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Older mamas

Posted by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 10:20 AM
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Older being over 25. How old were you (or will you be) when you had your LO? What made you wait to have a child? Was it incidental or planned? How do you feel your life is different because you waited? Was there pressure from family or friends to start younger? How old will you be when your LO is 18? Would you do anything different?

There are stereotypes for both young and older moms. What is nice about cm is that we can break through these stereotypes. It's great that we can give each other a window into the "other side" so to speak!
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by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 10:20 AM
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Replies (1-10):
arj767s
by Ashley on Feb. 12, 2012 at 10:29 AM
I had TJ at 27. My family nagged me for years to start a family. DH and I met in 2002 and got married in 2006. We just didn't feel ready for a child until around 2009. We TTC'd for a while with no luck. I started to feel broken. He was deployed during the summer of 2010. When he got back in September we hadn't start to TTC again yet when we found out I was pregnant. It was such a shock but exciting nonetheless. I guess I was about to give up. It's draining to continue to try and fail. Anyway, we are glad we were able to have our time together before having a child. I feel like our relationship is stronger because we could focus on it. We are also in a better financial position than we were in before. It's still a struggle at times but I'm not worried about going hungry. I'm happy with how everything turned out. It does suck that we will be almost 50 by the time he's out of the house, but I still don't think I'd have it any other way.
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schadtzen
by Member on Feb. 12, 2012 at 10:36 AM
Had my ds at twenty five i turned twenty six three weeks later. He was actually due on my birthday he came early was only 4 lbs bringing him home. I was very sick with hyperemesis so i rarely ate and coulda miscarried many times. He was not planned nor prevented. We both thought we couldn't conceive and it took five years. And now ds is almost two and we r getting divorced... Maybe god blessed me with ds now so i don't have to live a childless life. I always wanted a baby so im lucky. Ya know, just incase i never conceive again.. I wish i hadn't got married but my son wouldn't be here if i didn't. Ill be 44 when he is 18 that's not too bad...... I know my life would be outa control had i not settled down to get married so im happy for that..
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KelliansMom
by Darbie - Head Admin on Feb. 12, 2012 at 10:42 AM
I was 25 wheny son was born he was half planned half not ...we had tried for a month but when hubby had not heard about a job he interviewed with me stop trying but had a few slip ups we found out I was pregnant and he got the job all in the same week. I'm glad I had waited. I had a scare at 19 and it would not have been a good thing at all I was not ready then.
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syoumans77
by Stephanie on Feb. 12, 2012 at 10:44 AM

I had Sammie a week after my 33rd birthday.  She is 13 months now.  DH and I met and got married in 2009.  I never planned on having any children, but also never thought I'd get married.  My family did not pressure me at all, if anything they didn't want our marriage to last let alone have a child.  I wouldn't change having her for anything in the world.  She is everything to me now.  I never thought I'd love someone as much as I love her.  She was kind of planned, but kind of not.  I went of BC but never expected to get pregnant within 2 weeks of coming off it.  I will be 51 when she turns 18.  I wouldn't do anything different because if I did, I wouldn't have her.  She wouldn't be who she is...everything happens for a reason.

tnunley
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 11:34 AM
I had infertility issues for the first 12 years of our marriage. I think all of the trials of failed conception, A.I., etc. has brought us closer together. It was nice doing "couple" things, like long vacations, traveling etc. Then I had wt. loss surgery and I was finally able to conceive, at the ripe 'ole age of 34! I am now pg with my second, both kids will be 18mo apart. I was nice being childless for a while, but difficult because I did want kids right away (I was 22 when I got married). On the other hand, we are both secure in our jobs now and I will be able to stay at home after Evan is born, which I don't think we would have been able to do when we were younger.

