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Marriage is hard ladies; this is common sense...

Posted by on May. 21, 2011 at 7:39 PM
  • 101 Replies
I am sorry if I offend anyone here, but I have seen so many negative posts lately in this group on how horrible their marriage is and how hard things are and they just want to give up. The replies are equally negative. I understand women supporting women and showing compassion, but something needs to be said here. YOU MARRIED THIS MAN! If you didn't know him before you married him, then maybe you should have waited to get married. If you decide after a few years of being married that now "his ways" bother you, then you shouldn't have married him in the first place. No one is perfect; that means women equally as men. Did you ever consider that he may not like your ways either, but he married you inspite of it. The plain and simple truth is that marriage is hard. Ask someone who has been married for 40 years if they ever thought about leaving or if their husbands ever acted like selfish jerks. Believe me, they have. The solution to the issues I'm seeing on here is simple; work it out. Do the best you can on your part and communicate without bitching or being ugly. Give 110% and he will either meet you in the middle or not. Once you have given your marriage several years of trying your best, then you should re-evaluate what you should do based on where the relationship is at that point. I'm so tired of women coming on here and complaining about this and that without even making an effort on their end. It takes two to make or break a marriage...period! Like I said before, this post wasn't intended to offend anyone. I just feel that there is a lot of whining on here and so many women quick to throw their hands up and walk away from a man that that knew before they married them and expected them to be different after the wedding. Reality, people! Face it! It's okay to vent, but jeez, let's stop all the overdramatic posts. For real.

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by on May. 21, 2011 at 7:39 PM
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Replies (1-10):
firenice2011
by on May. 21, 2011 at 7:41 PM
BUMP!
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ashwa
by Member on May. 21, 2011 at 7:44 PM
Wow! You were actually brave enough to say what I was thinking about this group! It's too negative in here! My marriage is great! Of course none are perfect!
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hotmommytutu
by on May. 21, 2011 at 7:46 PM

While I do agree w/ you I have to add that maybe they post it on here just to vent.  Sometimes just getting a sympathetic ear is all a woman needs. 

I mean, afterall, is this not what cafemom or these groups are for? 

firenice2011
by on May. 21, 2011 at 7:46 PM
It's just so frustrating...lol! My marraige is far from easy, but jeez, I married him the way he was...for better or WORSE. So many women forget their vows when things get tough. Sad...


Quoting ashwa:

Wow! You were actually brave enough to say what I was thinking about this group! It's too negative in here! My marriage is great! Of course none are perfect!

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firenice2011
by on May. 21, 2011 at 7:50 PM
Correct. Like I said in my post, I understand venting. The issue is that there is a difference between venting and wanting to give up because things are hard at the time.


Quoting hotmommytutu:

While I do agree w/ you I have to add that maybe they post it on here just to vent.  Sometimes just getting a sympathetic ear is all a woman needs. 


I mean, afterall, is this not what cafemom or these groups are for? 


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jess80
by on May. 21, 2011 at 7:51 PM
Some men change after u marry them or didn't show their true colors while dating.My ex and I were 20 and 24 when we got married and got along great until 2 yrs.later when I was expecting our dd,he got a new job and met some drugdealers at work and got hooked on crack.so it's nit fair to say " u knew him before u married him"
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hotmommytutu
by on May. 21, 2011 at 7:55 PM


Quoting firenice2011:

It's just so frustrating...lol! My marraige is far from easy, but jeez, I married him the way he was...for better or WORSE. So many women forget their vows when things get tough. Sad...


Quoting ashwa:

Wow! You were actually brave enough to say what I was thinking about this group! It's too negative in here! My marriage is great! Of course none are perfect!


I like to play devils advocate.......in my case, that marriage certificate changed it all.  My husband and I have been together for 14 yrs now and married for 9 but, certain things along the path of life changed my husband everytime.  Is he the man I married?  Nope.  Granted, I'm probably not the woman he married anymore either but, I did not find out a lot of things until after we were married w/ 2 kids and had moved to Canada from Florida........by then I was in it for the long haul.......regardless of who he was when we married.

angelmom0405
by on May. 21, 2011 at 7:55 PM

Most of the posts ive seen have been dealing with abuse or cheating. I would have to give up on that note. IMO everyone on here needs to vent on occasion and usually if your marriage is going great then you have no need for support at that point. so posts wont be made about that too often. 

OliviaW.
by on May. 21, 2011 at 7:59 PM

I love my husband but there are times I would like to beat him about the ears with a stick. I knew who he was before getting married to him. It's a take it or leave it thing. We've both grown up since we got married and we've grown closer together.

biancalina20
by Bianca Lina on May. 21, 2011 at 7:59 PM
On most part yes your right BUT what about the women who married someone and after they are married, there husband starts abusing them physically? Do you think that's right? Because I sure as hell don't. Some husbands will seek help for it and some don't or won't.
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