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Post #1 How is your DH with your children.....(so frustraited)

Posted by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 4:42 AM
  • 10 Replies

So my Hubby and I have been together since we were young. I was 14 and he was 17 when we started dating. We got married as soon as I turned 18! So we have grown up alot together! Also when I was younger I did some things I am not proud of...I admit I was a different person then then I am now!

I will make another post about DH's family but a little about his father for this post. Ok Larry is one of 17 children. From my understanding his parents were very tough (this day in age they would be considered abusiive) Everything I know is from other people not Larry, so I am not sure to what extent his childhood was like. I do know he married DH's mom when she and he were the same age as Hubby and I when we got married. They have 5 children together, Hubby is the only boy. And thus far Hubby is the only non-alcoholic, who works, and is overall a decent person. The jury is still out on the baby girl, I have high hoops for her but in this family its hard...which I will explain in the other post. Anyway DH's father is hmmm not sure of the word. He is always doing and working on things, he spend little time at home or with DH's mom. He works, normally when he gets of he goes to one of his brother's house's and he doesn't get home until after dark. Then generally he stays in his bedroom and watches TV. He isn't a very talkative man unless your family. Hubby doesn't remember him ever giving hugs or kisses or saying he loves him. He did go fishing and hunting with him but he said his father never asked him to go...he just would jump in the truck and go. No he told me all this but he doesn't show any resentment with his father. Its like it was just how the men are in that family so its all he knew!

Well with our children Hubby is much better. He does give them hugs and kisses all the time. He has no probably telling them he loves them! But he doesn't understand the importance of spending time with the children. He does play with them and things like that but he has an online game and he spends ALOT of time on in. While he is on it the kids just watch tv and he considers that spending time. I do not...I think giving your undevided attention is spending time! How can I get him to understand the importance of being better then his father. Again if he doesn't think of his father negatively...his father was just his father it was how things were. So how do I get him to understand I believe a father is more then that without bashing his father? (His father compared to most of the other men in the family was still better b/c even if he is a heavy drinker, he always worked and provided the best he could for the family etc)

How is your DH with your children? Is there something your DH and children do together you find special?? Any ideas I can suggest to my Hubby??


HERE is Post #2



      I am a 24 yr old Mommy to two boys Xavier O'Neal Age5 Malachi O'Mari Age 2 and one baby girl Laylah-Marie Elizabeth ! I have been married to my wonderful Husband, Quentin, for 6 yrs and our children are our life! We are quiverfull, and Lord willing, look forward to many more children in our future!!                                    


by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 4:42 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MumsTheWord571
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 4:48 AM

my DH takes DS to the park, they play trains with DS's train tracks, they play cars with the matchbox cars. they do watch anime together, DH wrestles and tickles DS and they laugh and play together. My DH doesn't have a lot of time to play with DS because of his job, but what he does have he makes really count. He didn't have a father around growing up, just his moms abusive boyfriends. so he wants more than anything for DS to have good memories of his Daddy.

pregnancy due date

NoraDun
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 5:05 AM

Aww that is precous...Hubby does tickle them but he doest play toys with them as much as I would like. And I just think he could spend more of his spare time with them. Thank you for sharing tell you DH he is doing a great job!!

Quoting MumsTheWord571:

my DH takes DS to the park, they play trains with DS's train tracks, they play cars with the matchbox cars. they do watch anime together, DH wrestles and tickles DS and they laugh and play together. My DH doesn't have a lot of time to play with DS because of his job, but what he does have he makes really count. He didn't have a father around growing up, just his moms abusive boyfriends. so he wants more than anything for DS to have good memories of his Daddy.


      I am a 24 yr old Mommy to two boys Xavier O'Neal Age5 Malachi O'Mari Age 2 and one baby girl Laylah-Marie Elizabeth ! I have been married to my wonderful Husband, Quentin, for 6 yrs and our children are our life! We are quiverfull, and Lord willing, look forward to many more children in our future!!                                    


NoraDun
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 5:26 AM

BUMP!

NoraDun
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 3:25 PM

BUMP!

AnGLInterrupted
by Kendall on Apr. 23, 2011 at 3:43 PM

My DH is a very hands-on dad.  He takes her fishing, plays Barbies with her, tea parties, etc.  He's there for her because he didn't really have that growing up and doesn't want our DD to grow up like he did.  He's an amazing father.  One of the reasons I married him was because I knew he would be.

MommyOK
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 3:52 PM

Well my DH is just NOW warming up to the kids....and my oldest will be 4 in a few weeks. I'm sure the way men grow up has a lot to do with how they are with their family......BUT it's not ALWAYS the case. my DH older brother could probably hands down win the "best father of the year" he works a lot BUT he spends SO MUCH time with his kids taking them everywhere and anywhere..... My DH is just now getting into the..." I want to take them out" somewhere....I think little steps is how you should aproach your DH. Instead of saying...."please go hang out with your children" say "they had SO MUCH fun with you doing this and that....THANK you for doing it it really means a lot to them".....I noticed my dh is "responding" to that much better.

Men are like children :) They need encouragement :)

dingysfamily
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 5:19 PM

Our kids are all grown but when they were growing up he spent a lot of time with them .. well as much as he could considering we are a yours, mine & ours. His 3 by his ex didn't live with us, but his son was here every chance he could possible be and during the spring - fall, he was here about 65%+ of the time. Dh helped coach his little league teams and we always went to the games. My son did live with us, so for several years there were 2 boys playing ball ... we were quite a busy family. Dh's girls came a lot the first few years, but then they hit their teens & started doing more & more with friends; but when they came we made sure to do stuff with them. We also made sure they were treated as a normal part of the family; they all had to follow the same rules my son had to follow .. when they were here, they were 'living here'! It took the girls a little longer to adjust to that, but they did. They also learned that we were always here for them (his & mine) and that they could talk to us about anything. Hubby had no problems giving love, discipline and his time. When 'ours' came along, she was welcomed by all 4 older siblings and hubby again had no problem when it came time to join in with the care, discipline and playtime of her.  He was brought up in a family where there was very little affection shown, praise given and virtually no playtime with his dad; his mom tried, but his father was very old school and his mom worked very hard. They lived on a dairy farm - our home is built on what was part of that farm - and they worked from sun up to sun down.  I'm very proud of my hubby's fatherly habits.  Unfortunately, our middle daughter, & our oldest to a much smaller extent, don't seem to show their father much appreciation and only call when they need him for something anymore.

Ladywolf53510
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 5:26 PM

My hubby spends more one on one time with our daughters than I do.  Yeah I feel bad about this but my daughters seem to enjoy his company more than mine.

Grumpylilpixy
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 8:32 PM

I have 3 boys so hubby spends allot of time with them because it's really his job to make them into little men.

Gmgej
by Michele on Apr. 23, 2011 at 10:17 PM

Good luck. My dh loves our boys but he isn't good with them. He sucks at communicating, he barks and yells a lot and does not spend any special time with them. It makes me sad but he refuses to change, unfortunatly it is something he will never be able to make up for.

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