How did you know?

[fancyco]

How did you know you were ready to start a family?  Did you plan it out or did it just happen?

This time last year I had baby fever, and then I was diagnosed with cancer.  Now that I am finished with treatments, my oncologist is encouraging me to start trying for a baby.  I feel like I need a few months to myself and free of doctors!!!  Besides that, I have other thoughts because I know life will never be the same.

Am I the only one who is so indecisive?

[KelliansMom]

My husband is having those feelings sort of right now, we are two years out from fighting cancer. I knew I wanted a child three years ago, but really after a month of trying we stop trying. Bc his job hadn't come through and we knew we couldn't afford it. But we had a few slip ups and bam found out we were pregnant and he got the job all on the same day.

[fancyco]

Quoting KelliansMom:

My husband is having those feelings sort of right now, we are two years out from fighting cancer. I knew I wanted a child three years ago, but really after a month of trying we stop trying. Bc his job hadn't come through and we knew we couldn't afford it. But we had a few slip ups and bam found out we were pregnant and he got the job all on the same day.

Thanks for the reply.  I'm glad I'm not the only one.  My chemo was supposedly gentle on the repro system so I am hoping we won't have trouble...but if we do, I'm not sure I'm ready to face it right now.  I lost my full time job in the process, but it turns out I am really liking the flexibility of being per diem.  We're on our feet again, so to speak so timing would seem to be perfect.  

[KelliansMom]

We are not sure if his chemo killed all that off or not :( its pretty much a 50/50 chance it seems but we have met many with the same treatment that all had kids later on so there is hope.

Quoting fancyco:

Quoting KelliansMom:

My husband is having those feelings sort of right now, we are two years out from fighting cancer. I knew I wanted a child three years ago, but really after a month of trying we stop trying. Bc his job hadn't come through and we knew we couldn't afford it. But we had a few slip ups and bam found out we were pregnant and he got the job all on the same day.

Thanks for the reply.  I'm glad I'm not the only one.  My chemo was supposedly gentle on the repro system so I am hoping we won't have trouble...but if we do, I'm not sure I'm ready to face it right now.  I lost my full time job in the process, but it turns out I am really liking the flexibility of being per diem.  We're on our feet again, so to speak so timing would seem to be perfect.  

[fancyco]

Quoting KelliansMom:

We are not sure if his chemo killed all that off or not :( its pretty much a 50/50 chance it seems but we have met many with the same treatment that all had kids later on so there is hope.

That's encouraging.  I guess you never know until your try.  My sister went through premature ovarian failure, so I kind of feel like there is pressure on me for grandbabies.  

[KelliansMom]

We have learned babies come to you in many forms :). When his job starts keeping him home more we will try but adoption is also on our list too.

Quoting fancyco:

Quoting KelliansMom:

We are not sure if his chemo killed all that off or not :( its pretty much a 50/50 chance it seems but we have met many with the same treatment that all had kids later on so there is hope.

That's encouraging.  I guess you never know until your try.  My sister went through premature ovarian failure, so I kind of feel like there is pressure on me for grandbabies.  

[fancyco]

Quoting KelliansMom:

We have learned babies come to you in many forms :). When his job starts keeping him home more we will try but adoption is also on our list too.

Oh definitely on ours too.  I went to a fertility specialist before treatment but it was too late to do anything.  The only option was some risky expensive one that had like a 1% chance of being successful.  We decided then that we would rather adopt than go through all of that.  

Nice chatting with someone my age who has had to deal with this!

[KelliansMom]

Our welcome :). We didn't have enough time between finding out about his cancer and the start of treatment to even bank anythin :( we also would not have bee able to afford it since he had to stop working so much during treatments. I also don't handle large amounts I artificial hormones so using frozen sperm might not have work to well either.

Quoting fancyco:

Quoting KelliansMom:

We have learned babies come to you in many forms :). When his job starts keeping him home more we will try but adoption is also on our list too.

Oh definitely on ours too.  I went to a fertility specialist before treatment but it was too late to do anything.  The only option was some risky expensive one that had like a 1% chance of being successful.  We decided then that we would rather adopt than go through all of that.  

Nice chatting with someone my age who has had to deal with this!

[Aidensmommy92]

 Well me and my hubby werent trying but we werent using protection so it was kind of like if it happens it happens:)

[Ludvik_Smith]

Before getting pregnant I didn't think I wanted kids...not that I don't like kids, just the thought of the responsibility for a tiny human life is scary!

Then we got pregnant...weren't trying, but weren't using protection either so, that's what happens!

Now we want another. We love being parents and I'd never take it back.

You try when you're ready, there's nothing wrong with waiting, it IS life-changing and you're never going to be 100% prepared and ready, but it is wonderful :)

[fancyco]

Thanks everyone for the replies.  I'm such a planner and sometimes I just have to realize that everything is not always going to be "perfect".  I think I'll give my body a break and then maybe start trying the end of this year.  We'll see :)