See what CafeMoms are saying about saving time this holiday season..
My husband is 10 years older than I am and has experienced life a lot more. He's been to other countries while in the military, had many more lovers, and was/is a wild man biker. The problem comes when he brags about these things. For example, he once had sex on his motorcycle. I jokingly asked if we could do that one day and he said no. I then got a lecture on how dangerous it was. Now...I was kidding, but it ticked me off. Why do I get told "no" when some other woman got to try it?! There are other things like this (sex in bathrooms, outdoors) that he won't even consider with me. I'm not really sure I want to do these things, but it's the fact that I don't get the choice that hurts.
Another situation is him bragging about how he gave great advice to other men who just didn't understand women. The main issue right now is Valentine's day. He loves to tell this story about how a young man said his girlfriend told him V-day wasn't special and not to worry about it. His advice to this young man was don't listen. V-day isn't special to her only because no one has made it special and this is her way of asking you to change that. Well, the young man didn't listen and was single shortly there after. Other men have supposedly listened to him and continued on in relationship bliss. The catch...it's been YEARS since he's given me a special V-day. If I don't plan things, nothing happens. When we first got together, he was really great. Then, money was tight and I had to ask him to back off for a bit, but now that things are o.k. he still doesn't do anything but apologize after I'm disappointed. He uses this money issue or some other excuse to do nothing. It's really painful.
I start to feel like either his stories are all lies or I'm "too little too late" in his life. Any advice? I've tried asking him not to brag/tell these stories, but he forgets. Every year for the past 5 years or so this V-day fight happens and it's gotten where I dred the holiday. I thought he had made good this year, but I learned last night that I was wrong. I really don't know what to do.