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To go or not to go?

Posted by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 7:43 PM
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I'm a little torn on this situation, I have 2 nieces and my son. Little background info, on christmas eve, me and my brother got into a fight reason being he was picking on my cousin's son and made him cry twice and he was upset with his wife and yelled at her in front of everybody, I had enough because his attitude towards everybody was horrible so I stood up for my SIL and she said nothing!!! Now it's been another 2 months that I haven't talked to them or seen my nieces. This has happened once before and I had enough the last time that I actually went to my brothers school (he's a teacher) to talk to him and work it out. Well my oldest niece just turned 2 yesterday and she had a birthday party that I was not invited too. Now my other niece is getting ready to have her 1st birthday, (yes they are barely 12 months apart!) and was invited too, but no one in my family will be able to make it cause they are having it an hour away when most of all the family is in this area but my SIL's parents, so I think she's doing it to conveient her parents, no biggie, but my parents won't be able to go cause that's the day they get back from vacation, my aunts and cousin's won't be able to go cause they are working that night, which leaves me. I could go but with the situation that they will not talk to me is keeping me from going. I want to go to see my niece on her birthday and to also show them up that I will go. But i know I'm going to be uncomfortable for another reason, my SIL's SIL use to be my best friend and married her brother, no biggie right? WRONG, she really screwed me over by lying and made up a lot of bullshit to my family and my SIL's family about things I said that I DID NOT say to make me look bad and make her look good! Which tore me and my family apart for a while! So now this party is coming up and I have no idea what to do.....Go to the party or not to go to the party!? 

by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 7:43 PM
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Replies (1-8):
christineT79
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 12:28 PM

If I were in your situation I would just send a gift. I know it sounds mean but I have no problem writing off family members that are being jerky. I didnt talk to most of my family including some kids for 2 years once. Sometimes I need a break from my fam & I'm actually taking one right now from my parents.

mishlerdr24
by Bronze Member on Feb. 27, 2013 at 2:48 PM
Omg! Thank you for not being mean about this and actually understanding! Everyone has been a bith and telling me to grow up and go to the party....but if i go i know i'll be the odd man out and it's not like my son really knows his cousins cuz they never really play together cuz mostly me and my brother or me and my SIL are fighting and i'm always the one that will fo out o my way to make things right for the family sake and i want my son knowing his cousin especailly cuz they are really close in age!!!! So again Thank you!

Quoting christineT79:

If I were in your situation I would just send a gift. I know it sounds mean but I have no problem writing off family members that are being jerky. I didnt talk to most of my family including some kids for 2 years once. Sometimes I need a break from my fam & I'm actually taking one right now from my parents.

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christineT79
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 2:53 PM

 


Quoting mishlerdr24:

Omg! Thank you for not being mean about this and actually understanding! Everyone has been a bith and telling me to grow up and go to the party....but if i go i know i'll be the odd man out and it's not like my son really knows his cousins cuz they never really play together cuz mostly me and my brother or me and my SIL are fighting and i'm always the one that will fo out o my way to make things right for the family sake and i want my son knowing his cousin especailly cuz they are really close in age!!!! So again Thank you!

Quoting christineT79:

If I were in your situation I would just send a gift. I know it sounds mean but I have no problem writing off family members that are being jerky. I didnt talk to most of my family including some kids for 2 years once. Sometimes I need a break from my fam & I'm actually taking one right now from my parents.

Your welcome. I understand how family can be & I have no problem staying home or staying away from my family. I don't care if it sounds selfish but sometimes I have to put myself & my feelings first. I have issues sometimes with my hubby's fam & sometimes I send him to family functions & I stay home with my baby. I figure when my baby is older he can take her & I'll still stay home.

 

mishlerdr24
by Bronze Member on Feb. 27, 2013 at 3:01 PM
Omg same here with my DF's family!! Do we belong to the same families!!? Lol but i have never had any problems with my family at all...me and my brother use to be close until my SIL got pregnant with their first then everything changed!! Now it's an up down relationship with him and his family an i'm finally tired and hurt by it and i'm really trying not to care!!

Quoting christineT79:

 




Quoting mishlerdr24:

Omg! Thank you for not being mean about this and actually understanding! Everyone has been a bith and telling me to grow up and go to the party....but if i go i know i'll be the odd man out and it's not like my son really knows his cousins cuz they never really play together cuz mostly me and my brother or me and my SIL are fighting and i'm always the one that will fo out o my way to make things right for the family sake and i want my son knowing his cousin especailly cuz they are really close in age!!!! So again Thank you!


Quoting christineT79:


If I were in your situation I would just send a gift. I know it sounds mean but I have no problem writing off family members that are being jerky. I didnt talk to most of my family including some kids for 2 years once. Sometimes I need a break from my fam & I'm actually taking one right now from my parents.


Your welcome. I understand how family can be & I have no problem staying home or staying away from my family. I don't care if it sounds selfish but sometimes I have to put myself & my feelings first. I have issues sometimes with my hubby's fam & sometimes I send him to family functions & I stay home with my baby. I figure when my baby is older he can take her & I'll still stay home.


 

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Claughlin
by Member on Feb. 28, 2013 at 7:13 AM

Go.  It's not about you.  It's about your neice who is celebrating her first birthday.

AmyA1071
by Member on Feb. 28, 2013 at 8:54 AM

If you think the situation will be uncomfortable for you and your family and could make the situation worse then I would decline send and gift for the child.  Then if you feel this is relationship you want then you should talk to your brother first then your brother and SIL to clear the air and set up a visit with just your family and your brother's family and see how it goes.  Its always hard when family doesn't get along!  Good luck

MomToovey
by Marianne - Owner on Feb. 28, 2013 at 3:49 PM

 If it were me, I'd probably call your SIL and ask to arrange a playdate, just her kids and yours, and you can give your niece her gift then. Good luck!

emilyelephant
by Member on Mar. 1, 2013 at 1:18 AM

I wouldn't go OR send a gift.  Maybe she just wants a gift.  It's an opportunity to reconcile with them, but it's in no way the time or place, and if it's not resolved it's just going to be awkward.

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