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How do you discipline your kids?

Posted by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 3:45 PM
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I have an 11 year old, a 9 year old and a 3 year old. My 11 year old is not usually getting into to much trouble but when he does I can usually take away the computer or video games from him and he doesn't like it but my 9 year old doesn't care about that so I started giving him major chores to do and he hates that. I have a real problem with him and lying. My 3 year old I either swat her or put her in time out which she can't stand.

How do you discipline? Do you time-out? Do you believe in spanking?

by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 3:45 PM
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by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 3:52 PM

I know spankings is a controversial topic and although I swore I would never spank my kids..........I do spank. My kids are 3 and 4 and there are times when nothing else works. When they won't sit in a time out no matter what you do or when they are really having a meltdown...........a good swat on the butt will get my kids attention EVERYTIME!!! So I do spank....but it's ALWAYS as a last resort. And as they are getting older I use it less and less. Mostly they get time outs or they lose privileges or toys. I try to make the punishment fit the crime whenever I can.

by on Sep. 29, 2010 at 12:33 AM

I don't believe in spanking.

I believe clear communication on what you expect and what is not okay. I believe in contracts that help create the behaviors that you want, time outs, rewarding and recognizing good behavior when it happens, enforcing consequence (nature when possible) if behavior isn't acceptable.

I think a framework of strong, consistently enforced, but few, limits and lot's of freedom within that framework is essential.

I also believe keeping your cool as the adult and parent is important.

The follow resources have helped me as well.

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk

The Five Love Language for Kids (and/or teens)


Teen Proofing by John Rosemond <excerpt>

Perspective Principles

1.Be assured you are a responsible parent.  Otherwise you wouldn't be bothering to read this book and so on.

2.Teens can do bad things, (even things you never find out about) and still turn out okay.

3.You are not the only force in your child's life.

4.You can do the right thing and things may still go wrong.

The First Great Understanding for children 2-8

1.From this point on in the relationship, you, child, will pay more attention to us than we, generally speaking, will pay to you.

Parents continue to supervise the child well.  They will give him all the attention he requires (which is diminishing rapidly) along with a relatively small amount of the attention the child just wants.  You are now the teacher and he is not the student so he must be taught to pay attention to you, not the other way around.

2.You will do whatever we tell you to do.

He can disagree and not like it but he must obey.

3.You will do what we say not because of threat, bribe etc., but simply because we say so.

The second great understanding for kids 8-12

1.You, child, are completely responsible for the choices you make.

2.If you make bad choices, bad things will happen, not always right away, mind you, but sooner or later

3.If you make good choices, bad things are less likely to happen.

Additional tips for parents

1.Don't try to micromanage your tween-teen

2.Control freaks are never in control.

3.Mentor parents realize that they can't control the kid, only t


My kids are teens. This has worked really well for us.

by on Sep. 29, 2010 at 8:21 AM

we usually do time outs or take things away she likes.. we have spanked but she is 5 and we dont do that to often now

by on Oct. 1, 2010 at 7:25 PM

I don't really have many problems with them. They are 11 and 14 y/o girls. They do not get TV or computer during the week. So those things on the weekends is huge, if they fight with one another they simply lose weekend fun. Its very simple. Respect goes both ways.

by on Oct. 29, 2010 at 10:28 PM

 Beings my son is 3 he has his moments, if he really has me frazzeled I try to stay calm and talk to him but its hard talking to a child that is just yelling leave me alone and you are trying to just be there to understand what is going on. Its hard to give him chores because he loves doing them at the moment haha..I give time outs and he knows I mean business then or we take a toy from him, he will forget about them and the other day he asked for his car garage back, it was a few months that he has not had it..He earned it back but other than that I really try hard not to spank unless it is a last resort.

by on Oct. 30, 2010 at 6:12 PM

my son is 9 and he also has a problem with lying and not listening.  He also recently got in trouble for school for saying something inappropriate without thinking about the consequences first.  Usually taking away the tv and video games and making him do chores is enough but occassionally a spanking is necessary.  Our daughter is 4 and with her spankings, timeouts and taking away things don't work so we are having a harder time with her.  Any suggestions on something else I might do with her?

by on Oct. 31, 2010 at 9:40 AM

My son is 3 and autistic so we do alotta timeouts .We dont believe in spankings and only us ethat as a last resort

by on May. 13, 2011 at 10:02 PM


by on May. 13, 2011 at 10:18 PM

 I dont believe in spanking for my kid. We use time outs.. that dont mean to say that I havnt seen kids that grew up being spanked and turned out just fine. I am the only one in my family with my view point on punishments..

by on May. 30, 2011 at 3:45 AM


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