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I am perplexed...

Posted by on May. 21, 2011 at 8:27 PM
  • 1 Replies
I have a really great husband. For the past several months he has been taking care of everything for me. I have some strange health things going on and the answers the doctors give us is... sorry I just do not know what is going on. I have swelling everywhere, I can not close my hands, my feet legs arms just everything hurts. My skin feels like it is going to split sometimes. Anyway, I am still working everyday but when I get home I am so exhausted all I can do is crawl into bed and put my feet up. This is where I get confused...I am working everyday in more pain than I have ever experienced before. He is not working! My sorry little income can not support us. I suggested looking for low income housing because we can not afford our home. I ask if he has any appointments scheduled for his work and he never does. Whenever I see him at his computer he is either watching some history channel show or playing poker. I never see him being productive at his work. He will spend hours reading webmd about my symptoms. He will comment that maybe being in a stressful situation is part of the cause. Then he will serve me dinner in bed! Bottom line I am not happy, I should be but I am not. He has so much potential but I can not live on potential. We can not. I guess what is prompting this is our nine yr. old daughter told me today that she was trying to find a job online today! She said she wants to get more money. I have not talked to him about my feelings in quite a while. You see it has been years since he has maintained any kind of substantial income. It is always one thing or another that "prevents" him from working. It seems like he is so worried about me he can't be apart yet I go to work and he is home! This does not work for me. It is like he gets so occupied in doing insignificant unproductive things that what is important just goes by the wayside. It seems to me that he is just fine accepting welfare or assistance from church than do for himself or his family. I am tired, I do not know how to bring this up without either getting into a fight or him acting like the injured party. Whenever I bring this stuff up he gets so defensive then just says I am right cries a little, yet nothing changes EVER! Other than his lack of work he truly is a wonderful, caring, gentle man. I am so sad...what do I do?
by on May. 21, 2011 at 8:27 PM
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hotmommytutu
by on May. 21, 2011 at 8:34 PM

A lot of what you just said and I mean a LOT is my story, too.  I finally got fed up and filed for a seperation.  Granted, we're still living together but, we are legally seperated at this point and that was the kick in the butt he needed.  It broke my heart reading that your 9 yr old daughter was looking for a job....tell him that! I have an 8 yr old daughter and an 11 yr old daughter and if I found them doing that it would kill me.  (as a mom I go w/o before girls ever will)  Maybe your daughter doing that is the kick in the butt you need to tell him what you think and feel.....

Good luck momma!

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