I am stuck in a rut and I don't know what to do?!?!?!
Today I found an email from DH to his ex-girlfriend and not just any ex-girlfriend, the one he left to be with me.
Background: Ok we met in college and one day after class we had together he walked me to my dorm and he asked me out and I said yes. A week later I find out he was dating this girl but she lived an hour away where he was staying so i confronted him about. He told her in front of me that it was over.
Forward to pregnancy with first DS: He left me when I was 5 mo pregnant with our son and moved back up where he was staying and he was "dating her". The day of my baby shower be package his sh*t and moved down with me and told be he didn't want anything to do with her. ( they never had sex)
Forward to pregnancy with twins: By this time we were well married and when I was 6 mo pregnant I found out he was sending her emails saying how he missed her. I moved in with my mom and took out son with me. He appolized and said he never intended to go see her and she meant sh*t to him. (she was still an hour away and had a Bfriend already)
Now: She was seeing a guy and now she had a baby girl by him. Apperantly he was abusive and she is single now. Today I found an email telling her how he wanted to see her and that.........(here is where I am hurt)...........he loved her.
I know he hasn't seen her in three year ( our three yr ann is this feb) and I know he would never leave me and he loves me but I am still really hurt by this! I love him more then anything and I just want to know why he is telling her this. I was where he then told her he didn't want anything to go with her but how can something like "i love you" just slip? I guess I just needed to vent. I have alot to think about in this marriage and I don't even know where to begin. He already gave me his passwords and phone to go through but I don't think its going to do any good. I didn't ask for them he just gave them to me to "assure" me.
What do you ladies think of my situation? What would you all do?