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He's going ........

Posted by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 10:27 PM
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 My son is going to boot camp Oct. 3rd. My heart fell to my feet when I got the call from his wife. I knew this day was coming but I am not ready. So now I have to make my self ready. I'm going to need a lot of friends now to help make my days go by when he leaves for boot camp.

Angie

by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 10:27 PM
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2ndtimearoun280
by on Jun. 12, 2009 at 5:48 PM

I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL SWEETIE, AND AS THE DAY GETS CLOSER IT WILL GET EVEN HARDER. I WENT THROUGH THE SAME THING, MY SON FOUND OUT HIS DATE IN JUNE AND LEFT IN OCTOBER. JUST SPEND AS MUCH TIME AS YOU CAN WITH HIM. ENJOY EVERY MINUTE AND IT WILL BE HARD WHEN HE LEAVES. BUT WHEN YOU HEAR HIS VOICE DURING BMT, ALL THE PAIN WILL JUST MELT AWAY. THE AF WILL TAKE GOOD CARE OF HIM AND HE WILL BE A BETTER MAN FOR JOINING.

NatGab
by Member on Jun. 12, 2009 at 6:55 PM

Are you used to seeing him every few days?  If not, then I bet the time will go by much faster than you are fearing. If you are, then I'm sorry, but this is just the beginning.  He is doing something great for himself and his family. After he gets done with his training he could move anywhere in the world.   BMT will seem like nothing.

I don't mean to be rude or disrespectfull in any way, but as a wife with 2 small girls facing my husbands BMT I will tell you this-

It will be MUCH harder for his wife, who will go 2 months without seeing her husband.  It will be even harder for her if they have children.  Harder for her to be a mother all by herself, harder for her when she sees her children sad because daddy isn't there, and there isn't anything she can do about it. Your job will be to support and encourage.  Focus on that, and the his graduation will be here  before you know it.

If he has been married and not living with you for awhile now, it probably won't be as bad as you are thinking.  It sounds like maybe you aren't at peace with his decision to join the AF? 

Mommy to two sweet girls AND



2ndtimearoun280
by on Jun. 14, 2009 at 7:45 PM


Quoting NatGab:


I don't mean to be rude or disrespectfull in any way, but as a wife with 2 small girls facing my husbands BMT I will tell you this-

It will be MUCH harder for his wife, who will go 2 months without seeing her husband.  It will be even harder for her if they have children.  Harder for her to be a mother all by herself, harder for her when she sees her children sad because daddy isn't there, and there isn't anything she can do about it. Your job will be to support and encourage.  Focus on that, and the his graduation will be here  before you know it.

If he has been married and not living with you for awhile now, it probably won't be as bad as you are thinking.  It sounds like maybe you aren't at peace with his decision to join the AF? 

I am sorry but this IS very rude. How can you tell a heart broken mom that she does not miss her boy more than his wife?? When my boy left i was heart broken. He had been with me for the first 18 years of my life and married or not, he is a big part of me. It has nothing to do with not being at peace with his decision. I encouraged my son to go and it still hurt like heck. When a wife has been with her hubby for 18 or more years than she can make these statements!!!

NatGab
by Member on Jun. 14, 2009 at 11:18 PM


Quoting 2ndtimearoun280:


Quoting NatGab:


I don't mean to be rude or disrespectfull in any way, but as a wife with 2 small girls facing my husbands BMT I will tell you this-

It will be MUCH harder for his wife, who will go 2 months without seeing her husband.  It will be even harder for her if they have children.  Harder for her to be a mother all by herself, harder for her when she sees her children sad because daddy isn't there, and there isn't anything she can do about it. Your job will be to support and encourage.  Focus on that, and the his graduation will be here  before you know it.

If he has been married and not living with you for awhile now, it probably won't be as bad as you are thinking.  It sounds like maybe you aren't at peace with his decision to join the AF? 

I am sorry but this IS very rude. How can you tell a heart broken mom that she does not miss her boy more than his wife?? When my boy left i was heart broken. He had been with me for the first 18 years of my life and married or not, he is a big part of me. It has nothing to do with not being at peace with his decision. I encouraged my son to go and it still hurt like heck. When a wife has been with her hubby for 18 or more years than she can make these statements!!!

Like I said I was not being rude.  I was just pointing out that unless she is used to living with him and seeing him everyday, than the time will go by faster than she is fearing, and yes, it will be harder for his wife.  I didn't say that she wouldn't miss him, I said that it would harder on the wife for him to be gone than it will for his mother.

You do not have to be married for 18 years to be as close or closer to your husband than his mother.  A husband and wife have a special connection.  They know each other more intimately and the wife has born his child. The husband and wife are suppoed to be one.  If that is the case, it is like missing a part of yourself.

