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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

2 wrongs...

Posted by on Mar. 31, 2011 at 10:42 PM
  • 17 Replies

 

Poll

Question: Is what's good for the goose good for the gander?

Options:

Its right to get back!

2 wrongs dont make a right!

It would be something I might consider...Idk?


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 53

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If your SO cheated on you, do you feel you have the right to do it back? One of the things that came up in my experience was the suggestion that I should. I immediately dismissed the idea and really still don't have the stomach for it. But I wonder how many women who find their man unfaithful think tit for tat is something to consider?

by on Mar. 31, 2011 at 10:42 PM
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Replies (1-10):
CameronsMommy23
by on Mar. 31, 2011 at 11:59 PM
A part of you may be tempted to even the score but that doesn't make it the right thing to do ya know! It would be fuel to a fire b/c then he wouldn't trust you either. If a couple want to recover from infedility then getting revenge isn't the way.
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Summerlion1123
by on Apr. 1, 2011 at 12:02 AM

 I do believe in tit for tat in some cases but I would never cheat for my own self respect, because of the way I view cheaters.

HollyHawk333
by Bronze Member on Apr. 1, 2011 at 12:27 AM
I feel that if I were to cheat after getting mad at dh for cheating it makes me a hyprocrait. It makes what he did ok. So no I couldn't cheat and use him doing it first as an excuse.
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unsuspected
by Gold Member on Apr. 1, 2011 at 12:35 AM

Knowing what his cheating did to me, to our relationship ... it's been nearly 4 years ... we are healed, but not the same.  It is now part of the history of our marriage, part of our fabric that we just can not undo. 

It's a personal thing for any given person, but the way I feel about it ... I decided to stay because I still loved him, because we both worked to rebuild, it was hard, painful work ... no way would I want to go through that again.  I wouldn't want to hurt him, and I know it would hurt me too.

Cheating is not part of me, it's not something that intrests me.  In the begining, when I first caught him, I did think about it ... just because I would have been 'justified' and the sheer revenge of it, In weak moments, I wanted him to KNOW how I was feeling and there's no words to describe that pain.  but I wouldn't be able to live with myself, I know my own heart too well for that.

ChrissyReznor
by on Apr. 1, 2011 at 12:40 AM
I wouldn't want to stoop to his level
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la_bella_vita
by Bella on Apr. 1, 2011 at 2:44 AM

 If my husband cheated I would most likely leave. I would not cheat to hurt him. If I stayed, I would never think about cheating.

Bellarose0212
by on Apr. 1, 2011 at 3:32 AM

Okay, I don't think it would solve anything or be at all on the right path toward either salvaging the relationship OR moving on.

BUT, I don't think the man would have a right to be outraged if she did cheat, out of her hurt and confusion, it might be an understandable reaction.

leebrey
by on Apr. 1, 2011 at 4:15 AM
i cheated on my dh and i told him if he wanted to cheat on me to make things even he could and i would not hold it against him..he did cheat on me but he ended up leavin me and our children for her because he thought he was in love with her, then after a couple of weeks he realized that it was just lust and not love and he realized the grass was not as green on the other side of the fence. i let him come back and we have been together for over a year since it happened and we are stronger than ever but i would never do it again and i regret tellin him to cheat on me to get even as it literally worn me to the breakin point..i wouldnt eat, lost alot of weight on top of the weight i had already lost, i couldnt sleep at night while he was gone, i was absolutely incomplete without him. we have overcame both him cheatin and leavin me and me cheatin on him along with some other things and i believe we are stronger than we ever were before but tit for tat does not apply in this cheatin situation in my opinion
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smcclure2005
by on Apr. 1, 2011 at 4:43 AM

I am going to say other...why? I see it like this...2 wrongs don't make it right...but their wrong makes mine feel better....with that said I would leave his ass the moment that I found out so what I did after that would really not concern him in anyway...but that is just my opinion

ClassyMaye
by on Apr. 1, 2011 at 8:08 AM
Although it may seem like the right thing to DO, I wouldn't. I couldn't do it. Not because of hurting him but I don't want to have to explain to my daughters when they get older that I'm part of the reason mommy and daddy is not together. Tit 4 tat will never work. I would have to kick him out or harm him physically. I'd rather just make him leave.
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