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The Park Bench The Park Bench

Make my self look better

Posted by on Mar. 13, 2013 at 12:15 AM
  • 11 Replies
Ok so here it is, My husband cheated on me. He was all over me Christmas day and went to a party and got with this girl on December 28th of this year. He is still Married to me but is with her. I have no address to serve him at. I'm looking for ways to make my self look better in the courts eyes and to better my self. I'm looking to get full custody of our son and our unborn daughter. I want him to have supervised visitation and for his girlfriend not to be allowed around our children. I also want him to do a drug test and take Parenting/Anger management classes. What are things I can do to make the judge look and be like wow kind of thing?
by on Mar. 13, 2013 at 12:15 AM
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Replies (1-10):
SEEKEROFSHELLS
by on Mar. 13, 2013 at 1:11 AM

 I think you are asking for a lot. He left you and is with a girlfriend. You can't control that. If he is on drugs and has anger management issues why didn't you leave him before he left you. I don't know but I suspect a judge will be wondering this too. I don't know the background but if you stayed with him and now want full custody, and he left you, unless there is a paper trail you might look like a whiner. Hope other ladies can give you better advice than I on what you need. I would soul search and seek counsel of an attorney on how you can look Better.

Lindalou907
by on Mar. 13, 2013 at 4:41 AM
2 moms liked this

Ask an attorney. If you still love him wait a while and see how this girlfriend thing plays out. Perhaps a legal separation and have zero contact for a while, so he has some time to think and miss you and his child. I don't think he can be forced to do a drug test or supervised visits if there's no history of abuse. Document everything that happens.

HTMommy
by on Mar. 13, 2013 at 8:09 AM
yep you have to document everything. as far as your unborn daughter....dont list him as the father and he doesnt have any rights unless he gives a damn and takes you for paternity. as far as looking good....be careful because that can backfire. get representation and get a suit. look as professional as possible. also you cant get the judge to do anything unless there is a history of it in his past or you have proof and even then you may have a judge that just sees you as being vindictive and not grant anything you want....be careful. regardless of him cheating unless there us proof and a documented background....custody fights can get nasty and dirty fast if he puts up a fight
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SEEKEROFSHELLS
by on Mar. 13, 2013 at 7:58 PM

 As for the advice don't list him on your unborn daughters birth cert I would be very careful of that. In some states the man you are married to is automatically considered the father. It also makes you look different if you are still married to the man, yet have father unknown on the birth cert.  Get legal advice.


Quoting HTMommy:

yep you have to document everything. as far as your unborn daughter....dont list him as the father and he doesnt have any rights unless he gives a damn and takes you for paternity. as far as looking good....be careful because that can backfire. get representation and get a suit. look as professional as possible. also you cant get the judge to do anything unless there is a history of it in his past or you have proof and even then you may have a judge that just sees you as being vindictive and not grant anything you want....be careful. regardless of him cheating unless there us proof and a documented background....custody fights can get nasty and dirty fast if he puts up a fight



SEEKEROFSHELLS
by on Mar. 13, 2013 at 8:13 PM

 She is right. Get a notebook and pen and document everything. It works both ways. Don't be texting and e-mailing nasty things as that can be used in court. Also if he knows you are on Cafe Mom what you type here can be viewed by him and his girlfriend. I would also get a notebook for YOU. Write down your goals and dreams and write down.....I will call this number tomarrow to do this, I will visit this place tomarrow to do this. Go towards the light. Remember there is NO custody agreement so he can very well take your child and you fight in court for custody. NO one wants that. I had a great relationship with my ex, and the stepmother and the stepkids. It can be done. I hope for you he comes back if that's what you want. . It is really time to see an attorney. 


Quoting Lindalou907:

Ask an attorney. If you still love him wait a while and see how this girlfriend thing plays out. Perhaps a legal separation and have zero contact for a while, so he has some time to think and miss you and his child. I don't think he can be forced to do a drug test or supervised visits if there's no history of abuse. Document everything that happens.



LucyHarper
by on Mar. 13, 2013 at 8:15 PM

Does he actually have a drug and anger management problem and have a reason to not be alone with the kids, besides that you are mad at him for cheating? Otherwise, you can't just demand those things. You need proof.

MamaStrong13
by on Mar. 13, 2013 at 9:24 PM

Are you trying to seduce the judge? Sorry, had to ask. Are you a bad mother? If not then I'm not sure why you'd need to work hard at making yourself look good. Take a shower, brush your hair and teeth, and wear clothes that cover your body. 

As for the girlfriend never being allowed around your kids? Yeah, good luck. That's not really your choice unless she's a danger to their lives. Sucks to be cheated on, but look at it as she's now with the scum and you have a chance at a clean slate (few scrates, but clean). Hold your head up, smile and have faith that you're a dang good Mama and the Judge will see that....unless you aren't. Good Luck

HTMommy
by on Mar. 14, 2013 at 11:37 AM
thats true it all depends on which state you live in.

Quoting SEEKEROFSHELLS:

 As for the advice don't list him on your unborn daughters birth cert I would be very careful of that. In some states the man you are married to is automatically considered the father. It also makes you look different if you are still married to the man, yet have father unknown on the birth cert.  Get legal advice.



Quoting HTMommy:

yep you have to document everything. as far as your unborn daughter....dont list him as the father and he doesnt have any rights unless he gives a damn and takes you for paternity. as far as looking good....be careful because that can backfire. get representation and get a suit. look as professional as possible. also you cant get the judge to do anything unless there is a history of it in his past or you have proof and even then you may have a judge that just sees you as being vindictive and not grant anything you want....be careful. regardless of him cheating unless there us proof and a documented background....custody fights can get nasty and dirty fast if he puts up a fight




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kayleeab
by on Mar. 16, 2013 at 5:17 AM
Before I got with him he was on drugs and his new girlfriend is a known EX meth head.
kayleeab
by on Mar. 16, 2013 at 5:20 AM
I don't feel like I'm asking for a lot. Before I got with him he was on drugs. His own mother says he is acting very strange and wont even come around her or talk to her half the time. He has been known to get angry many times witch is why I kicked him out of my house but we were suppose to be going to counseling for it and he was suppose to get anger help. His new girlfriend is a known EX meth head and cheating is not okay. It's wrong for Married man to cheat.
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