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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

A house divided

Posted by on Nov. 23, 2010 at 5:45 PM
  • 10 Replies

Can it stand?

I believe that MY house divided cannot stand. Here, God is the foundation, and without him, well, I don't want to know. I say this because before my husband and I became dedicated christians, it was a mess. Now, we're at the best point of our lives because of God.

BUT back in high school, a good friend of mine grew up in a "divided" house. Meaning to say her dad is catholic but her mom is christian. Still, they were a very loving family. Today, my friend is practicing law and engaged, her brother is a doctor, and her parents are still together, happily. It seems like they raised wonderful children despite their religious beliefs. Mary, my friend, is one of the greatest friends I've ever had.

I have another friend who doesn't believe in God but her dh does. They've been married for 12 years, happily.

What is your opinion on a house divided?

Just opinions, no bashing please =) I post this in here because I know that we are all mature women and can talk about this constructively.

by on Nov. 23, 2010 at 5:45 PM
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Replies (1-10):
orange4agua72
by on Nov. 23, 2010 at 7:45 PM

 I don't know...

I think if even one person is praying and REALLY ACTING on the ACTIONS of God's love, then YES the household can stand.

BUT

if both partners are just "playing a role" and not truely acting on what they say they believe, than NO I believe the house will FALL!

(I hope that made sense)

ShannaBee
by on Nov. 23, 2010 at 7:48 PM
I am more spiritual than DH. I've tried getting him to go to church. But I stand firm that a marriage with God is a marriage that can last.
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kathyartist2007
by on Nov. 23, 2010 at 8:11 PM

I thought Catholics are Christians.

Anyway, my mom was raised Christian (I think one of the protestant religions - not sure) and my dad is Jewish. Neither was religious, so it worked out great for them and they were married 45 years before her death in 1990.

I was not religious before meeting my husband though I was confirmed as a child in the Episcopalian church. My husband is Episcopalian and so when we got serious with each other, we started attending a very progressive Episcopalian congregation in our town. We got married there and attend as often as we can (swim meets for my daughter sometimes fall on Sundays) and we are both very happy in our spirituality we share. We are spiritual in the same way and it works very well for us. His ex hated church and so he felt alone in that which bothered him. 

Meeting him brought me back into going to church and I really love it.

jenbscott
by on Nov. 23, 2010 at 9:13 PM

No. Catholisism is NOT the same as christianity...

Quoting kathyartist2007:

I thought Catholics are Christians.

Anyway, my mom was raised Christian (I think one of the protestant religions - not sure) and my dad is Jewish. Neither was religious, so it worked out great for them and they were married 45 years before her death in 1990.

I was not religious before meeting my husband though I was confirmed as a child in the Episcopalian church. My husband is Episcopalian and so when we got serious with each other, we started attending a very progressive Episcopalian congregation in our town. We got married there and attend as often as we can (swim meets for my daughter sometimes fall on Sundays) and we are both very happy in our spirituality we share. We are spiritual in the same way and it works very well for us. His ex hated church and so he felt alone in that which bothered him. 

Meeting him brought me back into going to church and I really love it.


SlightlyPerfect
by Slightly Perfect on Nov. 24, 2010 at 8:22 AM

I think it depends on the core values of the couple at the center of the family, not necessarily their faith-driven beliefs (unless they consider those to be core values). If they are in conflict, their house will not stand.

My husband and I are both atheists, and our core values are the same. If he ended up, say, converting to Christianity, I don't think I could stay married to him. Our core values (and very life philosophies that are in harmony right now) would change so dramatically that they would inevitably conflict.

jenbscott
by on Nov. 24, 2010 at 4:00 PM
I like this answer =)


Quoting SlightlyPerfect:

I think it depends on the core values of the couple at the center of the family, not necessarily their faith-driven beliefs (unless they consider those to be core values). If they are in conflict, their house will not stand.

My husband and I are both atheists, and our core values are the same. If he ended up, say, converting to Christianity, I don't think I could stay married to him. Our core values (and very life philosophies that are in harmony right now) would change so dramatically that they would inevitably conflict.


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Mitchi602
by Member on Nov. 24, 2010 at 4:04 PM
I totally agree with ur first paragraph. I have a strong faith in God where my dh does not. He strugges with his faith. Our core values remain the same. I'm free to be myself and not hide my faith or beliefs, as he is.

Quoting SlightlyPerfect:

I think it depends on the core values of the couple at the center of the family, not necessarily their faith-driven beliefs (unless they consider those to be core values). If they are in conflict, their house will not stand.

My husband and I are both atheists, and our core values are the same. If he ended up, say, converting to Christianity, I don't think I could stay married to him. Our core values (and very life philosophies that are in harmony right now) would change so dramatically that they would inevitably conflict.

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SlightlyPerfect
by Slightly Perfect on Nov. 25, 2010 at 9:59 PM

And that is a very complicated thing to do, IMO. A lot of people can have the same values for different reasons, and it is up to each couple to determine which is more important: conclusion or method. Yet the balance is so delicate and subject to change, anything can go at any time.

I think it's the notion of humanity, though, that makes everything worthwhile for us while we're on this planet.

Quoting Mitchi602:

I totally agree with ur first paragraph. I have a strong faith in God where my dh does not. He strugges with his faith. Our core values remain the same. I'm free to be myself and not hide my faith or beliefs, as he is. 

rebel_mommy09
by on Nov. 26, 2010 at 12:13 AM

I think that as long as you are open and communicate efficiently with your SO then religion or beliefs in religion should not dominate your relationship. 

EddiesGirl8400
by on Nov. 26, 2010 at 12:18 AM
Actually...Catholics believe in Christ so therefore we are christian. Idk why people always assume otherwise.


Quoting jenbscott:

No. Catholisism is NOT the same as christianity...


Quoting kathyartist2007:


I thought Catholics are Christians.


Anyway, my mom was raised Christian (I think one of the protestant religions - not sure) and my dad is Jewish. Neither was religious, so it worked out great for them and they were married 45 years before her death in 1990.


I was not religious before meeting my husband though I was confirmed as a child in the Episcopalian church. My husband is Episcopalian and so when we got serious with each other, we started attending a very progressive Episcopalian congregation in our town. We got married there and attend as often as we can (swim meets for my daughter sometimes fall on Sundays) and we are both very happy in our spirituality we share. We are spiritual in the same way and it works very well for us. His ex hated church and so he felt alone in that which bothered him. 


Meeting him brought me back into going to church and I really love it.




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