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new to being a parent...

Posted by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 9:42 AM
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I'm 35 weeks pregnant and curious about what others would do in this situation:

My fiance has a 4 year old with his previous gf that we get every other week.  While he is at work, I am the one taking care of her.  Although her biological mother and I do not see eye to eye on parenting and rules, I do my best making sure the transition is as smooth as possible for the 4 year old.  Her father and I are very set in our ways about how certain things should be, and what rules are absolutely neccessary. However, the little girl still refuses to listen when he is at work and tells me all the time that her mother said she doesnt have to listen to me.

This is where my question comes in:  When the new baby is born, how am I supposed to enforce rules with him when the four year old comes home every other week and completely ignores me? Any parents/setp-parents have advice that might help me out here?


pregnancy calendar

by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 9:42 AM
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Replies (1-2):
Joesy
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 11:40 AM

I so understand. My son is just over a year and my stepson is 14. Same thing every other week and enforcing just basic rules are hard. With your step daughter being younger it will probably be worse if Dad does not step up to the plate and lay the law down to respect and listen to you. My husband has fortunately done this, but when Dad does not want to do chores there's no way to get step son to do anything. You have a unfortunately difficult road ahead. You and Dad need to be a team and agree on how you want both children to behave in the house. It was hard for me in the first few months after my son was born, anxieties ran high and first time mom and baby was enough to handle, but more was frustrating. Good luck and stay strong things will change and you have a few years to work on her before your boy starts picking up on things. Congrats on your son...

SammysMama88
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 3:47 PM

Dad is very good about enforcing the rules when he is home, and is constantly telling her that when she is here she has to listen to both me and him. If it weren't for his support, I probably would have gone crazy by now lol. Its almost like having a teenager though, the way she walks all over me as soon as her daddy leaves the house. Thank you for your post, it's really nice knowing I'm not alone in this. 

Quoting Joesy:

I so understand. My son is just over a year and my stepson is 14. Same thing every other week and enforcing just basic rules are hard. With your step daughter being younger it will probably be worse if Dad does not step up to the plate and lay the law down to respect and listen to you. My husband has fortunately done this, but when Dad does not want to do chores there's no way to get step son to do anything. You have a unfortunately difficult road ahead. You and Dad need to be a team and agree on how you want both children to behave in the house. It was hard for me in the first few months after my son was born, anxieties ran high and first time mom and baby was enough to handle, but more was frustrating. Good luck and stay strong things will change and you have a few years to work on her before your boy starts picking up on things. Congrats on your son...


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