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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Surviving infidelity - is "normal" possible?

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I found out about my husband's infidelity a year ago.  He has sworn it was a mistake, and will make it up to me every day of his life.  He has lived up to that promise.  In some ways, it seems our marriage is stronger.  But, I can't seem to get the thoughts of the affair out of my mind.  Perhaps if there was no further contact with the other woman, it would aid the healing, but as if to make matters worse, she became pregnant during the affair and now there is a child in the middle. 

I wanted out of the relationship when it first surfaced.  I knew it would be virtually impossible to work through this.  I read some of the posts from so many women who say "if he cheats, I'm out."  I was one of those.  Then it happened to me.  I do love him.  We have gone through counseling.  Most of all, I have a strong spiritual foundation and I understand the power of forgiveness.  There are good days - more of them as the months pass, but the bad days are unbearable and I wonder if I will ever feel normal again.

Any advice?

by on Jan. 23, 2011 at 4:16 PM
Replies (21-22):
nattysmommie
by on Jan. 23, 2011 at 5:39 PM

 i have been cheated on by my husband before we got married. i dont think it is possible to just erase her from your life if he is the father of this child that was concieved in the process of all this. if you love him and you feel like he can earn trust with you again you should work through it but if you feel like having this child in his life now is a problem i would step out honey. i had similar issues. the girl my husband cheated on me with told him she was pregnant. my husband told me straight up that she thought she was and i left as soon as i was able. come to find out she lied to him and then changed the story and says she wasnt pregnant just thought she was. well, thank god for that because she isnt a part of our lives anymore. she doesnt contact us and he doesnt go looking for her. we worked through it all. its been almost 4 years and we are happier then we've ever been. so i think you need to do what is safest for you. dont stress yourself to death.

mama_cullum
by on Jan. 23, 2011 at 5:40 PM

Im still trying to get there. I dont know if we can ever be "normal" but we are working on it.  Mu DH cheated.

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