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4 month old boy NEW MOM questions!! OVERWHELMED

Posted by on May. 24, 2013 at 7:37 PM
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My son is almost 5 months old and i am a single mom and here are my concerns:

He sleeps 8-10 hours a night, however when he is up, he must be in my arms carried at all times and it makes it so difficult to get things done. By the time he goes to bed at around 10pm Im so tired because he wont nap much but maybe 20 mins here and there. And car rides, Yeah right, HATES them.. screams the entire time. Howver if I walk around with the baby borne wrap on me he is fabulous, but this mother can not walk around 12 =14 hours a day. I manage to get done what I can but still there is only so much. Advice?

Also he is eatting every 2 hours when awake, Enfamil AR with Cereal added about 6 ounces after all is added. My son has Acid Reflux too :(  Well the doctor made me lower his ounes to 4 ounces about a month ago to lower his weight. and I uped it to 5 ounces a week ago. Any ideas on how to get him not fussy after two hours of wanting to eat and fuller and going three hours? If I feed him to much he spits up and this formula has been the best with filler and spit up. I am going to move him to 5.5 ounces next week to increase his intake to hopefully get him at three hours soon. Ideas?

I am super overwhelmed and many people offer advice around me and I guess I get defensive, but Im doing my best and trying to do what I can for my son.I hate to see him cry and makes me feel like Im doing something wrong.  The dad hasn't been around much and so I've been doing alot solo. When he does put in his input I get defensive and he tells me how to do it and to stop doing it the way I do. Ive been doing it this long without him, why should I listen.

Overwhelmed :(

Please help!!

by on May. 24, 2013 at 7:37 PM
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Replies (1-10):
KelliansMom
by Darbie - Head Admin on May. 24, 2013 at 7:49 PM
1 mom liked this
I fed my son on demand bc he had reflux but we could control of with feeding less more often and I also wore my son pretty much non stop the first six months. It's what worked for us.
With taking advice I just listen to way others had to say. Doesn't mean you have to use it but it was nice to have other ideas for when something we were doing stop working. And always your the mom follow your gut feelings on things.
anotherhalf
by on May. 24, 2013 at 7:56 PM
2 moms liked this

I would listen to other's advice and give it a shot but what may worked for their child may not work for yours.  Mine cried and could not be calmed every day at 5:00.  It was horrible but it passed and so will this. 

DomokunsMommy
by on May. 24, 2013 at 8:03 PM

My son was like that too.I ended up laying him down with colorful things to look at or in one of his chairs. (tummytime workedas well) I had to let him cry some, he was overly attached. how much does he weigh for them to have you feedhim less? My son is a big boy (now nearly 19lbs @ 5months) yet they never told me to cut his ounces, i feed him when he was hungry and in return he napped at least 45mns. He aslo hated car rides, i got him some links to put on his carseat and he'll now fall asleep but only if he has a grip on them. The father to my child hasn't dared to come into his life, you don't need to take anything from him. if he'snot there. Put  himin his place

cabrandy03
by Brandy - Group Owner on May. 24, 2013 at 8:23 PM
1 mom liked this

I don't know anything about formula feeding or reflux but the sleeping schedule seems pretty normal for a baby that age.  My daughter wouldn't sleep anywhere except in my sling or her stroller until she was about 7 or 8 months old and she wasn't happy unless I was holding or wearing her until she learned to walk.  I know it's frustrating but it's a phase that will end.  Hang in there!

sara_7106
by Bronze Member on May. 24, 2013 at 9:51 PM
Good advice!


Quoting KelliansMom:

I fed my son on demand bc he had reflux but we could control of with feeding less more often and I also wore my son pretty much non stop the first six months. It's what worked for us.

With taking advice I just listen to way others had to say. Doesn't mean you have to use it but it was nice to have other ideas for when something we were doing stop working. And always your the mom follow your gut feelings on things.

