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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Could Your Marriage Survive? Take Our Polls!

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We just put up a series of polls about whether your marriage could survive after an affair. Tell us what you think here:

Poll #1: Outside the home

Poll #2: In your bed

Poll #3: Does location matter?

arguing           

by on Dec. 16, 2010 at 4:12 PM
Replies (31-40):
Acrockett87
by on Dec. 17, 2010 at 12:49 AM

right and thats no way 2 live. Just to even have to think about him being with someone or WANTING to be with someone else crushes you, I know how u feel. I dont know what I would do either but I know it would never be the same and that hurts even more that you cant get back that life you thought u had.

Quoting Lucky2BaMomof2:

thanks guys, im fighting a good fight, against myself, lol. . . but in the end i think im going to get us all financially squared away and leave. .. im hoping i dont and stick it out for better days, but i already know how much it hurts to stay and no one has ever told me it gets better. .. I dont think the trust ever comes back fully. . . if he goes to work early, or comes home late i panic because of how BADLY things went last time. If he hides things from me at all ever i get nervous, if hes chatting with people i dont know i get scared. .. . its not a marriage id wish on anyone. ..


babipeanut
by on Dec. 17, 2010 at 2:09 AM

 It would depend on WHO had the affair-if I did no it probablly wouldn't but I have to much invested to leave now. 

Stormy7
by on Dec. 17, 2010 at 2:45 AM

The location would not matter ,the fact that it did happen whould matter

WitchyKitty1
by on Dec. 17, 2010 at 6:18 AM

An affair does hurt, the question to think about is what were the circumstance surrounding the affair.  If it was a one time slip up and he was so shaken by the experience that he could barely function would you be able to forgive him?  I was away for a five month period training with the North Carolina Army National Guard.  He had a slip up, I was very hurt, angry, and at my wits end.  I turned to God and my friends.  He and I discussed everything that happened, or at least as much as I could bare to hear.  I told him that I could not believe this had happened.  Many people may say I am insane, but I did forgive him.  We are human, how do I know it wont happen again....I don't.  This happened about 6 years ago.  I took a lot of time for him to regain my trust in him, hey I still have moments when I have doubts.  But our love for each other is strong, the affair tore him up as well and he was truly sorry.  He knows that I will walk away and take our daughter with us if it ever happens again, and yes I would find out, his behavior speaks volumes and that  he can't had (he never has been able to).  So say I am crazy for giving him a second chance but I have not regretted that decision to this day.  We have grown stronger and closer.  I understand that many people may say that he has me snowed and that I am blind but let me tell you that is not the case, and they are entitled to their opinion.  I am a strong and independent woman and  he knows that I am with him because I chose to be and not because I have to be.  Do I think everyone should turn the other cheek?  I am not saying that, everyone is different and what works for one person does not necessarily work for another.  I am just saying weigh all the circumstances and your love for each other.

musicangl
by on Dec. 17, 2010 at 8:03 AM

my marriage has survived him beating the crap outta me for the first 2 yrs of our marriage.. however i dont think it would survive if he cheated on me.  ive been cheated on before and trust is hard to get back.. mind you trust is hard to get back after somoene beats you also but its a work in process

jengarcia2007
by on Dec. 17, 2010 at 8:09 AM
I have to agree


Quoting NevadaSky:

I truly don't care where the affair happened.   If it happened I'd be gone, period!

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
burninghalo
by on Dec. 17, 2010 at 8:24 AM
If someone goes outside the marriage and cheats it means they obviously are lacking something they didn't feel like they were getting from the marriage and to that I say "see ya". I would never forgive my husband and I wouldn't ever trust him again. Sex to me is very special and way to show someone you love them. By cheating that shows lack of respect and lack of care of the commitment to the person u chose to be with.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
sukainah
by on Dec. 17, 2010 at 8:57 AM

I replied on all the polls and said that it does not matter where an affair happened, our marriage would be over.  We are struggling now with our marriage and an affair would be the final straw.

skeadle
by on Dec. 17, 2010 at 10:22 AM

Before my hubby and I dedicated our lives to the Lord, he cheated on me.  He told me after I got saved. (we got saved within a month of each other.) I was mad and upset, but I loved him too much. The fact that he told me and was asking for my forgiveness, led to me trusting him even more. I forgave him and we now have the best relationship ever! I love him so much.

skeadle
by on Dec. 17, 2010 at 10:25 AM

You are not crazy! I gave mine a second chance and we are stronger than ever. It feels good to see other people who have given their SO a second chance. The thanks can only go to God! He is an awesome God.

Quoting WitchyKitty1:

An affair does hurt, the question to think about is what were the circumstance surrounding the affair.  If it was a one time slip up and he was so shaken by the experience that he could barely function would you be able to forgive him?  I was away for a five month period training with the North Carolina Army National Guard.  He had a slip up, I was very hurt, angry, and at my wits end.  I turned to God and my friends.  He and I discussed everything that happened, or at least as much as I could bare to hear.  I told him that I could not believe this had happened.  Many people may say I am insane, but I did forgive him.  We are human, how do I know it wont happen again....I don't.  This happened about 6 years ago.  I took a lot of time for him to regain my trust in him, hey I still have moments when I have doubts.  But our love for each other is strong, the affair tore him up as well and he was truly sorry.  He knows that I will walk away and take our daughter with us if it ever happens again, and yes I would find out, his behavior speaks volumes and that  he can't had (he never has been able to).  So say I am crazy for giving him a second chance but I have not regretted that decision to this day.  We have grown stronger and closer.  I understand that many people may say that he has me snowed and that I am blind but let me tell you that is not the case, and they are entitled to their opinion.  I am a strong and independent woman and  he knows that I am with him because I chose to be and not because I have to be.  Do I think everyone should turn the other cheek?  I am not saying that, everyone is different and what works for one person does not necessarily work for another.  I am just saying weigh all the circumstances and your love for each other.


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