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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Why is hubby so turned off?

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So since I had my DD 4 mths ago my DH has wanted nothing to do with sex :-( granted I had a rough recovery but once we got the ok we did it that once and then one other time like 3 wks later. I don't know what's going on, he used to want it at least once every other day. I was ok with it at first because I was so tired and exhausted after caring for my DD all day and lack of sleep, but now I'm actually starting to take it personally and it's lowering my self esteem. I know it's not baby weight I weigh less now than I did when I got pregnant, I'm wondering if it has to do with the whole "A baby came out of my vagina thing." He wasn't the kind of hubby that wanted to be "below my waist" when I was laboring. When I looked at pics of my DD being born months later he said he wasn't "ready" to look at them yet. I make comments here and there to hint around but I think I'm just going to sit down and tell him it's starting to get me down. I just feel like crap enough with just having a baby and all the hormones I would just hope he's want to be intimate with me. Has anyone else had this problem? Do you think he's just tired? I just wanted to know if anyone else went through this? Thanks Ladies. Oh and please don't suggest cheating my DH and love each other very much and I know it's not that.

Tammi


by on Feb. 22, 2011 at 4:13 PM
Replies (11-15):
suziq1982
by on Feb. 23, 2011 at 10:42 PM

I'm sure when you talk to him things will get cleared up. I also would initiate sex when you are ready to do it. He may be off track since when you came home with baby and was tired with baby some and wasn't ready he may not know when is right time with you anymore. Your baby is beautiful by the way.

Jezzeria
by on Feb. 23, 2011 at 10:44 PM
I think she meant dont suggest dh is cheating. Not that she cheat on him
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Mommy102710
by on Feb. 24, 2011 at 9:17 AM

Thanks ladies!! Yes Jezzeria thank you for clarifying, there is surly no cheating going on. I talked to DH a bit last night about it and I told him I thought maybe he was having a hard time with the whole "Baby came out of my vagina" LOL we laughed about it but then he said, "Wow I never thought of that, maybe your right." I think I'll try initiating it a little more to let him know enough time has passed and we can start trying again. We also talked about how we don't have that "connection" time anymore meaning that our time we always connected and talked and became close was at night before we fell asleep or in the morning when we woke up and we don't ever go to bed or wake up together anymore so when we aren't feeling connected it's hard for either of us to be intimate so we are going to work on that!! Thank you girls!

hotmoore
by on Feb. 24, 2011 at 9:23 AM

well i went through something similar. i am a stay at home mom and my husband works almost 7 days a week. i cant remember how many months my son was but my husband who usually begs me for it was rejecting me and it got me really down. so we started fighting and i told him how i was feeling. it turned out that he was just really stressed and tired. it didnt have anything to do with me. so i suggest just sitting down and telling him that he needs to let u know what is going on and that it hurts. if u can let me know how it goes. and im here if anymore questions.

ScarySherry2
by on Feb. 24, 2011 at 9:24 AM

I wish I had advice to give you on this. My DH said that seeing our son come out of me was the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. I saw the pictures. I didn't see anything beautiful about it. But hey, that's just me. LoL. But consider yourself lucky that it didn't go the other way. My DH convinced me to try for sex after just 2 weeks. Talk about pain!!

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