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my husband and i have been together 3 yrs and been married for 1. we have a 3 month old little boy...... my dilemma is this: recently, for about the past 2 weeks i guess, my husband doesnt want to play or joke around with me,(which is unusual bc we always play and joke together), he never really loves on me anymore, doesnt help around the house anymore(other than cooking bc i dont know how), and he just makes me feel like he couldnt care less about me or my feelings bc he doesnt acknowledge my existence!! i told him how i felt yesterday and there has been no change! still pretty much ignoring me...then asking whats wrong with me?!

what am i supposed to do here? im so unhappy right now

by on Jan. 23, 2011 at 10:06 PM
Replies (11-19):
by on Jan. 23, 2011 at 10:22 PM

AFMF, thats also a great idea and thats usually how i tell him what im feeling. i know that mens brains are just wired to think differently than women do. but i will definitely write him.

by on Jan. 23, 2011 at 10:23 PM

Lovebeingamommy, you were helpful! you shared that you know what im going thru! and thanks for the beautiful flowers!

by on Jan. 23, 2011 at 10:25 PM

Maybe he is feeling left out or out of place with the new baby. We all go through these times. Just be patient with him and don't worry too much about it :)

by on Jan. 23, 2011 at 10:26 PM

Ask him again, talk to him and say I'm not a mind reader. Either you tell me what is going on, or I will start to worry and things that are I'm feeling wont be better. Its got to be stress, something that happened something. This is a change of mood, interest and things he did. Talk to him, and hope he comes through.

I know with my ex, when things were weird or felt off I talked to him. Asked him what's going on?? He'd play all defensive, and say I wasn't happy sounded like. I had to explain I'm not happy right now, since he was acting funny and that hurts. 8 yrs married and together 9 with three children. He acted bi polar sometimes, and drove me nuts! If you didn't see who he was to me, ex well that was HIS doing and us wanting to split. Keep talking to him girl, and don't let him shut himself off he distances away. If your married, and can't confide in your partner about your stresses or fears about something. Why is one married? 

by on Jan. 23, 2011 at 10:28 PM

Dh and I went through a phase like that. One day after trying and trying to tell him how I felt I kind of blew up at him. I told him that I was woman and I needed affection, and I shouldn't have to beg for it from my husband. It was a pretty big fight. But worth it. Come to find out he was feeling insecure about how he was taking care of us, he didn't feel like he was doing enough money wise. I don't know how that turned into him ignoring me but whatever. I just told him that he was doing more than enough and that he took care of his family VERY well. And now I make it a point to thank him for all of his hard work. In turn... I get lots of kisses. :) Hang in there girl, it will get better some way or another.

by on Jan. 24, 2011 at 12:28 AM

im sorry he is acting that way. i understand its confusing. believe mne, i would be stumped. but i would tell him exactly how you feel and that you want to be there for him but you can when he wont tell you whats wrong. hopefully things work out and he can be back to normal soon.

im sending you hugs and good thoughts :)

by on Jan. 24, 2011 at 2:57 PM

Is he working overtime? Have there been layoffs at his job? He might be worried about that.

by on Jan. 24, 2011 at 10:00 PM
Write him a letter! Tell him EVERYTHING You want to tell him. Prepare a special date for him away from the house if possible, he won't ignore you then & you guys can work things out :-) God bless yoi
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by on Jan. 24, 2011 at 10:43 PM

 the only problem with "trying" this...especially when there is a child involved is that u cannot just "try" it..u have to be prepared to walk out and if he doesnt go after u, u have to be able to keep going...dont let him call ur not saying leave him..but dont test him if ur not sure if hell come running after u or not..u cant be playing those kind of games when theres a baby involved..what you need to do is sit down and have a serious talk with him to find out whats going on..there mite b something going on with him at work or something that hes not telling you..cuz u said that he asks u whats wrong with you..he is showing a little interest..just not as much as you first and act later.

Quoting AFMF920:

 I am so sorry your going through this hun! Ive been in your situation before (minus the child) and I finally told DH to act honestly that you want me around and quit making me feel like you don't care if I walk out the door or I'm walking out the door and not looking back, as hard as it would be for me. After that last conversation, DH makes sure I know he loves me, and wants me around. Its not an everyday thing but thats what makes it real. I wish you nothing but the best! ((HUGS))


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