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Need advice.. He's so selfish!

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I've been so frustrated and unhappy.. I just don't know what to do anymore...

I'm engaged and we are living together... I do so much.. I go to work, cook, clean, provide everything.. I give him massages - I will do this for hours and have never ever complained.. I cater to him and meet every need.. I try to do everything to make him happy...

but... I just hate the way he treats me.. I'm not happy.. He doesn't work.. keeps telling me that he's looking for work... but he sits around all day long and either plays on his Ipod or watches tv.. He doesn't help with anything.. not even taking the trash out..

He can't even do simple things to even try to make me happy.. For one, I am very romantinc and love everything that goes with that.. love affection.. I do love having sex with my man.. but he acts like it is such a huge hassle.. he would rather me give him a bj then for him to actually have sex with me... then when I bring anything up, he says stuff like thats all I want, thats all I think about..

he wakes me up in the middle of the night.. I didn't get much sleep that night as it is from working late.. then I have to get up at 6am and start my day again.. so he wakes me up in the middle of the night and tells me he wants a bj.. I am a really nice woman.. Here I'm thinking that he wants me, and thinking he is going to be intimate with me.. I tell him to give me a few minutes to wake up..
He gets his coat on I ask him what he's doing and he said going to smoke.. I'm said ok you go smoke and give me a chance to wake up...

when he comes back I'm awake and ready.. He's like.. never mind I just jacked off in the bathroom.. I was so so pissed off.. It's like damn man! He never ever thinks about me or my feelings...

I feel like If I'm doing all this... He is treated like a king, I should at least be happy.. I have to beg for his attention.. beg for his love... I hate it!

I feel like I'm not good enough for him.. cause when I bring things up that upset me, he either twists it around and then he's mad and it's my fault, or he threatens to leave me.. or says he just might have to find another woman who would treat him better..

I don't know what to do... I feel like I'm a door mat and he's just walklng all over me..

I cry all the time and I feel like I should be happy... He tells me that he does put my feelings above his, but I'm just not seeing it..
He says I'm just doing all this stuff and being good to him because I want something out of the deal.. All I want is to just feel loved, wanted and appreciated.. Is there anything wrong with that??

Do you have any advise???

I'm at my wits end and don't know wht to do anymore.. I don't know if there is anything I can do or say to get him to change, because I do love him..

He use to be really sweet and nice... but the past few months he has not...

Thank you for any help or advice

~Toni~

by on Feb. 2, 2011 at 4:08 PM
Replies (41-41):
LoVin_BN_MommY
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 11:29 AM
Leave now! If you're unhappy now you will always be unhappy. And I don't believe in asking a person to change. If they don't want to grow as a person to do things to make themselves better. Then they will never be able to give you what you need emotionally, sexually, or financially. Sorry to be so blunt but these are red flags and if you have to ask you already know the answer. Good Luck
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