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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

how do you do it?

Posted by on Dec. 16, 2010 at 4:46 PM
  • 7 Replies

make your marriage work?

my husband works from 4am-5pm everyday and at times it seems we're never on the same page when it comes to spending time with each other without our kids around,

so my question is how do you do it make your marriage when you have no one to watch your kids so you and your SO/DH can spend time together?


by on Dec. 16, 2010 at 4:46 PM
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Replies (1-7):
jenC1978
by Member on Dec. 16, 2010 at 4:48 PM

Wow that is a long work day.  I'm sure he must be exhausted when he gets home and all he wants to do is sleep which I can't blame him for.  You are going to have to take one day on the weekend when you guys can just spend a little quality time together.  Maybe you can go see a movie or just get some dinner together without the kids.  Marriage is hard and it takes effort on both parts.  Good luck!

ShannaBee
by Platinum Member on Dec. 16, 2010 at 4:52 PM
Both have to want it to work. The thing alot of people do is give up when things get tough or stale. My DH has a career in the oilfield. He works 12-18 hours a day 7 days a week. We hardly get to spend time together. But I open my heart to be understanding and sympathetic. We talk on the phone alot during downtime at his job. The phone calls have reconnected us. Can you not find friends or family to watch the kids for a couple hours so you can go on a date? Do at home dates. At the kid's bedtime, you and DH can have a candelit picnic somewhere in the house. Me and DH shower together just to have that time together. I know it can be frustrating, just hang in there.
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txsgal
by on Dec. 16, 2010 at 4:52 PM

Well for me and my husband, we don't really have anyone to watch the boys for us and if we're lucky my mom will do it (if she can, she works a lot). So for us any time we spend together is precious. We usually wait until we put the boys to bed and we watch regular tv, or a movie together. There have even been times where we just lay down in bed laughing and talking together. I know it doesn't seem like much because most couples actually go out, but we don't have that luxury or finances to do that, so we just spend any time together that we can. I think it's those little moments together that help relight the fire and keep the connection together.

OhiogirlinCali
by on Dec. 16, 2010 at 4:53 PM

 We make it a point to unwind together after the kids are in bed, whether it's watching tv/movies, playing a card game, taking a bath, etc...

armywife_moma2
by on Dec. 16, 2010 at 4:58 PM

thanx ladies hubs is in the military as most of you guessed or seen but we were stationed in Colorado Springs, CO at Fort Carson all of our family lives in California and most of our friends and the guys that he works with have family of there own and i don't know any one else here............

but i am going to try and do the picnic thing when the kids go to bed or nap we already take showers together but it depends on his mood and if the kids are sleeping or not so its difficult at times but thank you ladies for the advice :)

akgraff
by on Dec. 16, 2010 at 5:01 PM

dh works from 1pm to 10pm sometimes and i work from 930-3pm everydays. Its hard and i honestly don't knwo how we make it work. We go out to dinner or soemthing twice a month if we can and we try to go for a walk together (if he's up to it) on my off day before he has to get ready for work. Also if he comes home early enough we will watch a movie, but other than that...i don't think we get enough time. I work on the weekends and he's off on the weekends so we really don't see each other. He also leaves every 2 months for 3 weeks. We love each other very much and try and spice things up in the bedroom or talk about our fav. times together when we are doing stuff together. We love talking about books and going to book store and going to cafes.

_Tam_
by on Dec. 16, 2010 at 5:10 PM

It's a long work day, but typical of military personnel (my hubby and I are Navy vets).  I'm sure he's almost always tired when he arrives home in the evening.  Find a day when he's not working (I'm pretty sure there are days on the weekend when they aren't drilling) and have your kids go spend the night with a friend of yours (preferably one with children) so that you and your hubby can have some quiet time to yourselves.  Sweeten this deal with your friends by offering the same "service" for them as well.

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