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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

The worst kind of pain

Posted by on Jan. 23, 2011 at 6:09 PM
  • 17 Replies
Today is one of my bad days. I'm all depressed and emotional again over my DH cheating. It's been almost 6 months. Some days I feel better and like I'm moving forward then I will have a day like today and be set back again. I wonder if I will EVER get anywhere or if it will always be this roller coaster ride for me.

My ex was physically and sexually abusive to me. He even raped me. FOR TWO YEARS. Yet my DH cheating ONE time has caused me more pain than anything else I have ever been through :(
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by on Jan. 23, 2011 at 6:09 PM
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Replies (1-10):
LizardAgent
by on Jan. 23, 2011 at 6:10 PM

I'm so sorry; that's horrible to go through. If you ever need somebody to talk to, just holler. :)

DawnLauren
by on Jan. 23, 2011 at 6:12 PM

BUMP!

.Sugaree.
by on Jan. 23, 2011 at 6:40 PM
Ughhhh I'm still sitting here on the verge of tears :(
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Love2BaMom77
by on Jan. 23, 2011 at 6:48 PM

Sounds like the two of you need to go to counseling.  You need to explain your feelings to him and he needs to validate your feelings.  There is a lot to deal with when you don't have trust, especially after the other things you've been through in your previous relationship. 

Jezzeria
by on Jan. 23, 2011 at 6:49 PM
Im sorry sweetie. Stay strong. We're all here if you need someone to vent to. Feel free to message me anytime. It's gonna be ok. What is dh doing in all of this? Is he sorry and working on it with you?
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.Sugaree.
by on Jan. 23, 2011 at 7:06 PM
Yes he is sorry, it's not something he ever wanted to do and probably woul have never done if he wasnt drunk. It happened as part of a bigger problem, his alcoholism. He has quit drinking. He doesn't go out or have female friends (never did before either) so I really don't have a reason not to trust him. I'm afraid my insecurities are going to ruin our marriage or push him away, even though he says he understands

Quoting Jezzeria:

Im sorry sweetie. Stay strong. We're all here if you need someone to vent to. Feel free to message me anytime. It's gonna be ok. What is dh doing in all of this? Is he sorry and working on it with you?
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chaslee
by Bronze Member on Jan. 23, 2011 at 7:08 PM

I think that In time it will get better.  I have heard people say that it takes over a year to start feeling like you are okay.

mommy_carrillo
by on Jan. 23, 2011 at 7:17 PM
My DH cheated too that was almost 3years ago and i still have my bad days where he will have a job (he does flooring so its not an everyday job) and will be gone literally all day and my feelings of him being with another female instead of working still haunts me. Then he comes home with the amount i know he was to get paid for doing his job and i feel horrible. All of my ex's cheated on me but when i found out my DH did it hurt way worse. I also had a bf at 15 who raped me and it was no where as hurtful as DH cheating. It does get better and if your DH knows what he did was wrong and is truly sorry he will not leave. You have every RIGHT to be hurt and upset and he should understand that HE messed up not you. Its a good thing if he can see and understand HE is the one who did wrong and you are upset and he has no reason to leave. I hope things to get better soon and communication is VERY important when it comes to something like an affair.
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ShannaBee
by on Jan. 23, 2011 at 8:10 PM
(((hugs))). I'm sorry you're still having a difficult time with this.
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angelbaby8486
by on Jan. 23, 2011 at 8:14 PM
If he was raping you for 2 years why would you WANT to be with him. Don't waste your tears or your time, find someone who truley loves you.
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