Mommy to two sweet girls AND



2ndtimearoun280
by on Jun. 15, 2009 at 5:18 PM


Quoting NatGab:


Quoting 2ndtimearoun280:

 

Quoting NatGab:


I don't mean to be rude or disrespectfull in any way, but as a wife with 2 small girls facing my husbands BMT I will tell you this-

It will be MUCH harder for his wife, who will go 2 months without seeing her husband.  It will be even harder for her if they have children.  Harder for her to be a mother all by herself, harder for her when she sees her children sad because daddy isn't there, and there isn't anything she can do about it. Your job will be to support and encourage.  Focus on that, and the his graduation will be here  before you know it.

If he has been married and not living with you for awhile now, it probably won't be as bad as you are thinking.  It sounds like maybe you aren't at peace with his decision to join the AF? 

I am sorry but this IS very rude. How can you tell a heart broken mom that she does not miss her boy more than his wife?? When my boy left i was heart broken. He had been with me for the first 18 years of my life and married or not, he is a big part of me. It has nothing to do with not being at peace with his decision. I encouraged my son to go and it still hurt like heck. When a wife has been with her hubby for 18 or more years than she can make these statements!!!

Like I said I was not being rude.  I was just pointing out that unless she is used to living with him and seeing him everyday, than the time will go by faster than she is fearing, and yes, it will be harder for his wife.  I didn't say that she wouldn't miss him, I said that it would harder on the wife for him to be gone than it will for his mother.

You do not have to be married for 18 years to be as close or closer to your husband than his mother.  A husband and wife have a special connection.  They know each other more intimately and the wife has born his child. The husband and wife are suppoed to be one.  If that is the case, it is like missing a part of yourself.

THERE IS NOTHING THAT COMES CLOSE TO LOVE A MOTHER HAS FOR HER CHILD. WIVES AND HUSBANDS SOMETIMES COME AND GO, A MOTHER IS FOREVER. MY HUBBY IS VERY CLOSE TO HIS MOTHER AND WE ADORE EACHOTHER BUT I WOULD NEVER MAKE A STATEMENT THAT SHE LOVES HIM ANY LESS THAN ME OR WILL MISS HIM ANY LESS THAN ME, THAT IS SELFISH!!!. WHEN A PERSON GETS MARRIED, THE HUBBY AND WIFE BECOME ONE. IT DOES NOT TAKE AWAY FROM THE LOVE  A MOTHER AND CHILD SHARE!!!!

NatGab
by Member on Jun. 15, 2009 at 5:37 PM


THERE IS NOTHING THAT COMES CLOSE TO LOVE A MOTHER HAS FOR HER CHILD. WIVES AND HUSBANDS SOMETIMES COME AND GO, A MOTHER IS FOREVER. MY HUBBY IS VERY CLOSE TO HIS MOTHER AND WE ADORE EACHOTHER BUT I WOULD NEVER MAKE A STATEMENT THAT SHE LOVES HIM ANY LESS THAN ME -Neither did I! OR WILL MISS HIM ANY LESS THAN ME, THAT IS SELFISH!!!. WHEN A PERSON GETS MARRIED, THE HUBBY AND WIFE BECOME ONE. IT DOES NOT TAKE AWAY FROM THE LOVE  A MOTHER AND CHILD SHARE!!!!


There is nothing that comes close to the love a husband and wife share either.  In my marriage husbands and wives do not come and go.

I am a mother.  You do not have to tell me about the love a mother has for her child.  I never said that one loved him more or less than the other.  The love is DIFFERENT.  It will be HARDER for the wife for him to be gone for 2 months than it will be for the mother, because the wife is used to him being there everyday!  (Probably, I don't know their exact situation)  She will miss the  day to day contact, kisses, caresses and having him in the bed next to her at night.  The mother will not miss this.  At least I hope not! 

I NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT THE WIFE LOVING HIM MORE.  ONLY THAT IT WILL BE HARDER FOR HER TO HAVE HIM GONE FOR 2 MONTHS THAN IT IS FOR A MOTHER WHOSE SON HAS ALREADY LEFT HOME.

I was trying to reassure the OP that  the time will probably go by faster than she is fearing.  NOT telling her that she did not love her son.   


Mommy to two sweet girls AND



TopGunsMom
by Member on Jun. 16, 2009 at 11:38 AM

Ya know....I just finished reading these posts......& I really don't understand why there have to e "degrees" of difficulty in being either an Air Force Wife or an Air Force Mommy.  Each one of us have played key, major roles in our new Airman's life.  Yes, it will be extremely difficult to be a wife with children who doesn't have her husband there with her....and those little ones will miss their Daddy terribly......but please don't take away from a Mother......who since her son (or daughter) was in the womb, she nurtured, protected & saw to it that all his needs were taken care of.  Now she has to literally place his life in the hands of someone else.  It doesn't make any difference how old he is......how much time she has spent away from him......or how far away he is. Our hearts break into a thousand when he walks out that door headed for BMT.  There is a huge difference in the roles played out by parents, spouses & children.  But that doesn't make one of them anymore vital than another one.  Please put yourself in the position of 20+ years from today, & when you look at your little babies laughing & playing......imagine them on their bellies, crawling on the ground, just to survive.  None of us has a position here that is easier or harder than the other one.

