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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

about a year ago i started dating the guy im with now.. we've known each other for 16 years.. so i thought i could trust him because of our history together.. well a few nights ago he's sitting next to me pretty much begging to have a threesome with this girl that he works with.. and i couldnt believe it. i couldnt understand why he would keep pushing for it after i said no.. why he wanted to have sex with this girl soo badly.. when just a few days before that he had told me that shes just kinda cute and she smokes (he doesnt like smokers) and that it disgustes him how many guys shes slept with... but now all of a sudden he wants her.. i dont get it.. i get mad at him for asking and then as he starts to walk away he tells me he has her number.. i completely flip out because he shouldnt have a number of a girl he wants to sleep with while he's dating someone else.. idc if he claims they have been friends for a while or not.. he shouldnt have it.. so he deletes it and then about an hour later comes and tells me he was wrong and that he's sorry.. and 2 days ago while i was sitting next to him she calls and he has her number saved again!!! i go really pissed off.. i couldnt believe he would put it back in his phone after he new how i felt about that.. but this time he refuses to delete it just kept saying shes just a friend.. i told him i cant trust him now.. because he kept that from me.. how am i supposed to believe him when he says he isnt keeping anything else from me.. he hurt me by doing this and he doesnt understand it.. he doesnt get how that could hurt its just a number he says.. well if its just a number and its not important then delete it!! still a no.. i dont see why if he's known her for a couple of years why now does he need her number.. he tells me that they text at work.. well hes not even suppose to have his phone out when hes working.. but they bs with each other all day through text.. but when i text him he doesnt respond and gives me excuses like i cant just pull my phone out while im working whenever you text me.. wtf!!! but you can text her!!! you have to be fricken kidding me! then he told me that they went to lunch together just the two of them.. but tells me if i did that with my guy friends it would be a date! he says its different because they work together.. but i think its the same thing... i feel like im losing him to this girl. and i dont know what to do.. i already do everything for him.. he gets sex whenever he wants it even when im already passed out.. he wakes me up for it.. and i just let him.. i do his laundry i put his work clothes out for him.. i try to make life easy for him because of all the "overtime" hes been working.. if thats whats really going on.. well according to the pay checks it is.. but still.. i am having a hard time believing him when he tells me he has to work late.. just to get this project done.. (he works union btw as a pipefitter) i want to be with him.. its all ive ever wanted since we met.. and he says he loves me.. but usually when we fight he tells me he loves me and convinces me everything will be alright.. he hasnt done this once.. he didnt even feel like he needed to say he was sorry for keeping the fact that he put her number back in his phone even though he knew i would feel the same way and react the same way..

i just dont know what to do.. how do i move on from this? how can i trust that he's not hiding something else from me?

by on Nov. 16, 2010 at 3:09 PM
Replies (11-12):
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 3:37 AM
I've been in this situation, from my experience he's already done what your afraid of. The 3some is either his way of not feeling guilty or him being a selfish pig. Lunch,texts,over time and hidden phone numbers. I'm so sorry sweetheart. But you need to stop this before you set yourself up for even more heart break. Be strong and do right by you cause apparently he's not going to
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by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 7:15 PM
Totally agree!

Quoting orange4agua72:

 It would take me a while to trust after something like that. ESPECIALLY because he was OBVIUSLY sexually interested in her... BIG HUGS mama, I'd just make him choose her or me, it's OBVIOUS the conversation between the two of them has gone BEYOND the "freinds" talk, and that's UNACCEPTABLE in my book! I'd probably give him an ultimadum and be ready to accept what he chooses! Either STOp talking to her because it's DISRESPECTFUL to YOU or leave! BIG HUGS, I'm sorry I wasn't much help, but it sounds like he's being SO disrespectful to you!!!!

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