DH and I are selfish people. We put our relationship first.
Does anyone else do this?
To us, it is the only thing that makes sense. We are the foundation of our family. Our family is only as strong as our relationship. If we put everyone else first, we end up abandoning our own needs, and thus the foundation of our family will weaken.
But I know a lot of people to chide us constantly for this. Not in practice, mind you, because they always tell us what good parents we are and how happy we are, but in conversation they'll mention how putting your relationship before your children is wrong. I mean, if they mean it as having sex with one another while our sick child cries in her bedroom alone and scared, well, no, that's not what we mean when we say putting our relationship first.
But we can't give what we don't have. We need to replenish one another in order to be the best to one another and our daughter.
Does anyone else go through this? How do you combat this thought that altruism is necessary for family happiness and stability?