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First Time Mom In Need of Support

Posted by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 11:52 PM
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Hello! My name is Ashley. I am a first time mom. I have been married to my husband for 3 years as of this December. I am currently 15 weeks pregnant with a little girl. Her name is Cora. We are having fun trying to figure out her middle name still. :)

There are so many emotions going on that it's incredible. My husband and I are so excited to have our first baby. She was planned...sort of. We decided to start trying with the expectation that it would take awhile for it to happen..but apparently we are very fertile and I got pregnant on our first try. Which I don't regret at all, but needless to say it has already completely impacted my life. I had to leave my job and my college classes because I have hyperemesis.

To make things all the more complicated, I have bipolar disorder so my pregnancy hormones are creating some really crazy mood swings. The odd part is that all my mood swings are sad. I don't really get the excited, happy feeling. But I can't really figure out why I am so sad. I miss my husband a lot and it seems like I am always lonely, but I prefer to be alone because I feel like I don't have the right to complain. Both of my sisters had really hard, scary and sad pregnancies. My pregnancy is going well so far so I feel wrong complaining about the ailments that are a part of it. Another issue is that I know that what I am feeling is normal and I should be thankful that everything is going perfectly so far, but i just feel so down in the dumps that it's hard to feel thankful.

I know that I sound whiny, but I am just wondering if anyone else is feeling the same way that I am. I look forward to getting to know some of you wonderful women and sharing some of my life with you. Thank you for taking time to read my first post.

by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 11:52 PM
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Replies (1-6):
doulala
by Bronze Member on Dec. 4, 2011 at 1:45 AM

 

There is a lot of sadness in pregnancy anyhow, so you are definitely not alone.
What are you doing to prepare for birth and for Motherhood?
Do you have good prenatal care, labor support, postpartum help?   What about a new mom's group?

  ~Glad you are here!
;-)

 

Birth is not only about making babies. Birth is about making mothers ~ strong, competent, capable mothers who trust themselves and know their inner strength.

~Barbara Katz Rothma


When you change the way you view birth, the way you birth will change. -Mongan


ConnorMom228
by on Dec. 4, 2011 at 4:41 AM
Hormones do crazy things to your emotions. If you know you have no reason to be sad, logically, then maybe just try accepting that you feel this way, and it's ok to be overwhelmed. Then, think about something that excites you about your pregnancy. Whether its shopping for cute outfits, decorating, or finally holding your baby. Focus on the positives.

Congrats on your baby!
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625Patty
by Patty on Dec. 4, 2011 at 5:37 AM
I agree 100% if I don't feel like you shouldn't be complaining we all went through this or are going through this pregnancy can be hard physically and mentally as well

Quoting ConnorMom228:

Hormones do crazy things to your emotions. If you know you have no reason to be sad, logically, then maybe just try accepting that you feel this way, and it's ok to be overwhelmed. Then, think about something that excites you about your pregnancy. Whether its shopping for cute outfits, decorating, or finally holding your baby. Focus on the positives.



Congrats on your baby!
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arj767s
by Ashley on Dec. 4, 2011 at 5:50 AM
Yes! Focus on the positives. I found the hormones themselves to be overwhelming and I got depressed for a little while because things were changing really fast and I didn't feel like I could keep up. I also hated that I was no longer in control and I felt useless. My husband had to sit me down one night and remind me to focus on the positives. He told me that I needed to shift my focus into getting things ready for our baby's arrival, read books to prepare, and generally focus on the outcome instead of how I was feeling at that particular time. That helped sooo much because, when I envisioned the outcome, I no longer felt it was passing me by. The hormones are crazy and hard to handle. When you get that way, just step back, breathe, and re-group. Take a warm bath of that would help. I feel ya mama. I had a hormonal pregnancy. Sometimes I think I would've rather had the morning sickness instead. ;)

CM really helped me feel less alone. Everyone here understands, so we are all here for you.


Quoting ConnorMom228:

Hormones do crazy things to your emotions. If you know you have no reason to be sad, logically, then maybe just try accepting that you feel this way, and it's ok to be overwhelmed. Then, think about something that excites you about your pregnancy. Whether its shopping for cute outfits, decorating, or finally holding your baby. Focus on the positives.



Congrats on your baby!
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MomToovey
by Marianne - Admin on Dec. 4, 2011 at 4:56 PM
1 mom liked this

 You are definitely not alone momma. I think all of us go through this to at least some extent during our pregnancies. I found it so frustrating too, because in my case - I always knew when my negative emotions were unnecessary but I couldn't do anything to change it. So here I was being an emotional pregnant lady, aware that I was an emotional pregnant lady, and frustrated because I couldn't change it! I think that was actually my least favorite part about pregnancy. I can certainly understand your frustration with it as well. And since so much has changed so fast for you, it's to be expected that you're going to be on quite the emotional roller coaster.

I know you have your husband, are there other people (family or friends) nearby who can come over frequently to give you company, get you out of the house, etc? I found that surrounding myself with people who cared about me helped the most when I was feeling the worst. It was hard because we had just moved 3,000 miles away from our friends and family - I felt very alone, but this site helped a lot. And we are here for you if you need us!

Congratulations, and good luck!

babydoll845
by New Member on Dec. 4, 2011 at 5:05 PM
I did when I was pregnant I was happy and then sad because i was scared it was all brand new, mostly happy and super stressed i worried about everything if i just relaxed it would have made it so much better!
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