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Tantrums: All The Cool Kids Are Doing It!

Posted by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 12:00 AM
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When I left the hospital with my first baby, the nurse gave me a pamphlet that had a picture of a screaming baby on it with the words "Babies cry...A LOT". I knew to expect some crying. And my son most definitely gave me a run for my money a few times. But I was still taken a bit by surprise when the actual tantrums started around 8 months old. I had been under the impression that babies didn't throw tantrums until much later. Like two or three years-old.  Silly mama, right?

It's important to remember that tantrums are developmentally normal. They happen to every child.  

It is hard to be a kid (Don't laugh! It really is!) . Everything is too big or not safe. They are told "not now" and "you can't" and "no" a lot. They must depend on others to do simple tasks that we as adults do easily. It's frustrating to say the very least.  They live in a world that is too big.  Even just opening their snack is a challenge because the packaging has obviously been fused together with superglue. And while we are there to keep them safe and to teach them regulation, we need to remember that being corrected and parented can also be very frustrating for our kids.  Add in the developmental milestones and the desire for independence that comes with being an infant, then a toddler, and then a preschooler and you've got a powder keg of will vs ability. That's enough to bring any adult into a hissy fit, right? It must really stink to have the understanding of independence but be unable to actually put it into practice.  

All of that said, tantrums are hard on the mamas too. Especially when they come at the grocery store or in a restaurant.  I have had to abandon my cart or get To-Go boxes more times than I can count and I've become a deep breathing expert, too ;) My tantrum mantra  is "This too shall pass". Sometimes I have to repeat that to myself 50 times before it sticks. But it usually works to keep me patient and calm.

Do you have a tried and true method for dealing with tantrums? Has your child thrown a tantrum in a really inconvenient place? What advice would you give to a new mom dealing with tantrums?  


Image © iStock.com/W1zzard

by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 12:00 AM
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Replies (1-10):
kellynh
by Member on Jul. 3, 2013 at 7:30 AM

Just don't react to them. Oy they grate on your nerves, but if you react to them, they will intensify. 

4kidz916
by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 9:22 AM

I agree.  The more attention you give, the worse they will get. 

Quoting kellynh:

Just don't react to them. Oy they grate on your nerves, but if you react to them, they will intensify. 


SweetLuci
by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 9:29 AM
1 mom liked this

 Depends on the age of the child. I try to comfort. But then, I would take them out of the restaurant, grocery put in car seat, and not speak to him till he got quiet. Then I would speak softly. I've found that getting loud just makes him louder. If at home, put him in his crib and leave the room till he's quiet and then go back in smiling. It's hard to do but it works.

wandep
by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 9:49 AM

Agreed..just walk away if you can.

Quoting kellynh:

Just don't react to them. Oy they grate on your nerves, but if you react to them, they will intensify. 


jobberwocky
by Chrissy - Admin on Jul. 3, 2013 at 10:03 AM
If we are home, the tantrums are ignored so long as he's not harming anyone and he is able to stop on his own. Sometimes he just can't get out of it on his own so I will pick him up and cuddle him and sing very softly until he quiets down.

If we are out, he is removed from the restaurant/store etc until he calms down. I usually speak softly and sing quietly right to his ear until he calms down.
sukainah
by Bronze Member on Jul. 3, 2013 at 10:07 AM

I just try to stay calm to calm them down, sometimes I ignore them.  Luckily they haven't thrown many fits in public because I usually don't take them shopping with me and we don't go out to eat often.  My youngest kind of throws fits when he has to come in from outdoors.

othermom
by Bronze Member on Jul. 3, 2013 at 10:37 AM

I usually put them in time out or ignore them. There are a few times it has taken a while, but then they learn that it is not acceptable. My okder two  were never to bad, but my youngest had horrible tantrums. When she was about 2 she threw a fit for 20 minutes walking back from the park becuase we wouldn't pick her up, the park is only 2 blocks away.

goddess99
by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 10:40 AM

If my dd threw a fit in a public place, we left. I always ignored tantrums, they end faster that way.

elasmimi
by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 10:41 AM

Exactly. But it's easier to ignore at home than in a supermarket, lol.

Quoting kellynh:

Just don't react to them. Oy they grate on your nerves, but if you react to them, they will intensify. 


KaylaMillar
by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 11:03 AM
Discipline. Out children know tatrums don't fly in this house
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