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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

HOW DO YOU...

Posted by on Jan. 22, 2011 at 1:44 PM
  • 27 Replies

HOW DO YALL WORK OUT THE ARGUEMENTS AND THE FIGHTING WITH YALL HUSBANDS AND TO MAKE THE MARRIAGE LAST. AND IS FIGHTING AND ARGUING A LOT COMMON IN THE FIRST YEAR OR THE 2ND YEAR OF MARRIAGE

by on Jan. 22, 2011 at 1:44 PM
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psych_mom
by on Jan. 22, 2011 at 1:54 PM

It is common because you are adjusting to someone else and you feel like you can be yourself and you or your spouse may surprise you with things you didn't know about them from before. They key is to talk about things and not to be accusatory in the way you say things. Using statements such as "I feel" help a lot more than blaming someone for something. There will always be arguments but if you are both willing to calm down and talk things through then they won't be so bad. 

Also make sure that you laugh together because laughter can help heal hurts. Don't live in the past, once an argument is over let it go and don't throw it up in the other's face again because that can keep a marriage from progressing forward. When you do this you are mentally stuck in that place and it will continually bother you. Don't let a misunderstanding or disagreement ruin your whole day together.

Make sure you hug, kiss and tell each other that you love each other often. A hug can help on so many levels no matter what you are going through.

CATsMom362
by on Jan. 22, 2011 at 1:56 PM

We started arguing 29 years ago and we still are.  LOL.  I  think the first year for sure is the hardest. You both are having to learn how the other one bends and then you learn how to compromise.  Without losing who you are as an individuale. But becoming better as a healthy couple in a  healthy relationship.  In other words pick your battles. We never got o bed mad.  He never lets me stay mad either.

LAKERA
by on Jan. 22, 2011 at 4:00 PM

THANKS FOR THE ADVICE

Quoting CATsMom362:

We started arguing 29 years ago and we still are.  LOL.  I  think the first year for sure is the hardest. You both are having to learn how the other one bends and then you learn how to compromise.  Without losing who you are as an individuale. But becoming better as a healthy couple in a  healthy relationship.  In other words pick your battles. We never got o bed mad.  He never lets me stay mad either.


LAKERA
by on Jan. 22, 2011 at 4:00 PM

THIS WAS WELL SAID THANKS

Quoting psych_mom:

It is common because you are adjusting to someone else and you feel like you can be yourself and you or your spouse may surprise you with things you didn't know about them from before. They key is to talk about things and not to be accusatory in the way you say things. Using statements such as "I feel" help a lot more than blaming someone for something. There will always be arguments but if you are both willing to calm down and talk things through then they won't be so bad. 

Also make sure that you laugh together because laughter can help heal hurts. Don't live in the past, once an argument is over let it go and don't throw it up in the other's face again because that can keep a marriage from progressing forward. When you do this you are mentally stuck in that place and it will continually bother you. Don't let a misunderstanding or disagreement ruin your whole day together.

Make sure you hug, kiss and tell each other that you love each other often. A hug can help on so many levels no matter what you are going through.


BiloxiDreams
by on Jan. 22, 2011 at 4:05 PM

I love my husband more than I love being right.  Plain and simple.  That, and when we don't agree on something I go ahead and do research on it and present him with what I found.  He is then left to make the decision and I support whatever he decides (even if it's not what I wanted).  He ALWAYS does what is best for our family.  Some of his decisions don't work out (ie getting out of the Marines two years ago) but I always support him and NEVER say I told you so.  We work it out together

prettylady81
by on Jan. 22, 2011 at 4:08 PM

BUMP!

Mommy_Burge
by on Jan. 22, 2011 at 4:15 PM

 We still fight and argue quite a bit after almost 4 years. LOL

Most of the time....we just dont speak to each other for a little while....we just kind of "let things go"...for little arguements anyway.

For big arguements....we usually get pissed....and then later on we will sit down and have an adult discussion about it. Without screaming and yelling. Without arguing. It doesn't always work....but if you can talk it out without starting another argument it usually works pretty well....for us anyway.

LAKERA
by on Jan. 22, 2011 at 7:43 PM

YEA THATS HOW ME AND MY HUBBY ARE

Quoting Mommy_Burge:

 We still fight and argue quite a bit after almost 4 years. LOL

Most of the time....we just dont speak to each other for a little while....we just kind of "let things go"...for little arguements anyway.

For big arguements....we usually get pissed....and then later on we will sit down and have an adult discussion about it. Without screaming and yelling. Without arguing. It doesn't always work....but if you can talk it out without starting another argument it usually works pretty well....for us anyway.


tnbjbeams444
by on Jan. 22, 2011 at 7:52 PM

We dont fight. We have been together almost 17 years and one thing is we never yell or call names. We talk. If one of us is mad we seperate for a few minutes or whatever and come back and talk it out.

Mandy575
by Member on Jan. 22, 2011 at 8:06 PM
We have been arguing for 15yrs. But we have an amazing marriage. We have our share of issues but it how you get through it that makes you stronger. We have been going through a pretty rough patch. And we had a job an hr away. We talked the whole time about the situation. We are doing better then we were before. We will go for a long drive and talk. It has worked for us for years. If you are going to go some where an be in the car for like an hour just talk about what ever you need to. Good Luck
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