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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Why is hubby so turned off?

Posted by on Feb. 22, 2011 at 4:13 PM
  • 15 Replies

So since I had my DD 4 mths ago my DH has wanted nothing to do with sex :-( granted I had a rough recovery but once we got the ok we did it that once and then one other time like 3 wks later. I don't know what's going on, he used to want it at least once every other day. I was ok with it at first because I was so tired and exhausted after caring for my DD all day and lack of sleep, but now I'm actually starting to take it personally and it's lowering my self esteem. I know it's not baby weight I weigh less now than I did when I got pregnant, I'm wondering if it has to do with the whole "A baby came out of my vagina thing." He wasn't the kind of hubby that wanted to be "below my waist" when I was laboring. When I looked at pics of my DD being born months later he said he wasn't "ready" to look at them yet. I make comments here and there to hint around but I think I'm just going to sit down and tell him it's starting to get me down. I just feel like crap enough with just having a baby and all the hormones I would just hope he's want to be intimate with me. Has anyone else had this problem? Do you think he's just tired? I just wanted to know if anyone else went through this? Thanks Ladies. Oh and please don't suggest cheating my DH and love each other very much and I know it's not that.

Tammi


by on Feb. 22, 2011 at 4:13 PM
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Replies (1-10):
tnbjbeams444
by on Feb. 22, 2011 at 4:16 PM

Why would anyone suggest cheating? wow.

yasbobari
by on Feb. 22, 2011 at 4:18 PM
I think he might be a little " traumatized" about what he saw, some men just cannot handle or werent prepared to see some things, also, if you had a hard recovery he just maybe thinks hes going to hurt you, and obviously doesnt want to. If he keeps habing trouble, go to counseling together. I havent gone through this, but i think its preety common, good luck mama, just be a little more patient and dont take it personally.
yasbobari
by on Feb. 22, 2011 at 4:19 PM
Having*
ShannaBee
by Platinum Member on Feb. 22, 2011 at 4:19 PM

Congrats on the baby, she is beautiful.

Have you talked to your DH about all this?

Mommy102710
by on Feb. 22, 2011 at 4:19 PM

Ha...you'd be surprised at the comments I've read from advice here. I say the same thing WOW....so I didn't want people to suggest that it could be that that's all.

Emily197
by on Feb. 22, 2011 at 4:21 PM

wow well cheatings not the answer try talking to him about it. having kids puts a strain on our sex lives but there are ways to fix that try changing things up alittle wear a sexy outfit that you know he loves on you i know that when i do that my hubby cant resist

Mommy102710
by on Feb. 22, 2011 at 4:22 PM

He did admit at one point that he was afriad to hurt me. That could be part of it, I do think it was alot more than he expected LOL It even hurt my feelings alot after the delivery because I felt like he didn't want to see his DD be born, but I've come to terms with the fact that he's just one of those kinds of guys that would rather not see that kind of stuff, lord knows I am, I wouldn't look in a mirror or touch her head coming out so I can't really judge LOL! I haven't talked to him yet but plan on it, He always listens when I sit down and have something serious to say. So far I've only thrown out comments, like "lord knows you'll never go down there again!" LOL....

Emily197
by on Feb. 23, 2011 at 10:32 PM

give him some time it sounds like he need to get used to everything thats changing. try to be supportive 

ruebensmommy08
by on Feb. 23, 2011 at 10:36 PM

i had the same problem, but finally I found out that for some very strange reason, my SO said I felt 'tighter' after having our son, Idk if I got sewed up really good or what, so he felt he couldn't last as long as before and was embarrassed about it

maybaby22
by on Feb. 23, 2011 at 10:37 PM

I know that after I had DD sex was a little painful at first and DH said I would make a face like he was hurting me and he couldn't stand to think that what he was doing was hurting me. I had to explain that it was ok and it was going to be tender for a bit. Just talk to DH

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