Dad Dilemma

[Jayleareid]

I stay home with my almost 4 week old daughter and my husband works full time. He tries and spends the evenings with her, but it always ends with her bawling hysterically and him not really having any idea what to do to comfort her.

I'm trying to hold my tongue and let him figure it out on his own, but it's tough when I hear her cry and know exactly what to do.

He's afraid she's never going to get used to him and I'm sure his confidence isn't great right now because of it.

Any advice?

[KelliansMom]

He will get it figured out. She spends all day with you so she is used to you. She will also go through a phase where daddy is all she will want. My son and husband went through the same thing. I found giving him little suggestions helped him learn what works and with something's he would do something different that worked just as well.

[arj767s]

Agreed. If he gets frustrated I would just say, "Try _______. Sometimes that works." They both will learn each other. Just give it time.

Quoting KelliansMom:

He will get it figured out. She spends all day with you so she is used to you. She will also go through a phase where daddy is all she will want. My son and husband went through the same thing. I found giving him little suggestions helped him learn what works and with something's he would do something different that worked just as well.

[MomToovey]

 Don't be afraid to help him along. Be careful in your delivery, of course, you don't want him to think that you think he can't handle it, but offer him some suggestions to try and see if they work. He will eventually learn to take care of her on his own, but we all learn somewhere.

I had a similar problem with my DH. I was so afraid to tell him what to do because I thought he'd think I didn't think he could do it. But at the end of the day, he couldn't, and he needed guidance. Finally, one night after a particularly frustrating evening, he yelled at me to help him because he couldn't do it. If I had just helped him from the start, it never would have escalated like that.

And now she's daddy's little girl, so it all worked out well in the end!

[Jayleareid]

Thanks everyone! Things are getting easier. Last night, when he was feeding her, I was giving him tons of suggestions and he was really happy to have them. We talked about how I just have that intuitive nature of knowing what she's going to need or do before she even does it, and how he knows that and is jealous he doesn't have it. But wants to spend as much time as he can trying to build that up (if that makes sense). All will work out in the end, right?! Thanks for your suggestions!