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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Need advise about DH & his female boss/partner....*Update*

Posted by on Mar. 30, 2011 at 3:02 PM
  • 40 Replies

My DH & his boss work hand-in-hand with each other for the small company they have.  He's not technically a "partner" but she treats him like one w/ all the responsibilties etc but not the pay. Lol. K?


Well, ever since he started working for her, she has always come up w/ excuses to pay him a few days to a week late.  He got his money but then she would be in the hole again the next time to pay him etc etc.  It has gotten sooooo bad with him & added responsibilities b/c a co-worker quit b/c of money.  Still, no pay increase for an added job he has to do now.  :(


I'm so hurt & crying b/c we have a DD that had to give up gymnastics due to these money issues.  It just breaks my heart but I know sometimes cutting costs helps alot & so on!  When I talk to DD about the money & how much she owes him, he blows up in my face verbally saying he's getting it, and getting it.  Buuuuuut, when he told me today that she hasn't paid him for almost 4 weeks (this Fri), I almost lost my lunch.  I asked him what was the hold up and why so long and he yelled at me again saying he'll figure it out w/ her & she keeps promising to pay him. Huh??!!  K, maybe he's having "man syndrome" & being the man of the house etc & has alot of feelings going thru him but his boss also knows that we are pregnant & due in a few months, so ever little bit counts w/ us. 


Yesterday & today are perfect examples.....  She wanted to go talk w/ some clients etc & he went w/ her )like their always together)....another day...LOL.  Anyways, while I was dealing w/ a 10yr old getting 4 teeth worked on, they come pulling up in her truck laughing, smoking cig's, etc in my face.  I smile but turn the other way.  She obviously had a conscience b/c she called my DH later & asked him if I was mad at her..... FOR WHAT???  Unless you feel guilty about something, then why ask!!!!  So then this morning, she calls him & they have to go out AGAIN.... but she asks if he can drive his truck...  I told him we have NO money for gas if she's not going to pay you.  Soooo....he blew up on me again.  I just watched him sit outside for 30 mins waiting on her so he wouldn't be around me. 


*I'm Crying*  I have no idea what is going on w/ our household & marriage anymore!!!  I feel like he likes being w/ her b/c they're always laughing etc w/ each other & not me anymore......  I'm so lost & crushed inside. 

*UPDATE*
He came home upset w/ me b/c he said I'm an embarrasment to him. I guess he said that b/c when we talked earlier, I told him to "Grow a pair" & tell her regardless of his "PRIDE" & demand his money or I will call her myself (since we know each other & our families) & ask what is going on & I'll tell her about our money situation. He didn't like that so much & said he's done w/ me & wants a divorce & for me to find someone that has "A pair". Ohhhh boy!


 


 

by on Mar. 30, 2011 at 3:02 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Rebeccaroe
by on Mar. 30, 2011 at 3:11 PM
Wow I'm sorry sounds like something may not be quite right. Who deals with the money you or him or both. I ask cause dh does with us I never know what we have unless he tells me or I ask. But he makes sure bills are paid and we have everything we need. He may feel stressed at home and you both probably are that maybe why what you see between him and her may seem worse than it might be. Not much advice though sorry
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Vegasmom78
by on Mar. 30, 2011 at 3:26 PM

 

Quoting Rebeccaroe:

Wow I'm sorry sounds like something may not be quite right. Who deals with the money you or him or both. I ask cause dh does with us I never know what we have unless he tells me or I ask. But he makes sure bills are paid and we have everything we need. He may feel stressed at home and you both probably are that maybe why what you see between him and her may seem worse than it might be. Not much advice though sorry

I use to take care of all the bills but then one day it just seemed to stop for me.  We both always knew how much money we had b/c of doing things or buying stuff.  So that was never an issue until he started working w/ her.  We have always been a happy couple (normal couple) but this was a new "him" I haven't seen before.  His boss knows me b/c all of us use to hang out when he first started working for her but I decided not to anymore b/c of her "ways of being".  Just didn't feel comfortable to me.  But my DH on the other hand wants to have her around or involve her in things we do.  I put my foot down & told him it was either me (his family) or her...that I was tired of her always always being invited by him to pretty much everything....  Guess he chose to be away from me & more around her everyday! (At least for the past 2-3 weeks). 

number1mommy
by Bronze Member on Mar. 30, 2011 at 3:41 PM

 I dont have any advice or comment but know I care and hope things get better...hugs

CameronsMommy23
by on Mar. 30, 2011 at 3:49 PM
Maybe he needs to look for a new job! I would be upset too! I hope you can work things out soon! We're here for ya meantime!! *hugs*
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EireLass
by on Mar. 30, 2011 at 4:27 PM

Wow. Well, my mind immediately goes to infidelity. And she can hold his pay over his head.....blackmail, know what I mean? You could call the Labor Department in your state and report her for unpaid wages. Of course, your husband would know you did it, and you'd have to deal with someone who isn't complaining about it. Of course, I don't know your whole situation, I'm just going by what I'm reading here. I've never worked without getting paid in one way or another. I took a car, jewelry, and farm animals when the client "couldn't pay".  

Desirae1394
by on Mar. 30, 2011 at 4:43 PM

It sounds shaddy to me as well. :( I don't know what I would do though... you don't want to confront him...

Vegasmom78
by on Mar. 30, 2011 at 4:55 PM
I dont want to assume infidelity but.....alot of signs are there, at least to me since he has not acted like this before. Just boggles me Why she gives a rat's a#@ if I were mad at her and asked him! Guilty of something?? Probably hates her messed up marriage w/ her wife of a husband that she likes a "Man's man". She's barking up the wrong tree! But then again....if he likes this attention from HER, then looks like I've got bags to pack! HIS!!!!!! Lol.
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crazytexan
by Member on Mar. 30, 2011 at 5:01 PM

((((( hugs )))))

I'm not sure whats going on, but the fact that she hasn't paid him in 4 weeks and he isn't looking for another job is a huge red flag. You have a right to know what's going on.

tiger_tatted1
by on Mar. 30, 2011 at 5:07 PM

Okay. I would be very worried. WHY would he be blowing up at you for asking about YOUR(yours and his) Money??? That is money that he is owed. What I would be worried about it why isnt it a big deal to him? Is something more going on? That sounds sooo off to me. No way in HELL I would allow ANY employer to back hold that much money of mine. And there is no way in hell I would do that to an employee. My husband and I owned restaurants(we sold them) and  I know what its like not being able to pay employees on time. It sucks. But if she NEEDS him all the time and they are spending a lot of time together something definately isnt right IMHO!

Sorry, And good Luck!

ShannaBee
by Platinum Member on Mar. 30, 2011 at 5:12 PM

That's so not right!

I worked for a company like that. My boss would tell me not to cash my paycheck until X day. My coworker, he didn't pay for four pay periods! And my paycheck bounced once!

Shady...shady business.

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