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"my" baby

Posted by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 1:19 PM
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I am trying to figure out why it gets so under my skin when my MIL and sitter say "my" baby.. "my" girl etc. I tried to explain it to my husband. To me "my" means shows possession. I am never asked I am told "let me hold her". I always do but good gosh it messes with my mind. I want to say she is our baby - not just yours. I know it is not meant in a bad way just terms of endearment. And I can't say a thing about how it messes with me because I have a super emotional charged family on my husbands side. My MIL gets super jealous and ignores any time I talk about my mom and dad and also when I talk about my sister. My sister just has a baby too. I think she may be jealous of the relationship they will have. My MIL lives 15 min away, my sis and parents live 2 hours away, and my mom is disabled and can't sit my daughter like she does. My MIL is also a full time mom to her grankid of my SIL. So I always feel like she is playing mommy to my daughter. I am mommy, my baby was in the hospital for 2 months. And when she came home finally from the hospital, my MIL wanted to be there for the homecoming. We told her we just wanted to to be us, so we can get our experience in a bit. She threw the biggest fit and it got ugly. With talking this got resolved, but my MIL intimidates me. She is very vocal and opinionated where I am laid back.

I want to say something to her about the "my" thing, but I know she will be pissed off. So when we are with her I let her play mommy while I stay far way so I don't say anything mean.
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by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 1:19 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Ludvik_Smith
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 1:37 PM

I understand why this would upset you. I hear lots of stories about controlling or overly-possesive MILs. It bothers me, but my advice is, choose your battles. Let the "my" thing go...your baby knows your the mommy and so do you. 

625Patty
by Patty on Jan. 15, 2012 at 2:09 PM
It was like reading about my life when I read your post my mil is exactly the same way ugh but I agree with pp pick your battles let the my thing ask slid my mil says it to and it makes me want to slap her it gets so under my skin but I let that slid. Only because there is so much we disagree on already.
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C8Baxter
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 2:13 PM
Doesn't bug me. I know he's my baby. Plus, I try to make it my goal not to get worked up over anything so unimportant. And I'm capable of stating "no" when someone says "give him to me." I tend to opt not to since I hold him 95% of every day and am usually thrilled someone else wants to hold him, lol.

Your MIL sounds like an immature toddler throwing temper tantrums when she doesn't get her way. Which would explain why she thinks everything is Mine mine mine. ;)
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arj767s
by Ashley on Jan. 15, 2012 at 3:48 PM
I understand things like that getting under your skin. It doesn't bother me but my mom has started calling him "her" peanut. That MY nickname for him. Mine. I told her though so now she sticks to "my little man" which is better I guess.

I hate when he's crying and fighting sleep and people go "is your mama not feeding you enough?" I know it's a joke but it gets under my skin. He's breastfed and I don't/won't do cereal. They think that because he's 6.5 months and breastfed that he should be eating three meals a day. I have him eating one and I'm doing baby led solids in the evenings. They think I should feed him more. So, it gets on my nerves when they joke about him being hungry.
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mishlerdr24
by Bronze Member on Jan. 15, 2012 at 3:58 PM

Oh my word!!!! I feel like I am reading the same thing that I've been needing to write about my MIL!  She does the exact same thing to me!!!!! Always voices her opinion and if you don't like it watch out! And she only does things for us if it's convient for her! So I totally understand how you feel and I wish I could tell you what to do but I am in the same boat as you!!!! Good Luck Momma!


happie_mommie14
by New Member on Jan. 15, 2012 at 4:20 PM

 i would let it go, but if u try n u cant... then maybe have your hubby say something to his mom. He has had to deal with her his whole life n I'm sure he knows how to tell her things a certain way that wont offend her so much.

Quoting Ludvik_Smith:

I understand why this would upset you. I hear lots of stories about controlling or overly-possesive MILs. It bothers me, but my advice is, choose your battles. Let the "my" thing go...your baby knows your the mommy and so do you. 

 

MomToovey
by Marianne - Admin on Jan. 15, 2012 at 4:44 PM

 I agree with the other PPs, I certainly understand this upsetting you, but from the information you've given us, it doesn't sound worth it to say anything. Yes, it's annoying, but try to let this one go. Your baby knows who's mommy and that's all that matters. Sorry, and good luck!

TXSouthernGrace
by Member on Jan. 16, 2012 at 11:14 AM
Thanks for the comments- I bite my lip a lot. And sometimes just walk away and take a deep breath and back to it. It was great venting here and my sweet husband not having to hear it. Its funny when u become a momma how ur Momma instincts kick in. I keep telling myself , just remember this for my oldest boy that is 13. When he gets married and has a baby of theirs I will pick my words carefully and be understanding to his wife's needs too. So good things can come of this. :) thanks again-
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Ludvik_Smith
by on Jan. 16, 2012 at 11:21 AM
1 mom liked this

That's a great attitude to have and I believe that 100% that you can learn from other people's mistakes. Now you know how NOT to act when you have a grandchild :) 

Quoting TXSouthernGrace:

Thanks for the comments- I bite my lip a lot. And sometimes just walk away and take a deep breath and back to it. It was great venting here and my sweet husband not having to hear it. Its funny when u become a momma how ur Momma instincts kick in. I keep telling myself , just remember this for my oldest boy that is 13. When he gets married and has a baby of theirs I will pick my words carefully and be understanding to his wife's needs too. So good things can come of this. :) thanks again-

 

jbearr
by Member on Jan. 16, 2012 at 12:39 PM
My bf mom can b overbearing but she isn't mean. She does it on a sweet passive aggressive way. So I kinda understand what u r dealing with. I say pick ur battles, there will b bigger problems in the future.
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