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Did Your Mom Stay with You After Your Baby Was Born?

Posted by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 12:00 AM
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As I mentioned in a previous post, one thing I worried about a lot while I was pregnant with my first baby was how I was going to handle well-meaning relatives visiting our brand-new family in the days and weeks immediately following the birth. The figure that loomed largest in that drama was my own mother, who was coming to stay with us for two weeks. I didn't know how I was going to handle it.

Now, my mom is WONDERFUL, and she's especially wonderful with kids, and that was exactly the problem. She's so knowledgable and comfortable with all things baby (she's a former pediatric nurse) that I was afraid she'd just sweep in and take over everything having to do with infant care, leaving me sitting in a corner with empty arms--arms that had waited so long to hold my new son.

See, it wasn't that I didn't want my mom there, or that I didn't think she'd be helpful; I thought she'd be too helpful, too eager to give advice, too much the mother figure when I wanted to figure that out for myself. I didn't like the idea of someone hovering over me, watching my every move and witnessing all my inevitable first-time-mom mistakes. I wanted to muddle through things on my own (and with my husband) and not feel like I was being evaluated by an expert.

After all that worry, the reality was a total surprise. My mom stayed with us for those two weeks and she didn't hog the baby, not even a little bit. I was able to do all the newborn-care stuff I wanted to, I was able to get her help with the things that felt overwhelming (bathing a newborn is not for wimps!), and most of all, she was incredible in stepping in to take care of all the real-life non-baby things that still needed attention, like dishes, laundry, and cooking. I seriously went five days after the birth of my first son without remembering we had two cats and they needed to be fed daily. Thank goodness for my mom, who had everything under control. We probably could have done it without her if we'd had to, but we would have been a dirty, hungry mess and definitely not have enjoyed those early baby days as much as we did. 

Here I was, all nervous about my mom taking over care of the baby--my baby--but then it turned out she knew just what I needed: for her to take care of me--her baby. I hope I can be that kind of mom for my own kids when they need it someday. 

How about you? Was your mom around immediately after the birth of your baby? Was her help a godsend, a burden, or somewhere in between?

Image © Bryson

by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 12:00 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by Member on Jun. 17, 2013 at 7:30 AM
My mom stayed for a week after the boys were born. It was wonderful having her here
by Chrissy - Admin on Jun. 17, 2013 at 9:17 AM
Yes. She flew down here for his birth and stayed with us for a few days after he was born. It was nice because she cooked for us while I slept or tended to the baby. My dad came fly down on the day we were released from the hospital.
by Bronze Member on Jun. 17, 2013 at 9:30 AM

 I asked my mom not to come and asked my sister to come. My mom is very judgemental and gets on my nerves, and I didn't want her there. My sister had 3 kids and was very loving, and I knew I could depend on her information. She was great.

by Marianne - Admin on Jun. 17, 2013 at 2:52 PM

 My parents arrived the day after she was born, and stayed for a week after we brought her home from the hospital.

In many ways, having them around felt like a burden. I was caring for a newborn as well as dealing with "company." That meant meals needed to be thought out and so on. And we're all very indecisive people. They wanted to buy dinner each night they were there, but it would take us forever to decide where from, and what to get, that I always ended up having to eat cold food because by the time they went out to get it and bring it back, I was nursing again.

But in many other ways, it was amazing. Each day they took her on hour long walks while I napped. And since my DH had to go back to work the day after we brought her home from the hospital, they gave me a few buffer days between him going back to work and my taking care of her completely by myself.

by Member on Jun. 17, 2013 at 3:11 PM

My mom lives 15 min. away so I could call her if I needed too. But my DD, her dad n I lived with my grandma, so my grandma helped. DD n I still live with my grandma.

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by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 6:26 PM

I live a few blocks from my mom so she didn't stay over, but she and my father visited almost daily. My husband got the week of our daughter's birth off so I didn't need much help that week. But once he returned to work, I started spending the days at my mom's since she runs a daycare and is home all day. Aubrey is seven weeks old and we still spend about three days a week at my mom's.

by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 7:12 PM

No, Nor did she visit but maybe once. Needless to say I dont have a motherly mother.. Bet your sweet ass tho  I AM/ WILL BE MOM OF ALL MOMS! HEAR ME ROAR BABY!!! LOL  i never had a "mother" growing up.. more like an annoying sister/ friend so from that i knew everything i was NOT to do.. my mother taught me how to be the best mother in the world.. by being the worst.. bitter sweet i guess..

by Bronze Member on Jun. 17, 2013 at 11:50 PM

 She helped a lot with the first but didn't stay because we lived in the same town. She stayed with the next three because we live 4 hours away now. She was not able to stay after the fifth though :(

by on Jun. 18, 2013 at 8:37 AM

No.  I didn't have any help.  My sister had my nephew 2 1/2 months before my dd was born and my Mom was already watching him.

by on Jun. 18, 2013 at 9:00 AM

No but she took care of my 1st dd when my son was born

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