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i feel like a horrible mom..

Posted by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 4:57 PM
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For actually wanting to make the baby sleep in her own bed. My baby girl is 3 months today. I'm breastfeeding and have been co-sleeping since day one but I am ready to start putting her in her own bed. I've tried putting her in there for naps but she screams until she makes herself sick. I do go get her, comfort her, then put her back down but its the same thing over and over. My question is, how am I supposed to get her used to her own bed without letting her cry it out?? I hate hearing her cry "that cry"! It breaks my heart but so many other moms have said it's the only way to get herused to it. Is that true? Is it too late? Co-sleeping while breastfeeding is definitely easier but I'm not getting any sleep. Mainly because I'm not comfortable. We have a queen sized bed. I'm ready for it to be just my husband and I in the bed again. Is that wrong of me to feel that way?

Help me figure out how to get her used to sleeping on her own. :(
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by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 4:57 PM
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Replies (1-10):
GhettoKoolAide
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 5:00 PM
Nine months in nine months out. Try sleeping with her clothes and then put them on her so she has your scent. Think about it she spent nine months in you and it's a scary noisy world out here.
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cabrandy03
by Brandy - Group Owner on Dec. 20, 2012 at 5:07 PM

Crying it out isn't the only way to get your baby sleeping in her own bed. Try looking into the Dr. Sears No Cry Sleep Solution.

sbreece
by Member on Dec. 20, 2012 at 5:21 PM
What does that mean? I'm supposed to wait 9 months before putting her in her own bed?? Omg she's only 3 months now. If I waited 6 more months..I'd never get her out of my bed. And I understand it may be scary to her...that's why I'm asking for ways to help comfort her and teach her her bed is not a scary place. I want ways to comfort her that don't involve me giving in and continuing to co-sleep.


Quoting GhettoKoolAide:

Nine months in nine months out. Try sleeping with her clothes and then put them on her so she has your scent. Think about it she spent nine months in you and it's a scary noisy world out here.

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sbreece
by Member on Dec. 20, 2012 at 5:21 PM
I know its not the only way. That's why I'm asking for help. Thanks..I'll look into what you suggested.


Quoting cabrandy03:

Crying it out isn't the only way to get your baby sleeping in her own bed. Try looking into the Dr. Sears No Cry Sleep Solution.


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sbreece
by Member on Dec. 20, 2012 at 5:27 PM
I looked up this method. How am I supppsed to teach her to self soothe? How does a baby self soothe? She won't take a paci.


Quoting cabrandy03:

Crying it out isn't the only way to get your baby sleeping in her own bed. Try looking into the Dr. Sears No Cry Sleep Solution.


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MomToovey
by Marianne - Admin on Dec. 20, 2012 at 5:33 PM

 It isn't wrong for you to feel that way at all. And no, crying it out isn't the only way to get her to sleep in her crib.

I haven't read the other replies, so forgive me if I'm being redundant, but here goes:

What we did with our daughter was started out bedsharing. Actually, what we did was take turns sleeping with her on our belly on the couch. We did that for about 1-2 months. Then we moved her to her swing. We wrapped her in a SwaddleMe blanket, gave her a pacifier, waited until she was asleep, strapped her in & turned it on. We kept the swing in our room for about another month or so. Each week we'd turn the swing off earlier and earlier until we weren't turning it on at all anymore. Then we moved the swing to the living room - keeping the bedroom door open so we could get to her quickly. And finally, we moved her to the crib. She was still wrapped in the blanket and still had the pacifier. By then she was used to not being held or too close to us, that she made the adjustment pretty quickly. I do remember she was unhappy the first night or two. I started out in the room with my hand on her until I knew she was sleeping soundly enough for me to leave. Then she just didn't need me to do that anymore.

You could try something similar. I especially recommend the swaddling if you're not already doing that.

Other things you can try are putting your scent in the crib, keeping the crib in the room with you for a while, or both :)

It's hard, but you can do it! Good luck

KelliansMom
by Darbie - Head Admin on Dec. 20, 2012 at 5:37 PM
Try moving her bed into your room. It's about baby steps :). She is still little and the world is big to her. So you got to do things slowly.
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cabrandy03
by Brandy - Group Owner on Dec. 20, 2012 at 5:41 PM

I havn't actually read the book, I just have a few friends who swear by this method so I thought i'd throw it out there.  I personally bed sharred with my daughter until recently.  I had tried getting her into her own bed around 6 months but I found that she still woke every couple of hours and getting out of bed to nurse her back to sleep was way too much work, I didn't get any sleep so we went back to bed sharring.  A few months before her 2nd birthday she started sleeping most of the way through the night so we moved her to a toddler bed in our room that she sleeps in most of the night.  Once she gets a little better at making it through the night we'll move her to her own room. 

I know that the few weeks I did have her sleeping in her crib, the way I did it was to nurse her until she was almost asleep and then set her in her crib and kept my hand on her belly until she was all the way asleep.  Sometimes if she was really fighting going to sleep, singing to her quietly helped.

Quoting sbreece:

I looked up this method. How am I supppsed to teach her to self soothe? How does a baby self soothe? She won't take a paci.


Quoting cabrandy03:

Crying it out isn't the only way to get your baby sleeping in her own bed. Try looking into the Dr. Sears No Cry Sleep Solution.



GhettoKoolAide
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 5:47 PM
I realize that but what I'm saying is its going to take time. Honestly you should've never started bed sharing if it wasn't your intent to do so for quite sometime.

Like I said sleep with something she wears to be or stuff it in your bra during the day and put it on her for nap times and that might help. Also try laying next to her in the floor for awhile while she sleeps. So you're instantly there and she gets use to that. Right now you've created a habit and its not fair to her for you remove yourself quickly. She's used to your heartbeat and smell. Also if you have an iPod of iPhone they have a white noise app that plays the baby's heartbeat and another that makes the shushing sound. So try something that so she doesn't feel alone. She's used to the noise!


Quoting sbreece:

What does that mean? I'm supposed to wait 9 months before putting her in her own bed?? Omg she's only 3 months now. If I waited 6 more months..I'd never get her out of my bed. And I understand it may be scary to her...that's why I'm asking for ways to help comfort her and teach her her bed is not a scary place. I want ways to comfort her that don't involve me giving in and continuing to co-sleep.




Quoting GhettoKoolAide:

Nine months in nine months out. Try sleeping with her clothes and then put them on her so she has your scent. Think about it she spent nine months in you and it's a scary noisy world out here.


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jobberwocky
by Chrissy - Admin on Dec. 20, 2012 at 7:28 PM
1 mom liked this
We bedshared for several months. I then moved him to a cosleeper hooked up to my bed. Then starting with nap time i would rock him to sleep. Once he was in a deep sleep i would put him in his crib. It started out only lasting a short time but got better and better. At almost 7 months he was in his crib at night.
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