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Better Communication Challenge Day 3: Talking Tip--Remove This Word from Your Vocabulary!

Posted by on Apr. 29, 2011 at 4:57 PM
  • 125 Replies

Do you ALWAYS say ALWAYS? Raise your hand if phrases like this have come out of your mouth recently: You always forget to do that! You always are late! You never listen to me!

Try this Talking Tip today. Your activity for May 4 is: Don't Generalize. When you're talking to your partner about something he does that you don't like, avoid using words like always and never. Point to specific instances instead. If you believe that your partner ALWAYS does something, you're likely to act a lot angrier than you would if you were just focused on this one particular instance. Plus, it might make your partner feel like you're exaggerating the problem, making him less likely to take your criticism seriously.

Tell us how you can cut out generalizations like this in the replies below!

Plus, if you missed yesterday's conversation starter, you can find it here.

by on Apr. 29, 2011 at 4:57 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MixedCooke
by Silver Member on May. 3, 2011 at 10:22 PM

YEAH TOTALLY--I NEED TO STOP THAT!

lenoxclan
by on May. 3, 2011 at 10:23 PM

I've learned to always(giggles)use specific instances with dh, rather than saying you always do this I actually say you did this at this time and this time, when are you going to learn..LOL

MamaBear2cubs
by Bronze Member on May. 3, 2011 at 10:25 PM

Guilty, I've tried to not generalize so much, but after so much of the same bad behaviors it does feel like it is "Always".


TexasWife
by on May. 3, 2011 at 10:25 PM

Oh that is going to be hard because we say sometimes I will love you always. Eeek! I will try though.

moongoddesse
by on May. 3, 2011 at 10:26 PM

Yup, I am constantly generalizing....I have a bad memory and bringing up specifics frequently makes me look.....stupid......how do I make this work for me.

otoole
by Member on May. 3, 2011 at 10:26 PM

thats a hard one, what other way do you say it? its really hard.

glamorous_mami
by on May. 3, 2011 at 10:26 PM

 yeah i always do that...using "always & never" how to cut it out??ugh..... lol

CameronsMommy23
by on May. 3, 2011 at 10:26 PM
Aren't you supposed to use I statements in a disagreement too instead of you statements? Like "I feel blah blah blah" hehe
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Desiree9
by on May. 3, 2011 at 10:30 PM
I have a habit of doing this and my husband tells me I generalize everything when I talk
Sheana925
by on May. 3, 2011 at 10:31 PM
Oh man this will be hard
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