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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

On Sex, could use some positive encouraging advice here.

Posted by on Mar. 30, 2011 at 11:44 PM
  • 22 Replies

So I'm 25, I will be 26 this May. I have been with hubs since I was 14. I love him to death. I have ALWAYS more than enjoyed sex with him. Well, until "recently" that is.

We got pregnant with our first son last year (December 2009) and towards the end of my pregnancy (We had our son September 2010) I started to become very disinterested in sex. Mainly because of how HUGE I was. My doc assured me that it's common in late pregnancy, not to worry, as soon as my 6 weeks of pp were up, I would be enjoying sex again.

No, not true. I had an episiotomy at my birth. I SWEAR it's not the same. Something is wrong down there. I think the doc might have added one too many stitches? Is that possible? I'm telling you since then it has not felt right, and I have not enjoyed sex at all. 

I again asked my doc about this. He said it's sometimes normal. Sometimes new mothers, especially breast feeding mothers, tend to lack an interest in sex for up to a year after birth. My son is only 6 months old; barely.

I had been on the depo shot until recently when hubs and I decided to TTC for baby number 2. I didn't like the side affects to begin with. Like the massive amount of hair loss. =( In any case, the doc told me that again that could also play into the whole lack of interest in sex. 

I don't know what my deal is. I miss having sex with my hubby. I just feel so tired, so exhausted at the end of the day, or when I finally get some alone time with my hubs that I have no interest in having sex with him. Not to mention it's still pretty painful to have sex with him. 

So do ya'll have any advice? I want to not only have sex with my hubby, but I want to enjoy it again! I miss being so intimate with my hubby, and I'm sure he misses it with me. Well, I know he does, he's always so pawsy.

Oh, the other issue is, he is a booby man. BUT< since I am breast feeding, I'd rather him NOT touch my breasts. A) They hurt, especially when they are filled with milk. B) I am just a little werided out by the fact, that they are currently used to feed our son. C) I've really never been a boob person, really never liked my boobs touched and what not. =(


I don't want my husband to end up finding sex else where, and I don't want to be sexless. How can I make sex happen and better? I'm sure the amount of stress we've had lately hasn't helped either. =(


Thanks for the advice and help. Please, I could use positive encouraging advice. 


                                         

                                  

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by on Mar. 30, 2011 at 11:44 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Ladywithtwo
by on Mar. 30, 2011 at 11:50 PM
I also had an episiotomy and it did NOT feel ok after. My Dd is 4 and I'm ok now but still not crazy about having my boobs touched. Its like having a new body entirely... :(
Keep trying and know you are normal!
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mcclellanlass
by on Mar. 30, 2011 at 11:53 PM

I'm glad I'm not the only one that feels the way I do. =( I just do not feel normal at all. =( It doesn't feel right. I swear it's massively different down there. Hubs says he doesn't feel anything different, but I swear it's different. 

Yeah, I don't know why. I just don't like my breasts being touched. =(


Thank you, I guess I can keep trying! Practice makes perfect right?

Quoting Ladywithtwo:

I also had an episiotomy and it did NOT feel ok after. My Dd is 4 and I'm ok now but still not crazy about having my boobs touched. Its like having a new body entirely... :(
Keep trying and know you are normal!



                                         

                                  

Lilypie Breastfeeding tickersLilypie First Birthday tickers

Ladywithtwo
by on Mar. 30, 2011 at 11:57 PM
Wine can help too!
I probally drove DH and my obgyn nuts bc I insisted I was stitched wrong! Lol
I had a tiny surgical incision in my bellybutton as a teen and freaked out over the shape of my belly button changing. Of course I FREAKED when my vag was changed!
Lol, men don't understand!
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CameronsMommy23
by on Mar. 30, 2011 at 11:58 PM
Totally normal! I have 5 month old twins and sometimes I feel totally unintrested in intimacy. Having a baby changes your body and is a big life change so sometimes it takes a while to get back to normal physically & emotionally! Keep trying and it will get better! *hugs*
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mcclellanlass
by on Mar. 31, 2011 at 12:03 AM

Definately need to try the wine! AND YES< I Swear, swear swear with my whole life that it IS NOT the same. I know what my vag felt like before, come on 25 years with it, I should know it pretty well by now. Ugh. Hubs thinks I'm insane. But I swear it's not the same at all. =(

Quoting Ladywithtwo:

Wine can help too!
I probally drove DH and my obgyn nuts bc I insisted I was stitched wrong! Lol
I had a tiny surgical incision in my bellybutton as a teen and freaked out over the shape of my belly button changing. Of course I FREAKED when my vag was changed!
Lol, men don't understand!



                                         

                                  

Lilypie Breastfeeding tickersLilypie First Birthday tickers

mcclellanlass
by on Mar. 31, 2011 at 12:04 AM

Thanks doll! I'm glad to know I'm not the only one lacking the drive. =( It's just frusterating. I want to, but then I think about how much work it is, how much sleep I could be getting and would be missing out on. So I decide to sleep instead. ugh. 

Quoting CameronsMommy23:

Totally normal! I have 5 month old twins and sometimes I feel totally unintrested in intimacy. Having a baby changes your body and is a big life change so sometimes it takes a while to get back to normal physically & emotionally! Keep trying and it will get better! *hugs*



                                         

                                  

Lilypie Breastfeeding tickersLilypie First Birthday tickers

CameronsMommy23
by on Mar. 31, 2011 at 12:08 AM
No prob! I totally understand! Sleep is a precious commodity with a newborn in the house! Haha

Quoting mcclellanlass:

Thanks doll! I'm glad to know I'm not the only one lacking the drive. =( It's just frusterating. I want to, but then I think about how much work it is, how much sleep I could be getting and would be missing out on. So I decide to sleep instead. ugh. 

Quoting CameronsMommy23:

Totally normal! I have 5 month old twins and sometimes I feel totally unintrested in intimacy. Having a baby changes your body and is a big life change so sometimes it takes a while to get back to normal physically & emotionally! Keep trying and it will get better! *hugs*


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worship
by on Mar. 31, 2011 at 12:10 AM

 one I don't  think your husband will look anywhere else and eventually your sitches will dissolve .  Just need to take your time  it willl eventually happen.

LILTIGERS
by on Mar. 31, 2011 at 12:15 AM

 try to have sex in the morning with him..then go take a hot shower before your baby wakes up!! and if morning sex isnt your thing..take a hot shower with your husband before bed n start to fool around in there then go to bed room! hope it feels better soon!!! try to relax too wine =good idea!

britters4423
by on Mar. 31, 2011 at 12:16 AM

I also had an episiotomy with my first baby. I didnt end up wanting sex until a little over 2 months later. When we finally had sex, it was somewhat painful, things were a little different down there. But we just took our time and was as gentle as possible and after a few times of doing it this way, it started feeling good again. I wish you luck with this! 

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