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tnunley
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 11:39 AM
Oh, and I will be 52 when the first one turns 18 and dh will be 57. We are still considering having a third, we will truely be old parents! lol

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ConnorMom228
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 11:41 AM
I was 26 when I found out. It was an accident. But I don't regret it. I wanted to be married first, but oh well. I will be soon :-) I was on BC for a long time because I wanted to be financially secure and have a good man in my life. I'm definitely glad that I waited. I have a good career, a good man, who also has a good career, and still going to school to do more. I can provide my son with whatever he needs and not have to worry about where the money for it will come from. I'm proud of my life.
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Ludvik_Smith
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 3:02 PM

I was 25 when I got pregnant and 26 when I had our daughter.

DH and I were not married yet but had been together for 5 years before getting pregnant. She wasn't planned but we were not using protection for about 3 months so we weren't surprised.

My family never pressured me to get married or have a baby. In fact, after getting married many of them said to me they thought I'd never get married and start a family, they said they thought I was just too independent, which was kind of true when I was younger.

When I was a young stupid teenager I had these crazy ideas of getting pregnant at 16 and being a single mom. I thought that is what I wanted but I know now that those feelings were just a product of an unhappy home life and it would have been terrible if I would've had a baby at 16 just simply because I was not mature (no matter how mature you think you are at 16).

As I got older I started to wonder if I really wanted kids at all...the thought of raising a human scared me! But when we found out we were having a baby we were both very happy. And we are very happy now. We are both happy with our age, we will be 44 & 45 when she is 18 and we are both happy with where we are in life right now. We are not extrememly wealthy, but we can provide a comfortable life for our daughter now...the future is a little more laid out in front of us now whereas 5 years ago it was all still uncertain.

I wouldn't have done anything differently...it's funny how life works out like that sometimes :)

MomToovey
by Marianne - Admin on Feb. 12, 2012 at 4:37 PM

 LOL @ 25 being "older"!! I know what you mean, but it still made me giggle - I refuse to believe I'm old! :)

I actually had just turned 25 a little more than a week before having my daughter. What made us wait? Well, DH and I both knew we wanted to be married before having kids and it was originally our plan to wait 5 years or so before getting started. I was 23 when we got married and I had every intention of reveling in my relationship for a few years before bringing someone else into it. But after being married for only 6 months, my DH told me he was ready to have kids. And after a week of discussing it, he finally got me on board too! So late one night, we sat down and planned everything out and we decided that 5 months from then, we'd begin trying. DD was planned.

I'm glad we waited for at least as long as we did. I know who I was in high school and there's no way I would have been ready for a child then. If I had gotten pregnant any time after high school, I think I would have been able to handle it better, but I doubt I would have had the discipline to finish college, let alone get 2 degrees, and if I had gotten pregnant before meeting/dating DH, I wouldn't be with him now. And he is the single-most wonderful man in the world. :) If I had gotten pregnant while dating DH but before we were married, all that would have changed would be our wedding date. We would have gotten married before baby came. This is something I thought about when we were engaged, and I figured we'd probably do a Justice of the Peace deal with family, and after baby was born, do a big reception with friends and family - so I could wear the dress I got! LOL. But having that year or marriage first before getting pregnant was nice, because we were still able to learn a lot about each other and ourselves before bringing someone else into the world that we'd have to figure out!

There was definitely no pressure from friends or family to start sooner. I come from a very religious family and they definitely wanted me to be married before getting pregnant! However, once I got married, my mom was ready for grandchildren!

I'll be 43 when she's 18.

No, I definitely wouldn't do anything different. I often wonder sometimes what life would be like if DH and I followed our original plan to wait 5 years and me only just now having our first child. Not in a sense that I wish we had done it that way, just more of an "I'm bored so I'm going to play the 'What If' game" deal. And I'm really glad we decided to have kids earlier than planned, and I love my daughter to pieces! If we had waited, we wouldn't have had her!

(Sorry that was SOOOOO long!)

cabrandy03
by Brandy - Group Owner on Feb. 12, 2012 at 7:22 PM
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I had my dd at 25. 

personally I feel it was the perfect age!  I'm still pretty young and in good shape...I'll be able to play sports and be real active with my daughter, but old enough to be married and established in life.

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