EthansMomma2010
by on May. 24, 2013 at 11:20 PM
5 moms liked this
First off the borne carrier is really bad for your back and baby's hips. Please consider a more ergonomic carrier such as the the ergo, mei tai or Moby wrap. Second you can let baby cry long enough to shower. If you don't want to I understand but trust me you aren't killing him. Third feed on demand. There is no reason to lower a baby's weight. There are off and bf babies who are fat and off and bf babies who are skinny. Babies do not become obese or even have that potential until after their 1st bday. You can lie to the pedi if you want to save yourself a fight. Fourth babies with acid reflux have an even stronger desire to be held or worn because it helps keep them in a position to prevent the reflux. This problem usually drastically decreases between 4 and 6 months. Hang in there momma. You are doing a great job. Just keep loving him and following that beautiful mommy instinct.
EthansMomma2010
by on May. 24, 2013 at 11:21 PM
Ff not off
SarahSuzyQ
by Sarah on May. 24, 2013 at 11:25 PM

I think you've gotten good advice from the other moms... Especially about persevering with the sling, and knowing that this too will end.

With the car rides, we had a baby that would just scream his head off the whole time, too. It is REALLY hard, because there isn't much you can do. I tried to do my shopping when someone could stay with him (usually DH) or I would consolidate errands so it was all one (somewhat miserable) trip. Some things we tried with mixed results were playing soothing music, playing upbeat music, putting up a mirror so he could see himself, having him wear those socks with a stuffed animal on the end, putting a mirror in the back window so I could see him... Sometimes one of those things would work, but sometimes he would just scream. And it's hard, because you don't want to see your baby unhappy. This may not be a popular answer, but the only thing that finally stopped the screaming was turning his car seat around on his first birthday. I know now there are all these recommendations about ERF, so you have to do what you feel is best to keep your baby safe.

And I think that's the thing with advice from other people, too. It's good to get ideas and to hear from others' experience, but at the end of the day you are the one caring for your boy. You get to decide what works for YOUR family, which may not be what worked for everyone else.

akline47
by New Member on May. 24, 2013 at 11:50 PM
Thanks ou so much for all the advice I am going to do some of the things you recommended...
My son is 16 pounds ..
One thing I was surprised is my doctor didn't say he was colicky... But one thing is for sure I less I'm holding him he is crying and whining and throwing a fit... I hate it and it breaks my heart... He will cry so much he makes himself puke and ill have to pull over whole driving to help him ... I did turn his seat around and noticed he is much better I know it's not the right way but he is much better than he was .... He has a little lamb that has rain noises and whale noises it used to work but actually this hanging monkey he talks too funny... And this is ONLY since I turned his carseat which I know isn't right but oh my lord he is happy :)
Sometimes when he cries or gets upset with someone else, even his dad I try to step away to let him calm down but they can't seem to quiet him, then they give him to me and wow no crying ... :(
I cried in the doctors office because when he would get fussy I'd feel like I've done wrong he is upset the doctor had to touch my shoulder to say your doing a great job and yor a great mom ... Made me feel better but still he was crying :(
Thanks again everyone

Oh and fists... He sucks his fists and when I feed him tenses up with both hands by his face and its almost like a security to him but it worries me. He does it when I do something that makes him feel scared and tenses his hands up. The doctor said its the reflux ... But it would be as simple as him laying on his back and I let go of his hands and he pulls to his sides and gets that tense look In face and hands :( is that normal?
He is a good baby it's just I get tired and sometimes I have to step out of the room when he is having a moment and breathe ... Love him to pieces just get so worried I'm not doing it right sometimes and or reading his signals yet. Heck I don't even know the differences in his crying needs ... I just go by the hour and the time of day...
hapababies
by Member on May. 25, 2013 at 12:09 AM
1 mom liked this
This is awesome advice.
The only thing I would add is that my ped told me to hold off on cereal until my son was 7 months old when he had bad reflux. He told me that it can make the reflux worse. My son's reflux was so bad that he never tolerated it.


Quoting EthansMomma2010:

First off the borne carrier is really bad for your back and baby's hips. Please consider a more ergonomic carrier such as the the ergo, mei tai or Moby wrap. Second you can let baby cry long enough to shower. If you don't want to I understand but trust me you aren't killing him. Third feed on demand. There is no reason to lower a baby's weight. There are off and bf babies who are fat and off and bf babies who are skinny. Babies do not become obese or even have that potential until after their 1st bday. You can lie to the pedi if you want to save yourself a fight. Fourth babies with acid reflux have an even stronger desire to be held or worn because it helps keep them in a position to prevent the reflux. This problem usually drastically decreases between 4 and 6 months. Hang in there momma. You are doing a great job. Just keep loving him and following that beautiful mommy instinct.

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