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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Better Communication Day 19: Time for Some Housework!

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Among all the things couples fight about, housework is one of the most common. In fact, one marriage expert calls it the #3 fight, after money and children. Are the "chore wars" common in your household?

Your activity for May 20 is: Talk About Housework. Today, have an honest conversation about housework in your home: how much you do, what you think you should be doing, what drives you crazy, what you wish he did more of, etc. If you need some questions to get the conversation started, you can try asking each other some of these:

  • What chores do I do that you most appreciate?
  • What is your least favorite chore?
  • How can you help me with certain tasks more often?
  • How can we work together to decrease our overall household chore burden?

We also recommend this suggestion from Dr. Howard Markman, author of "Fighting for Your Marriage": Choose one specific time each week to argue about housework, and ONLY talk about it then. That way, it doesn't become a constant fight. You can read more of Dr. Markman's advice in this article.

How can you change the chore wars in your house? Tell us in the replies below!

Plus, if you missed yesterday's Remember When game, you can find it here.

by on May. 19, 2011 at 3:13 PM
Replies (41-48):
SP_Mama
by on May. 22, 2011 at 7:19 PM

We don't really have chore wars.  I'm a SAHM, so I do most of the chores but he helps out on the weekends.  He's the one that did the dishes and started the clothes today.

MomToovey
by Marianne on May. 22, 2011 at 10:51 PM

 I do more housework than he does, but he works very very hard all week long and I very much appreciate it - and on top of that, he does still help out around the house!

When I asked what he most appreciates, he said all of it! Lol, aww...

His least favorite chore is empyting and taking out the diaper pail trash (so I do it for him, instead!)

The last 2 questions are not applicable in our circumstances. He already helps me so much just by the little he does - just like I take out the diaper trash because he hates it, he folds the laundry and empties the dishwasher because I hate it! And really, the only thing at this point that would decrease the housekeeping burden would be not to have children!!

kshepherd
by on May. 23, 2011 at 10:27 AM

We have two small children/mess makers.  We have found what works best for us is hubby entertains our hooligans and I clean as fast as I can. 

sunshine86912
by Member on May. 23, 2011 at 2:29 PM

that is an awesome idea! I love it..we really do a lot of chores on sunday..so I guess that is normally chore war day haha.  my husband is pretty good at helping me out though, so its not TOO bad most of the time.

beth129
by on May. 27, 2011 at 5:05 PM

I have given up this fight I do all the chores my husband is like a child he makes messes and throws clothes all over the place. if there is something on the floor he will step on it or over it instead of picking it up. I ask him to do the dishes and he does them half assed leaves food on them or does not rinse them properly so I will bitch about it and then do them myself. so I just do all the house work.

emerald2
by on May. 27, 2011 at 6:50 PM
Since I'm not working at the moment I make them my job, but DF has no problem helping or taking them over.
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Mystic0ne
by on May. 27, 2011 at 7:06 PM

 I really aprreciate it when my DH helps with the dishes and the laundry.

My least fav is doing the floors ( to me I can not get them clean enough) old linolium..

We have agreed if you see something that needs to be done to not wait for one or the other to say something

to the other.

To do a little each day.

m.u.m.
by on May. 31, 2011 at 9:55 AM

 you know, if he doesn't take the trash out, which is very rare, I try to let it go, he works hard enough and taking a few min for an extra chore isn't the worst thing in the world :) He appreciates me when I take the time to do that too :)

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