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My husband....Update in replys!

Posted by on May. 21, 2011 at 12:36 PM
  • 11 Replies

doesn't want to have sex with me anymore. I can feel it in the way he just sits there when I try to get a "rise" out of him. I'm not sure if it's the pressure of TTC or if he is stressed. But it makes me feel like shit. I am so upset, I feel like maybe he isn't attracted to me anymore. He tells me I'm beautiful & that he loves me but doesn't act on those things. TMI but today I was folding laundry wearing nothing but a pair of panties & he just watched. Didn't try to do anything. Idk maybe I am over reacting. I know that I am the one with the highr libido but I always thought men were easy to turn on...


by on May. 21, 2011 at 12:36 PM
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by on May. 21, 2011 at 12:44 PM

It's very possible that TTC is getting to him. How long have you been trying? Do you think maybe he's feeling pressure because nothing has happened so he's stressing out? 

Also, are you guys doing anything in the bedroom that is maybe making him feel like it's more of a chore than fun? Things like certain positions because it's better when TTC or anything like that? I'm not accusing, just trying to help you think of things that might be happening...

by on May. 21, 2011 at 12:44 PM
Do you have any kids right now? When's the last time you guys had and evening and whole night to yourselves?
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by on May. 21, 2011 at 12:47 PM

Are you preggo now and not know it yet?? The reason I ask is my ex would just watch me if I did the same thing you did.  Sometimes they just want to watch...I don't see that in itself as a reason to say he doesn't want you.  I can understand your frustrations though and I'm sorry your going through this.  Maybe you should talk to him and tell him how it makes you feel...


by on May. 21, 2011 at 1:06 PM
TTC is very stressful on avsex life. It becomes a chore. Especially for men even though they rarely verbalize it.

Don't worry about trying to conceive for a night or to. Instead, focus on seducing your husband. Want him because he is sexy and you can't keep your hands off of him. Want him because he is your husband and you love him, not just because you want him to put a baby in your belly.

Hope it works out mama.
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by Silver Member on May. 21, 2011 at 1:25 PM

I would talk about your concerns with him.

by on May. 22, 2011 at 2:01 PM

Thanks Ladies! sometimes i just need this support. To answer a few questions, no I am not pregnant, No kids of us yet-we are ttc#1.  I try to take the strain off of him in the bedroom because I know that sex is exhausting for him, but I think that maybe the problem. He is my first & only but he is 8 years older & has been with others.

sometimes it just bruises my already battered self-esteem when he avoids contact with me. I plan on having a talk with him & telling him this. I have always had a hard time talking about sex. It was a taboo subject the way i was raised. Thanks again for all your advice & support!!


by Kendall on May. 22, 2011 at 2:21 PM

TTC is very rough on a sex life.  Everything has to be planned, timed and done just so.  Men tend to feel like tools or utensils during all of this.  And after awhile, if you haven't succeeded, then they feel like they are less of a man, just like a woman might feel like less of a woman.  Believe me, we've been at it for 8 years now.  The best advice I can give you, is quit talking to him about TTC around O time.  YOU plan it, and let it happen naturally for HIM!  Don't mark it on a calendar, don't give him hints.  Just take the bull by the horns and seduce him!  It'll help him feel loved, needed and wanted.  The other 3 weeks of the month, you can talk to him about it.  But at O time, leave the TTC talk out of the bedroom!  Just my advice!  GL sweetie!

I'm over at the TTC and Infertility Group!  A bunch of great women over there with advice about TTC and all things related.  I don't normally shout-out to other groups, but I figured it would apply here!  [hugs]

by on May. 22, 2011 at 2:29 PM
well i dont have any advice but i hope u get preggo soon : ) me and dh ttc for almost a year before it happened and man it can be frustrating!
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by on May. 22, 2011 at 3:51 PM
I agree with PPs. And good luck!
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by on May. 22, 2011 at 4:04 PM

 It is 100% possible it is from ttc.  When you are actively ttc it make sex more of a job then an expression of love or a fun activity.  It can be stressful for both of you and can take a big toll on a marriage.  I would lay off on the ttc so hard for a bit.  Let sex be fun again and it will first off help your marriage, it will help your self esteem, it will make sex fun again, and it might even result in a baby since you won't be stressing about it all. 

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