Now that said, I truly feel every ounce of pain, fear & apprehension you are going through now.  My son enlisted last March & left 4 days before Thanksgiving for BMT.  That put every major holiday for him alone.  Knowing that he was by himself was much harder for me than knowing he wasn't going to be here with me.  The day he left was the one of the 2 most hopeless days in my entire life.....the other one was in 2000 when my only daughter walked out the door for the Coast Guard.....so I've been through this twice.  He graduated from BMT in January & immediately went to tech school at Sheppard.  Seeing him at that graduation was phenomenal! He then went to tech school at Sheppard, & graduated May 25....me & my husband drove 1300 miles to watch that!  He is now at Luke in Glendale AZ for 4 weeks & thank God above he has done remarkably well.....graduated from Sheppard with a 93%!  He will be home for the first time since he left on July 4th........his 22nd birthday!  Then it's off to his duty station in Florida.  So as Moms, yes we do survive......I must have missed the section of life where I got a choice!!HaHa!  So you hang in there......laugh with him, cry with him....& say a lot of prayers!  I found myself every single day waiting for the next one to pass.....realizing all the while that I was totally wishing my life away, as well as his.  This is a wonderful place to get support from Mom's who have been right there.  You always have my shoulder to lean on.....& you have earned the right as his mother to feel every single ounce of pain.....& pride you are going to feel.  My best to you & your son........he is already an awesome man simply for making the decision to defend his country!

And as I said earlier.......there are no degrees of relevance here.

sharen64
by Member on Jun. 17, 2009 at 9:02 AM

TopGunsmom,

Well said my friend. I too am a mom of an Airman, my daughter has been in for a year now stationed at Travis in California. I couldn't breathe for days after she left, and when she comes home for visits, I still cry when she leaves. THERE IS NO LOVE LIKE THAT OF A MOTHER FOR HER CHILD.

breezy2005
by Member on Jun. 22, 2009 at 5:54 AM

You are RUDE AS HELL....How can you tell me I will not miss my son as much because I am his mother? You have really explained to me what kind of mother you are.

I walked around for 9 months with my son inside me close to my heart, and then I have watched him for the last 21 1/2 years grow into a very good young man. His wife has only been around for 3 little years. But you think just because I am his mother I would care less?

You do not understand the love of a child at all if you think this. A wife can be replaced at any time, but your mother will always be your mother no matter what happens.

And I am very much at peace with my son going into the Air Force. The day he told me he was going I told him then I was not crazy about it but I am his mother and I would stand by his side with what he wanted to do for his self and his family.

When you have kids and they are grown and they tell you that they are leaving for the Air Force are what ever, just remember what you said to me. Until you have walked in my shoes don't NEVER tell me how I will not miss my son as much as his wife because if you think this you are thinking Very wrong.

 

Quoting NatGab:

Are you used to seeing him every few days?  If not, then I bet the time will go by much faster than you are fearing. If you are, then I'm sorry, but this is just the beginning.  He is doing something great for himself and his family. After he gets done with his training he could move anywhere in the world.   BMT will seem like nothing.

I don't mean to be rude or disrespectfull in any way, but as a wife with 2 small girls facing my husbands BMT I will tell you this-

It will be MUCH harder for his wife, who will go 2 months without seeing her husband.  It will be even harder for her if they have children.  Harder for her to be a mother all by herself, harder for her when she sees her children sad because daddy isn't there, and there isn't anything she can do about it. Your job will be to support and encourage.  Focus on that, and the his graduation will be here  before you know it.

If he has been married and not living with you for awhile now, it probably won't be as bad as you are thinking.  It sounds like maybe you aren't at peace with his decision to join the AF? 


breezy2005
by Member on Jun. 22, 2009 at 6:02 AM

 

Like I said I was not being rude.  I was just pointing out that unless she is used to living with him and seeing him everyday, than the time will go by faster than she is fearing, and yes, it will be harder for his wife.  I didn't say that she wouldn't miss him, I said that it would harder on the wife for him to be gone than it will for his mother.

You do not have to be married for 18 years to be as close or closer to your husband than his mother.  A husband and wife have a special connection. There is no greater connection than a mother & child.They know each other more intimately and the wife has born his child. That my be true, but it is still the mother who gave this child life and showed this child how to love a person and to be good to people.The husband and wife are suppoed to be one. Husband & wife are supposed to be one, but that mother will always be there no matter what happens. Meaning there are so many husband's & wives who divorce every day but that mother never divorce's her child when things are bad. She is always there and will always love her child.  If that is the case, it is like missing a part of yourself.

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