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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

This is very TMI *edit

Posted by on Jan. 5, 2011 at 11:11 AM
  • 70 Replies

I'm not even really sure how to say this, but I hate sex. I have never gotten close to the "O" with my hubby or the other 2 guys I have been with. I don't like oral and not like straight sex either. I recently discovered that if he sucks on my nipples gently it helps, but not much, and now he is getting WAY to aggressive and hurting me, so now I don't want him to do that either. He always acts like I personally offended him if I don't get off, so I fake it, but I don't even know what I am faking. I tried talking to my 2 different Dr's but both of them said that I was pregnant it would get better, or that I had just had a baby and it would get better, I tried telling them that I had this problem before I got pregnant with my oldest, and now my youngest is 16 months and sex feels more like a chore than anything else and I don't know what do to about it. I have tried talking to hubby about it and he just tells me that I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and do something about it.

I don't even know if I am asking a question or venting, but maybe you all might have some ideas or suggestions??

I have tried oils and creams and we have talked about even trying some very mild bondage type things, but never have mainly because we haven't had the money for it. I'm just tired of having one more "chore" on my list that if it doesn't get done someone is upset. I was reading a post in another group and one lady said the more you have it the better it gets, but before I got pregnant with my oldest we would have it 2 or 3 times A DAY and it still never did anything for me, it was just new and exciting (My hubby was my first)...

I will stop rambling now :) I just don't know what to do.


So last night I had a nice long talk with hubby and told him what was going on and that the reason why I'm never interested is because I have never "gotten off" and that I want to figure out how to fix it, because I do want to enjoy it and I don't like feeling like it is a chore. First his comment was "Well no wonder your never interested" then he said he wished I had told him before now and not lied to him about, and I was pretty good at faking cause he could have swore he was getting me there. It was good to finally talk to him about it, but I am not sure he understands how hard this is for me, because this morning the first thing he said is "where you serious about what you said last night"
 umm, well duh... But he said that he would do whatever it takes to fix this, as long as I can wait, or work with him over the money issue.

I want to thank all of you that gave advice and ideas on different things to do, I really appreciate it! I didn't know that anyone cared about my lack of sex life enough to comment on it:)

by on Jan. 5, 2011 at 11:11 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MommiBoo
by on Jan. 5, 2011 at 11:13 AM

Your doctors tell you to get pregnant in order to have an orgasm?  I think you need new doctors. 

Do you ever have an "o" with yourself?  Discover on your own what works for you!

saraface5383
by Member on Jan. 5, 2011 at 11:13 AM
Have you tried doing it yourself? You need to explore and learn your body and how and what you like.
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jrsmom333
by on Jan. 5, 2011 at 11:14 AM
Im confused...u said ur hubby was ur first but you said you have been with two other guys???
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Ladybugmama86
by on Jan. 5, 2011 at 11:15 AM

No I was pregnant when I was asking them about it, and so they just brushed it off as hormones or something.

Quoting MommiBoo:

Your doctors tell you to get pregnant in order to have an orgasm?  I think you need new doctors. 

Do you ever have an "o" with yourself?  Discover on your own what works for you!


3boysngirl
by Member on Jan. 5, 2011 at 11:15 AM

get a sex toy and bring it in the room like a bullet but it on ur spot and have sex with ur hubby that will help with the big O maybe that will help ur sex drive? just a suggestion

Ladybugmama86
by on Jan. 5, 2011 at 11:16 AM

Yes, he was, when we first started dating I broke it off for a couple months and went a little crazy.

Quoting jrsmom333:

Im confused...u said ur hubby was ur first but you said you have been with two other guys???


phillipsa80
by on Jan. 5, 2011 at 11:16 AM

I totally agree.....

Quoting saraface5383:

Have you tried doing it yourself? You need to explore and learn your body and how and what you like.


Autumn19
by on Jan. 5, 2011 at 11:17 AM
Vibe it up girl!
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mrswillie
by on Jan. 5, 2011 at 11:18 AM


Quoting saraface5383:

Have you tried doing it yourself? You need to explore and learn your body and how and what you like.

This was my answer also.  How can you tell him what you like, if you don't know?  I would suggest a vibrator for starters.

maybaby22
by on Jan. 5, 2011 at 11:18 AM

I agree that you need to learn about your body and self stimulation.

Also, you may just have a very very low libido. There is medication for it if it came to that but you may also need some counseling. Maybe there is an underlying reason you don't enjoy sex.  Also, look up Dr. Laura Berman she is on Oprah and is a sex therapist. I know she has a few books out.

I'm sorry you are going through this!

 

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