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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

would like some opinions please

Posted by on Nov. 14, 2010 at 11:53 AM
  • 14 Replies

i have been talking to this guy i met over the internet for almost a month now, we haven't met yet seems like everytime we make plans to something comes up. He has a 7 yr old son that he gets every other weekend, when he has his son i dont hear much from him cause he does things with his son which i understand that but i feel left out his son doesn't even know that we are talking he doesnt want to tell him yet. i have a 6 yr old that i have full custody of so he is around when i talk to this guy. so what is ya'lls opinion on how i feel should i or should i not feel like this and should i or should i not tell him how i feel?

by on Nov. 14, 2010 at 11:53 AM
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Replies (1-10):
jazi1105
by Jazi :) on Nov. 14, 2010 at 12:56 PM

I wouldn't push things. Let things happen when they happen...otherwise it might annoy him...it's only been about a month and he probably doesn't have a rush to get his child involved yet...it could also have something to do with the ex and he doesn't want problems or trash talking from her unless he is sure the relationship is serious? Who knows...but I still wouldn't rush things on him...it could end up pushing him away...wishing you the best!!

MommaClark3
by on Nov. 14, 2010 at 1:04 PM

It hasn't even been a month? He hasn't told his kid? Relax....

When I was a single parent with my eldest son, I never involved him in dating, who I was talking to as an adult, and certainly did want him getting attached to every guy I happened to think was attractive! I could not imagin confusing the poor kid like that, much less think that they'd all stick around. And considering I've been with my husband over 12 years now, back than we did a phone thing (free for females, men get a free trial than had to subscribe), and we didn't have social sites to help connect (wasn't as popular as these days)... hahaha

But remember that you haven't even seen this guy face to face yet, and online we can pretend to be anything we choose... including pretending to be a single dad? For all you honestly know this guy is playing you and other women and pretending to have a kid? I can snag pics of my sister's kids and pretend they are mine, or pics from another person's life/blog and pretend to be them as well. Reality is, until you see first hand what all the "truths" are you cannot hold this guy to any standards? You could even be dealing with some married guy that is looking for a piece of arse on the side? Never know, and should have expectations, and pretty please keep your kid out of that part of your life until you've gotten serious enough to even let him meet your kid?

LADYBUGZ909
by on Nov. 14, 2010 at 2:19 PM

well I think a month is too quick for him to bring you around his son.. I honestly think you should give it a lil more time. Who knows what is going on with him or his sons mother what he wants her to know.. I would wait another month or two before bringing anything up.. give it some time.

Wendy

ShannaBee
by on Nov. 14, 2010 at 6:52 PM
Transitioning from being single to dating while being a parent can be tough. Sounds like he wants to make sure the two of you have chemistry before introducing you to his son. Relax and enjoy this stage of dating.
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emore626
by on Nov. 14, 2010 at 11:43 PM
Yea give it more time, there's no rush. Besides keeping our children safe is the number one thing! It may not be a good idea to get the kids involved yet, since you both don't even know how it will turn out.

Be patient ....it will payoff
mamaneedsabreak
by on Nov. 15, 2010 at 2:05 PM

no what i meant was i feel like he thinks i dont exsist that much when he has his son he likes has to wait till his son is asleep before he calls me and thru the whole weekend he may text me a few times nothing compared to what we do when he isnt there. im not ready to meet his son yet like im not ready for him to meet mine i wanna see how it goes a couple or few times first before i do that.

jazi1105
by Jazi :) on Nov. 15, 2010 at 2:39 PM

Well you have to consider that he isn't a full time parent and wants to make the most out of his visits with his child. I mean imagine if you could only see your child 4 days a month...you'd want to do everything you can to spend as much time as possible with him/her instead of talking on the phone, texting, or talking online to someone else. It's a matter of priority, and I would be glad to know that his kid is his priority.

I wouldn't be offended or upset about it...just try to view it from his side.

Quoting mamaneedsabreak:

no what i meant was i feel like he thinks i dont exsist that much when he has his son he likes has to wait till his son is asleep before he calls me and thru the whole weekend he may text me a few times nothing compared to what we do when he isnt there. im not ready to meet his son yet like im not ready for him to meet mine i wanna see how it goes a couple or few times first before i do that.


emore626
by on Nov. 16, 2010 at 10:20 AM

 

Quoting jazi1105:

Well you have to consider that he isn't a full time parent and wants to make the most out of his visits with his child. I mean imagine if you could only see your child 4 days a month...you'd want to do everything you can to spend as much time as possible with him/her instead of talking on the phone, texting, or talking online to someone else. It's a matter of priority, and I would be glad to know that his kid is his priority.

I wouldn't be offended or upset about it...just try to view it from his side.

Quoting mamaneedsabreak:

no what i meant was i feel like he thinks i dont exsist that much when he has his son he likes has to wait till his son is asleep before he calls me and thru the whole weekend he may text me a few times nothing compared to what we do when he isnt there. im not ready to meet his son yet like im not ready for him to meet mine i wanna see how it goes a couple or few times first before i do that.


 I totally agree with jazzi, it has only been a bit since you started with him, and he wants to make the time with his son profitable since he is not with him 24-7....take that time to do your things, maybe spend time with your child, or hang out with friends that you haven't spend time with cuz your with him. That way u are busy and won't even notice how fast time flew by!  

kybella
by on Nov. 16, 2010 at 10:59 AM

 

Quoting emore626:

 

Quoting jazi1105:

Well you have to consider that he isn't a full time parent and wants to make the most out of his visits with his child. I mean imagine if you could only see your child 4 days a month...you'd want to do everything you can to spend as much time as possible with him/her instead of talking on the phone, texting, or talking online to someone else. It's a matter of priority, and I would be glad to know that his kid is his priority.

I wouldn't be offended or upset about it...just try to view it from his side.

Quoting mamaneedsabreak:

no what i meant was i feel like he thinks i dont exsist that much when he has his son he likes has to wait till his son is asleep before he calls me and thru the whole weekend he may text me a few times nothing compared to what we do when he isnt there. im not ready to meet his son yet like im not ready for him to meet mine i wanna see how it goes a couple or few times first before i do that.


 I totally agree with jazzi, it has only been a bit since you started with him, and he wants to make the time with his son profitable since he is not with him 24-7....take that time to do your things, maybe spend time with your child, or hang out with friends that you haven't spend time with cuz your with him. That way u are busy and won't even notice how fast time flew by!  

 I think you should just relax and let things progress.  I agree with OP, enjoy things for what they are!

orange4agua72
by on Nov. 16, 2010 at 3:04 PM

 I wouldn't push it especially because you haven't even met him yet... just take it slow, if it's ment to be: it'll happen!!! GL!

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