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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

I am not apealling to him anymore...*cries* PIOG

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After 11 years....DH doesnt find me remotely appealing anymore and it kills me.

I dont know what to do , but the smallest part of me is angry....the rest is really hurt and saddened.

DH and I have let ourselves go since we first met, but I still love him and want him intimately. His personality has changed DRASTICALLY since we met, but it was expected since his father was the exact same way. I knew this pretty early on in our relationship and accepted it.

When I diet he turns into a Nazi practically cataloging everything I eat and do. Its horrible. If I were to diet again...I would have to do it in secret.

I just feel lost. Divorce is not an option...its not even something that has been discussed, so our marriage will remain. Just an FYI.

I just feel like it shouldnt be this way. I feel like maybe the fact that I fight for my beliefs so much that he is tired of it always being against his own. Not caring that I might be tired of his constant rambling about negative issues.Its stupid mundane stuff like work and other family members.

I just want him to want me back....*cries*

We havent had sex or affections towards each other in 4 months. He used to grab my butt or my boob from time to time or do some other cute "I want sex" show of affection during the course of the day when he was in the mood. Now nothing...I get a lot of negative remarks now instead....

Thanks for listening/reading...

~Michelle

CafeMom Tickers
by on Jan. 7, 2011 at 7:48 AM
Replies (11-18):
funwit5
by on Jan. 7, 2011 at 9:43 AM
Kill him with kindness!!! When he's says somthing rude say somthing nice with a smile. Show him u want sex don't tell him men are more visual, touch him throught out the day. It mite take a while but he'll come around.
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Wish2Be
by on Jan. 7, 2011 at 9:49 AM

 

Quoting Lottie925:

Get your son out of your room. He's over 1 now, he can handle a night by himself.  How can you have sex if you are NEVER alone? If your MIL is living with you... get a hotle for a night and do a great overnight date. Maybe schedule it after your haircut so you feel good.

 

 MIL lives in DS 's room. We only have 2 bedrooms for right now. We bought this condo before we even considered TTC and its value has gone down significantly from the price we purchased. MIL moved in the day DS was born. We can not sell yet. Its a terrible situation I know..

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Wish2Be
by on Jan. 7, 2011 at 10:02 AM

 

Quoting SnowboardMama4:

It sounds like you two are going through a phase, have you tried talking to him about everything?? I'm sure you probably have, but what's his reaction? And how do you bring it up?  Do you two "hang out" together just the two of you, ever? 

 We are only alone together on the way to and from work. 30 min drive each way.

I do bring it up, but DH says he cant change the way I feel about myself and I shouldnt keep track of how long its been since we were intimate. He seems frustrated with the conversation....even a little offended.

This month has been difficult for us financially...and our only car is on the fritz, so I understand the lack of connection...but what about the other 3 three months...ya know.

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youngmama18
by on Jan. 7, 2011 at 10:17 AM

hugs

Wish2Be
by on Jan. 7, 2011 at 1:47 PM

Thanks Everyone.

dove7
by on Jan. 7, 2011 at 1:52 PM

feel better

Serenity75
by on Jan. 7, 2011 at 1:54 PM

 It does sound like classic behavior for someone who might be.  Not saying he is though, but something just to consider and cross off you list of possibilities.

Quoting lapcounter:

Are you sure he is not having an affair? It sounds like he might be with some of the stuff he is saying and doing. Have you ever just gotten dressed up out of the blue and suggested a date? I hope it all works out for you.

 

marineg
by on Jan. 7, 2011 at 2:03 PM

When i had my first daughter it was the same way i gained weight, never got dressed up and i noticed his change but i really never did anything about it, after the next pregnancy i thought it was going to be worst but one day i said to myself if he were to leave me, whats going to happen to me? so i got into a diet with out saying anything and lost 80lbs now even if I'm here all day with the kids i get dressed put makeup on and he has drastically changed. Good luck dont do it for anyone do it for yourself and your kids :)

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