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Tempers

Posted by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 7:44 PM
  • 8 Replies

 I have been married to my hubby for 9 years now. We have 2 kids and one on the way. He is a great husband and a great father. But my problem seems to be his temper lately. He is military and has spent time in Iraq. He losses his temper really fast with my 4 year daughter. Like today I had to put myself inbetween him and her. And that scared me alot. I have never seen him like that before. He didn't hurt her just scared her. But I wonder what would have happened if I wasn't here. We have had our problems but we have worked them out but I have no clue what to do about his temper.

I know that we were raised different. My family never hit or even came close but his family, his father was abusive when they were growing up. So I know he gets it from that. I just need to know how to talk to him about it. And should we see a family counselor? I need to nip this in the butt before it really hits that fan.

by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 7:44 PM
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Replies (1-8):
Supervane
by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 7:46 PM

I think seeing a counselor would be the best Idea.... Maybe all of his childhood fears are raising up again now that he is an adult.

suziq1982
by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 9:05 PM

I would sit and talk to him about this one day when hes not already upset.  I also recommend that he seek anger management.

Armywife1998
by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 10:13 PM

 I am in the same boat. Dh returned home from his 7th deployment right before Halloween and he was horrible.  We have been working thru A LOT of issues but one big one is his temper after this past deployment.  Here at the post we are at our ACS has Military Life Consultants. They are free and do not have to report to command for any reason other than suicidal thoughts from a service member. We are using them for our marriage counseling as well as our family counseling. Things are slowly getting better.  Also there is Military Source One that you can use via web cam or via phone for counseling.

MixedCooke
by Silver Member on Feb. 21, 2011 at 1:59 AM

Could it be PSD from serving in Iraq?

MrsTantaros
by on Feb. 21, 2011 at 2:08 AM

He needs to go see someone ASAP!

Tamara_Seamon
by on Feb. 21, 2011 at 10:27 AM

I know part of it is from the ptsd from Iraq but I believe alot of it comes from how he was raised. His father was military too and didn't have a problem laying his hands on all the kids.

He did tell me last night after the kids went to bed that he does know that he did cross the line. And that it scared him too that he could loss it like that. I will talk to him about maybe talking to someone about his temper.

silverdawn99
by on Feb. 21, 2011 at 10:47 AM

wow. i am going through the same thing. hubby is a great father but his temper can get the best of him. he grew up in a yelling and hitting family. he just does this with our five year old son. i told him he does it one more time i was leaving him. i dont want my son or our other two children to be afraid of their daddy.

2rays0fsun
by on Feb. 21, 2011 at 12:25 PM

I agree about counseling. you should approach him when he's calm & you two have a quiet time to talk and raise the issue. don't accuse him just ask him about it and see if he would be open to seeing a counselor. It sounds like he just started acting like this (?) so it could be PSD. I'm sure he doesn't feel good about it either... good luck

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