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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

My Inlaws are going to destroy us

Posted by on Feb. 5, 2011 at 7:19 PM
  • 94 Replies

I am still hurt and upset. My MIL ruined my daughter's birth day.

I had a birth plan months before I gave birth (DD was born Jan 26th). My DH and my sister were the ONLY ones who were going to be in the birthing room with me. My DH because he's my husband, and my sister because she was my birth coach. All of a sudden MIL comes into the room. And I had told DH I did NOT want her in there. I didn't want her stressing me out. She's been annoying and overbearing my whole pregnancy and I did not want the stress. I was mad at DH for letting her in there and giving her the room number. When it came time for me to push my doctor came in and asked MIL to leave.

She got mad because she had to leave after she'd already been told our birth plan months in advance plus DH re-reminded her the night before I went into labor. She began to call me a bitch and DH an asshole. My epidural had quit working so I was crying and she called me a pussy. She stormed to the waiting room and began badmouthing me and DH and harassing the nurses because she kept trying to get back into our room. She threw a big ol' fit with lots of cussing and badmouthing us.

Afterwards she said she wanted nothing to do wih me or Michaela. She said DH and his son(my SS) could visit her but  he is not to ever bring me or our daughter around her. She said SS is her only grandchild.

Yesterday she called DH and he made me talk to her. He shoved the phone in my face. I was so mad and upset. I did NOT want to talk to her. She had hurt and upset me and I was through with her and that side of the family. She kept apologizing and saying she loved me and Michaela and wanted to be a part of our lives. I'm just not big enough of a person to forgive her yet and I still want nothing to do with MIL and since she said mean things about DD, I don't want her around DD.

I am tired of the roller coaster ride with the inlaws. They are always treating DH shitty, and always disrespecting me. Then they start being "nice" and kissing ass and DH always runs back into a relationship with them. I am tired of getting hurt by them. I no longer trust them. They have done so many crappy things to us it's unreal. I don't want them hurting my daughter and I'm just tired of their drama. I get so mad when DH answers there phone calls. When they started their drama on the day our DD was born, DH said he was done with his parents and they'd finally gone too far. Now he is talking to him and even asked if I wanted to have dinner with them tomorrow and asked how I'd feel if one weekend his dad came over to shoot guns with him. I cannot stand his parents, I hate them. I don't want anything to do with them, I don't want them in my daughter's life. I feel like my hate for them will destroy my relationship with DH because he loves his parents no matter how shitty they treat him.

by on Feb. 5, 2011 at 7:19 PM
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Replies (1-10):
LoveMYtwo3582
by on Feb. 5, 2011 at 7:21 PM

Ditto....the in-law roller coasters suck!  I refuse to do the in-law amusement park stuff anymore...enough is enough!

Ohio.SAHMof2
by on Feb. 5, 2011 at 7:29 PM

Oh sweetie pie I'm so sorry! 

Manda-Nicole92
by on Feb. 5, 2011 at 7:38 PM

On a small level I understand. And on a huge level I agree with you. If my MIL had done that I would have flat told her to her face to get lost and to bad that she changed her mind about being in mine and my daughters life because I didn't change my mind about wanting her there!

I know its hard. :( And I hope it gets better.

NevadaSky
by on Feb. 5, 2011 at 7:44 PM


Quoting LoveMYtwo3582:

Ditto....the in-law roller coasters suck!  I refuse to do the in-law amusement park stuff anymore...enough is enough!

Haven't spoken to the IL's for 6 years and it has been a godsend to our relationship!!

I'm so sorry you had to go thru that on 1 of the most important days of your life.

Congrats on the LO!!!

kermsgirlie
by on Feb. 5, 2011 at 7:48 PM

My sons gf is going to give birth in Sept. Im hoping they will want me in there.I will respect their wishes but part of me wants to tell you to cop this woman a break.I am going through a very difficult time,learning when to give my opinion and when to shut up.Her family is horrible.They told her not to breast feed bc the kid will become a pain in the ass.They told her not to bother with lamaze.My son wants to go and learn and experience everything.she is lucky to have such a great guy.All the women in her family are alone with a kid,on welfare and most on drugs.So when I read your thing,I get it about calling you those things but the other side (God I feel old)45,anyway I hope she doesnt feel this way abut me when I give my opinion....You scared me!!

freshmom88
by on Feb. 5, 2011 at 7:49 PM
um no i'd say forget about them. She was calling you a ''pussy'' while u were in labor!!? OMG i'd let her have it!!
It may come to a point where u tell dh it''s u or them... Sad as it is.
I am so sry u are dealing w/this :-(
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kermsgirlie
by on Feb. 5, 2011 at 7:49 PM

oh in fairness my MIL was dead before I met her,but her family fdrove me crazy....ok Im understanding a little more....

Summerlion1123
by on Feb. 5, 2011 at 8:02 PM

 I would never tell him that he can't be a part of his family's life but if it were me I would tell him that only HE is going to have a relationship with them, that you want nothing to do with them anymore and they won't have anything to do with your child. You don't deserve any of that and he should be sticking up for you, not insisting that you forgive them after that.

Summerlion1123
by on Feb. 5, 2011 at 8:04 PM

 As long as you aren't disrespectful when you give your opinion or don't shove your opinions at them then I'm sure she won't think that way about you! It's the disrespect that's a problem. Like you said, you'll respect their wishes. That's completely different.

Quoting kermsgirlie:

My sons gf is going to give birth in Sept. Im hoping they will want me in there.I will respect their wishes but part of me wants to tell you to cop this woman a break.I am going through a very difficult time,learning when to give my opinion and when to shut up.Her family is horrible.They told her not to breast feed bc the kid will become a pain in the ass.They told her not to bother with lamaze.My son wants to go and learn and experience everything.she is lucky to have such a great guy.All the women in her family are alone with a kid,on welfare and most on drugs.So when I read your thing,I get it about calling you those things but the other side (God I feel old)45,anyway I hope she doesnt feel this way abut me when I give my opinion....You scared me!!

 

etown2reds
by on Feb. 5, 2011 at 8:08 PM

How old are they? Maybe they'll die soon. Then you'll be rid of them for good. If the MIL dies, the FIL will find somebody to take care of him and leave y'all alone. If the FIL dies, though, you are in hell till she kicks it.

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