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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

THIS IS NOT A DEBATE POST.... PLEASE NO BASHING !!

My sister is 23 and has always dated black men (well some boys I guess) . There have been times when she has been so upset at others reactions that she has gotten in physical fights, she has been depressed about what others think as well ( to the point she took a bottle of pills trying to die) I suggested that maybe she is not mature enough for this sort of relationship if she is not able to accept that some people are very opinionated, some people are just stupid and if she is happy that is all that matters. Well when I said that she said I was racist ! She said I was just saying that trying to get her to quit dating black men. That could not be further from the truth, I just wanted her to be happy, and not be so violent with others that she ends up in jail, or so sad she tries to kill herself!

Now onto my question.... How do you deal with others strong opions (sometimes stupidity) about interacial relationships ?

AGAIN THIS IS NOT A BASHING POST!





by on Mar. 30, 2011 at 7:58 PM
Replies (21-29):
la_bella_vita
by Bella on Apr. 1, 2011 at 2:42 AM

 I'm not in one, so bump!

la_bella_vita
by Bella on Apr. 1, 2011 at 2:42 AM

 There are several in both DH and our family's. It has never been an issue. I have no strong opinion except that I believe everyone should be with whoever they love.

mommyhonu
by Bronze Member on Apr. 1, 2011 at 8:14 AM

 Love doesn't know shape, size, color ... so long as people are happy that's all that matters.

nikitac
by on Apr. 1, 2011 at 10:47 PM

Well, I am an Indian from India who is married to a black Haitian. My family has been supportive from the getgo since my DH is a gem of a person. There is the concept of arranged marriage in India and he had to come down and ask my dad for permission to marry me.

Since I was so involved with him and we were so much in love, everyone else was supportive. I guess some families are different. The thing that parents worry about is if the guy is someone who really loves their daughter and can provide for her.

If there are people who have openions they keep it to themselves, he is also such a people person that he gets along famously with everyone he meets. He is more global than black or indian so can easily relate to all cultures.

The only attitude we deal with is with traditional Indians, who kind of stare at us when they see us together, we deal with them by kissing each other and scandalizing them even more. Now, it does not bother me anymore and I hardly care since it does not matter to us, nor do we stick to cultural rules we create new ones for our family as we come across situations. We are now expecting our first son and so excited to see him.

kissing

ShannaBee
by on Apr. 1, 2011 at 10:51 PM

I ignore it. If it weren't for an interracial couple (half Italian) then I wouldn't be here. I get so offended when I hear people talk bad about interracial couples and that people should stick to their own kind.

mrs_smiph
by on Apr. 1, 2011 at 10:54 PM

When my husband and I get looks or flat-out stares from people, we make sure to make eye contact and smile and say hello to them.  We usually have a good laugh after we get out of ear-shot range lol.

Summerlion1123
by on Apr. 1, 2011 at 11:02 PM

She's really got to learn how to deal with peoples opinions better because this is not the only challenge she will ever face. People will disagree strongly with her in a lot of things. For example if she has any kids not or ever has any. Have we not all learned from this site that just about ever parenting decision we make can be bashed? And that's just an example. I agree with you that perhaps she's not mature enough for this sort of relationship if she takes the comments this badly but she's going to have to start learning or she'll never be a happy person.

unsuspected
by Gold Member on Apr. 1, 2011 at 11:05 PM

I think this is less about the ignition point of the 'interracial couples' ... yes, that is what sparks her ... but your sister seems to have some anger managment issues and possibly depression.  She needs to build her self esteem to know that she is a strong, healthy, beautiful woman, no matter what some idiot has to say about one aspect of her life.

LuvablemomD
by on Apr. 1, 2011 at 11:19 PM

I feel opinions are like assholes and some are way more nasty than others ones...I am in a interracial marriage and we just do not care what others think about us because it is what we feel about each other that matters.If your love is strong for each other what others think will not ever matter.No matter who are or what you do in life people will always find something to hate on your for but you just have to live your life and find your own happiness in your life you life for yourself not others.When my husband and I first start dating it was awkward to get the comments and stares but we have came so far since then we look back on it all and it does not matter.The worst is when his family had negative things to say.It is like you know your loved one is getting treated this way by some people in this world why would you be a part of that negativity?

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