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Interacial couples ?

Posted by on Mar. 30, 2011 at 7:58 PM
  • 29 Replies

THIS IS NOT A DEBATE POST.... PLEASE NO BASHING !!

My sister is 23 and has always dated black men (well some boys I guess) . There have been times when she has been so upset at others reactions that she has gotten in physical fights, she has been depressed about what others think as well ( to the point she took a bottle of pills trying to die) I suggested that maybe she is not mature enough for this sort of relationship if she is not able to accept that some people are very opinionated, some people are just stupid and if she is happy that is all that matters. Well when I said that she said I was racist ! She said I was just saying that trying to get her to quit dating black men. That could not be further from the truth, I just wanted her to be happy, and not be so violent with others that she ends up in jail, or so sad she tries to kill herself!

Now onto my question.... How do you deal with others strong opions (sometimes stupidity) about interacial relationships ?

AGAIN THIS IS NOT A BASHING POST!





by on Mar. 30, 2011 at 7:58 PM
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Replies (1-10):
BonitaM
by Platinum Member on Mar. 30, 2011 at 8:03 PM

I don't deal with them...I ignore them.  I've never had anyone say anything about DH and me but even if they had I'm not sure I'd notice.  He has all of my attentions.  My parents and my sister are also in interacial relationships so the people we love most obviously are supporting us and nobody else matters.

LoveMyLife2010
by on Mar. 30, 2011 at 8:06 PM
I just figure everyone has there opinion on things. As long as you are happy thats all that should matter, if others opinions bother you that much maybe your not happy?!?!? Good luck!
LatashaNicole
by on Mar. 30, 2011 at 8:08 PM

 I'm in one so that answer your ?.My mom&dad has been in one for 24yr together and it been alot of problems on my mom side about my father and vice versa for my mom but they stick it out.

andiecandie
by on Mar. 30, 2011 at 8:11 PM
I dnt care im mixed I consider myself mainly black cause that's what I identify with even though I am half and my husband is mexican I get asked all the time especially at work if im with a black guy I tell them no and he is mexican and they always say o how did that happend black and mexicans don't mix or something dumb like that they think mexicans can only be with mexicans for somereason lol and they r shocked its no where near what iv heard about blacks dating whites or whatever I have a cousin full black who gets mad when she sees blacks and whites together also my sister full black has always said she will never date out side her race she was a bit racist for awhile only when two different races were together and ironically she married a spanish guy and people always say she married him for money so I mean there will always be dirty looks so who cares as long as know one is hurting ne one sorry so long
rHOPEb
by on Mar. 30, 2011 at 8:13 PM

Just make sure your sister knows you support and love her at all times.  I hate she's going thru so much.  She definitely needs some "thicker" skin if that is going to bother her.  But I thought more people were more accepting.  I don't know....guess I don't look.  Anyway.  The couple across the street from us is inter-racial and HIS family disowned him (he is black).  He has not talked to his father since he has dated/married his wife.  Its so sad how society is today.  People will ALWAYS have opinions (strong or quiet).....yes it is hard to over-look or just ignore them, but that's what needs to be done.  Maybe if you tell your sister she needs to be the "bigger person" and just smile, nod, and walk away?  Hope things get better for you guys!!!  Good luck and God bless.......

lauriebash
by on Mar. 30, 2011 at 8:19 PM

 I wish there was a way to make people stop being so closed-minded. It's not going to happen. Your sister is going to hear comments, that's part of being in the relationships that she chooses. I wish I had the answer for you. People are just stupid.

PaganMomma40
by on Mar. 30, 2011 at 8:20 PM

I've noticed that there are still some people who really are against interracial relationships. I am in one, have been for most of my life and I know members of my family that didn't agree with my choice but still have accepted it. His family had a harder time of it...His father never had this problem but his mother and sister were dead set against it from the start. I hope your sister know(I hope you tell her) that no matter who she dates or is in a relationship with the only thing that matters is her happiness. You cannot fight every single person who may not agree with you and in the long run she will be in trouble for it.

  I don't think you were being racist at all. Love and concern for your sister is what I read and I hope you can help her grow to understand why you said what you said. Good luck.,

Goof-Emom
by on Mar. 30, 2011 at 8:22 PM

I agree, although I have the view that life is too short to let others make you miserable. Do what makes you happy and to hell with what people think

Quoting LoveMyLife2010:

I just figure everyone has there opinion on things. As long as you are happy thats all that should matter, if others opinions bother you that much maybe your not happy?!?!? Good luck!


HotMomma2622
by Bronze Member on Mar. 30, 2011 at 8:30 PM

I'm a white women who is about to be married to a black man who is the love of my life in Septemberof this yr. My mother is also married to a black man. They been together for the past 20 yrs.  I see it like this, if you are not making a positive influence in my life or you care about me you can kick rocks . Cause either way this is my life. Not yours. I can be with a red, yellow, green man for all I care and as long as I'm happy and everything is good It should not matter. So for the people who don't agree with the kind of man I chose they can kick rocks cause I don't need them. If people got time to sit here and  act all crazy cause they don'tlike the nationality your with they got too much time on their hands.  This ain't 1845. You can be with who you chose. You got one life to live make your self happy.

lisakansas
by on Mar. 30, 2011 at 9:19 PM

My best friend from college is married to a Tanzanian (she's white)...nobody dares say anything to her, she'd verbally eviscerate them and they all know it. :)  but that aside, I'm sure she deals with looks and attitude from strangers who don't know her well enough to fear her like they should, especially when she and her husband go out with their little daughter.  :(  I've never asked her how she deals with that...maybe I should.

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