't want to go to restaurants that allow families, they should go to small intimate restaurants that don't allow children.  Some people have nothing better to do with their lives.

EireLass
by Silver Member on Mar. 10, 2013 at 11:55 AM
5 moms liked this

"Family Restaurant" means all ages are welcome....it doesn't mean unruly running-around kids. You had no control of your kids, and that is a disturbance for others. You're making excuses because 'other kids' were loud. Focus on yours, not others. The women spoke to the Patriarch, that's it. You're brother was out of line.

MamaStrong13
by on Mar. 10, 2013 at 12:39 PM
3 moms liked this

Do you know their story? Why they were upset because YOUR kids were runining their meal? Everyone has a story. Just because you hadn't seen your family in awhile was not their problem. Should you have wanted to focus mainly on your Aunts and not your kids, you should have just went to a family members home and had dinner that way. I agree with a PP, just because it's a family restauraunt doesn't give your kids freedom to run around acting up. I'd NEVER allow my child to run around like that in a restauraunt, except maybe Chuck-e-cheese. 

MommyDearest555
by on Mar. 10, 2013 at 1:17 PM
2 moms liked this

I would be more understanding if it weren't for the fact the children were up running around. When in a restaurant and even a family restaurant, children are to be seated. They could have easily tripped a waiter or injuired themselves in said restaurant. Who would then be resposible for something like that. If I were in a restaurant, I wouldn't have sat there and dealt with the children running behind me or coming up behind my chair. I pay for my meal just as well as others. I can handle a little noise, my child is not perfect, but not coming up behind my seat and running around my table. That is rude. I would have said something to the parents (you in this case). I by far would not have been nasty, that is just not necessary, but would have asked you politely to ask the children to leave our seats alone or something of that nature. It is rude of you to expect other people to just "deal with" a roudy child because it is a family restaurant. Unless it is chuck e cheese or something of that nature, the child should be somewhat behaved in public. I agree with Mamastrong above, if you were that worried about spending time chatting with the Aunts, you should have had dinner at your fathers or ordered carry out. 

sexysiren1983
by on Mar. 10, 2013 at 1:21 PM

Quoting MamaStrong13:

Do you know their story? Why they were upset because YOUR kids were runining their meal? Everyone has a story. Just because you hadn't seen your family in awhile was not their problem. Should you have wanted to focus mainly on your Aunts and not your kids, you should have just went to a family members home and had dinner that way. I agree with a PP, just because it's a family restauraunt doesn't give your kids freedom to run around acting up. I'd NEVER allow my child to run around like that in a restauraunt, except maybe Chuck-e-cheese. 


I am not saying that they were not validated. I understand their feelings and I have been them before too just as I have been and was on the other side yesterday. I know the feelings of frustration when there's noisy kids and yes I have been annoyed at the parents AND the kids---but I don't have the gall to say stuff. I feel if I am going out to a family restaurant then there will be kids and they will be noisy. I don't expect gourmet behavior if I'm not a gourmet restaurant. I can understand how they feel but I think some things people can keep to themselves or talk amongst each other. If it were some fancy restaurant for sure I'd feel ashamed and probably leave, but we were in a corner table far away int eh back of the restaurant and we had been there before they even arrived and sat down.They saw us already there and should have considered the possibility of asking for a different table before they ordered their food if they didn't want to be around children or hear children. They could have asked for a different seat as there were plenty spaces available away from us. Instead of being confrontational, and obviously can't take it but can dish it out, (as demonstrated when my brother "put them in their place" so to speak), they should find a way to improve their dining without being interfering or confrotnational. To tell it to my dad when he's not the parents and is obviously in ill health is also pretty low. Were they expecting him to discipline or apologize? I mean seriously, what do people expect when they make comments like that? Maybe you're right, maybe dinner at my dad's apartment would have been better but we want to enjoy the restaurant experience too. Bottom line: it's not a gourmet restaurant. My daughter and niece and nephew weren't running all over, they were just laughing and giggling and being normal kids happy to see each other who now and then got up from their seats and we would remind them to sit down and they usually would. I can see that being annoying to some people, and I know not everybody likes kids, and maybe these women didn't, but I still think learn to tolerate others without being so quick to point fingers especially given the context of the restaurant. I agree my brother confronting them was a little unnecessary, but I honestly think they deserved it and I found it humorous how scared they were. If you can't take it, don't dish it out in the first place. If you say stuff like that to people, be prepared for people to say stuff back and a possible confrontation. I'm one to ignore people like them, I don't let strangers' comments get to me, and actually strangers have never said anything like that to me before about my child.
EireLass
by Silver Member on Mar. 10, 2013 at 3:17 PM

You're right. The correct thing to do would be to have the manager ask you to leave, as you were disturbing other patrons.

mightymo
by Member on Mar. 10, 2013 at 6:45 PM
1 mom liked this

they could have quitely come to your table and said something ,or better yet they should not go to family restaurants,because it means exactly that

sexysiren1983
by on Mar. 10, 2013 at 9:04 PM

Quoting EireLass:

You're right. The correct thing to do would be to have the manager ask you to leave, as you were disturbing other patrons.


Um...yeah. There 8 of us, 2 of them. No restaurant owner will kick out that much money or tips. They were extra nice to us too bc they heard the women say that and they actually glared at them.
EireLass
by Silver Member on Mar. 11, 2013 at 1:10 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm that crazy lady you talk about who speaks to your child in the grocery, or in the restaurant, grabs their arm as they're runny by my chair, telling them to sit down, they're bothering me. If the parents aren't concerned with the kid when they bother people, the bothered people have the right to speak up.

Hello07
by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 5:27 AM
3 moms liked this
Let me get this straight.

Your kids were running around in a restaurant and making noise and when they told your table you were being too loud you brother who is tall and intimidating stood up and was defensive and rude?

Sounds like you are the rude ones. It's a restaurant and completely inappropriate to have kids running around and being loud. It's also completely inappropriate to be ignoring your kids while they are being rude because you are too busy talking to someone else. How trashy is that that your brother stood up like a low life and got all defensive and aggressive.

Tacky tacky people. You soun like the parents that give other parents a bad reputation.
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